I miss the old Jan. I use to be happy. I use to be the one that cheered up others, showed others the brighter side of things. I was goofy and I had fun.
Now I worry too much. Have this nagging depression weighing me down. I feel bad, sad, not how it use to be.
It makes me so mad, because I know that I am so fortunate! I truly have this wonderful family and amazing friends that love me so much. I want to be enjoying life again.
Yesterday, I came to the realization that life is quickly passing me by. I don't want to miss another minute of joy. I want to change gears and appreciate the good more. Make the best. And grasp the opportunities I have and make more wonderful memories to come.
I have tried to adjust my attitude. I noticed my mood affects those around me more than I realize. Annie was a joy last night. She laughed, shared pictures and facebook stuff, we even window shopped for prom dresses online. I almost forgot how much joy she brings me. She is so amazing and I am so in awe of all she has become. Before I know it she will be off to college. I don't want to miss another minute.
One more note: these pictures are all from my 35-40 period. Maybe that awful blond hair did more than I thought with the blonds have more fun. I didn't realize it before reviewing this post. My happiest times I went for the "highlighted & blonder" look. Hmmm. Makes me think.