Howdy Doody

I know I have been MIA for awhile.  I've had much to say, but need to be reserved.  I'm being censored so to speak, and to avoid being misunderstood or speaking of things before really thinking about it (hence my post a while back), I have been staying back in the shadows a bit.  Also, on a brighter note I have been wonderfully busy.

Work is still fabulous, although stressful.  I am so crazy about "my girls".  I'm a proud Momma of the young women they are and so grateful to be a small part of their lives.  They are patient with me as I continue to break the communication barrier.  My sign language has improved greatly, however my ASL stinks... Especially if you are asking my professor who is so frustrated with me and my old "English" habits.  I refuse to be a quitter and continue on (even through tears occasionally). I do think that I am learning everyday.  I just wish I could follow better and not miss so much of the conversations.  It is a struggle.  I do love my Boss! I could not ask for a more caring and wonderful person to work for.  She reminds me much of my friend Jill.  When I worked for Jill, she never made me feel inferior. I feel more of a team player than a worker bee.  My Boss is also very patient with my communication struggles and is very encouraging and supportive. I do believe that she is pleased with me and the job I am doing.  I hope to be working with her for years to come.  As the school year is wrapping up, the residential students are finishing up yet another year of education.  Making prom dates, practicing for the school play, busy with track and softball, and a few of my girls are preparing for graduation and what is to come.  I wrote a letter of recommendation for one of my girls as she anticipating getting accepted to RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology).  She is amazing and I am anxious to see her succeed. 
Speaking of ANXIOUS... soon we will know what Dorm we will be assigned for the coming Fall.  I am so hoping to remain with the High School Girls.  It will be a hard adjustment to have a new assignment.  Also I am in hopes that I will continue to work with the Co-Worker I currently have.  She is an incredible young woman that I greatly admire and have so enjoyed sharing the Dorm with.  We are a great team, and after some of the experiences we have had, I think we both feel pretty good together and hope to continue a team.

I am trying to secure a job for summer employment.  Trying to find a job for 8 weeks is not easy.  Our School schedule has changed, therefore, while many schools are on a different schedule, summer Nanny jobs are requiring employment through mid August, and I go back to ISD August 1st.  Being off sounds lovely but the fear of not getting those summer paychecks are too scary!

Hubby took Emily and Annie to Las Vegas this weekend.  He has business there this week and the girls are joining him for the weekend.  I considered going as well. However, I have been so Blessed to take so many trips with the girls and poor Hubby has not.  So, this was a wonderful opportunity for him to take them and enjoy a fast weekend with much to do.  They left yesterday.  Ms Emily hasn't been on a plane in about 6 years and was a tad nervous (it was Friday the 13th too).  Annie is more traveled, preparing to leave this summer for London.  Annie sent me this picture from the plane.

Splendid, isn't it?
It was a long flight with a layover in Phoenix.  They got there last night before 10pm, but with the time change, they gained 3 hours.     They got checked in at Bally's, grabbed dinner, and played some slots and looked around.  Today Hubby took them shopping.  Sounds like they all did well.  Emily found a dress, Annie shoes, and Hubby jeans.  I know they are having a blast. (Dad will spoil them and they so deserve to be spoiled alittle :)
Hubby just sent this to me.

Babies at Ceasars

Hoping they make at least one show while there.  So much to see in a short time.  Emily said its chilly so they haven't enjoyed the pool. Hopefully it will warm up!

Well, I hate to admit it... but I am enjoying the house to myself.  I have Pandora playing my golden oldies.  I have a fire in the fireplace. I'm cleaning, de-cluttering, purging, and catching up on Blog World.  Also pinning on Pinterest and nervous after reading a report on a favorite Blog of Pinterest in Jeopardy (copy write laws).. Please don't take my Pinterest away... People I have more than 50 boards and over 6,000 pins.  Yes, I have a bit of an obsession with it.  It's that great.  I hope to finish a couple of Pinterest projects this week while Hubby is away.  I'm also watching that goofy television programs Hubby would never watch with me.  Eating eggs for dinner, Capt'n Crunch for lunch and drinking a little wine too.  It's a mini vacation even though I am working too!

Which reminds me... I need to get some taxes done so I better go for now.

♪Don't Give Up on Me Baby♫

Gosh it has almost been 2 weeks since I last posted.  I actually have a couple of incomplete drafts but so much is going on and my mood has been iffy.

Since I last wrote:

• I went on a wonderful trip with my Deaf School Students; 
• had a grand surprise of publication; 
• visited my Mom; 
• got together with my Sis; 
• had some work drama;
• talked to my Dad; 
• taught one of my ISD Girls to write a blog; 
• daughter came home for holidays; 
• precious Cat passed away; 

and a bunch of other STUFF. So I have a lot to tell you... I am just very behind.

I am going to try to work on these drafts and post them today.

AT LEAST ONE!
Love you all and hope you don't give up on me.
I'll Be Back!

Whoopsie!

Oh Crap!
So, Hubby is out of town and I have been trying to get caught up in Blog World with this free time.  Which okay, truth be known, I can get rather consumed in the reading & commenting and not pay attention to whats going on around me.
I work a 9 hour shift and give myself time to get there & back so it makes for a long day for the dogs to be cooped up in their room.  I decided earlier to let them lounge outside and soak up this beautiful fall day as long as possible.
Okay, confession time... We are a little bit Hillbilly... just a little when need be. The one reason I did not want to buy this house is the stupid association rules that do not allow me to put a fence up in my backyard. Oh, wait a minute... I can put a fence up...to there liking which means a wrod iron fence to the sum of around $12,000 to surround my yard & not even give me privacy. It's my damn backyard & I really want my critters to be able to gallop about and enjoy the yard.  so anyway here's the Hillbilly thing. We have a stake in the yard with a long tie down leash (actually to make it more Hillbilly, it is two leashes linked together). I then link Riley's leash to the end of it, with Bandits leash handle through the tie downed leash so he can run the length as well.
Anyway.. every now & then they will pull the stake out and wander the yard. Not very often, but it has happened.  By The Way... Dakota isn't leashed, he just stays right next to Riley & Bandit.
So, I am engrossed in Blog reading with the dogs out, and I hear a dog howl...hmm, that sounds kind of like Riley. But I don't get up. There it is again.. But it sounds far.  hmm. Back to reading.

Then all Hell breaks loose & I am sure that is Riley's bark, although not in the back yard, accompanied by Bandits bad ass gonna kill you bark & Dakota's little yeah...that's right! yipping.
I dart out back, hear the dogs but not in sight.  I am calling them, trying to figure which direction to go. A neighbor a few homes down appears and waves telling me they are over here.  I run to find my dogs tangled with the Hillbilly leash stuck in between beautiful landscaped pine trees, making a mess & still trying to attack my neighbor Tim.  He had wanted to help them when he noticed them but they wont let him approach. Even with me present, they pretty much want to eat Tim.  Yes, I am that neighbor with the mean dogs.  The unpetable dogs in a neighborhood swarming with the friendliest dogs you'd ever meet. I thank him & apologize and we agree he needs to step off so I can get them untangled...  I can only imagine what he was thinking of me, the leash tiedown, and my unruly Dogs.

To make matters worse, I get a bunch of tree sap all over my hands and my fingers keep sticking together.  See? Nice how my ring finger is now attached to my middle finger.  AND I have an annoying habit of running my hand through my hair... It is sticking to the hair.  When I try to talk with my hands signing today, I will be a mess.  Scary hands.

Hey~ did you notice the cool crackle polish? Here's a better picture with a clean hand from last night. Im petting Riley.  I bought a bunch of polish for my girls at the School.  Their school colors are orange and black so I did the crackle with orange & black.  I know! I am so cool!  No wonder the girls all love me! I also braided hair last night. I hope no one ask tonight because my sticky hands will get caught in their hair.
I have been searching turtles as we thought it would be fun to have a pet turtle.  But I forgot we live in INDIANA, where little turtles are banned from selling. And the turtles over 4 inches (legal size) are so expensive. I have also realized with all this research that they really are not the pet we should be looking for.  I mean come on, my animals always outlive their normal life expectation and therefore could easily out live us all!  Nah... maybe I will look more at Hermit Crabs. Please don't mention gold fish..we already tried them. Long story..
Anyway...
I best be getting my butt off the couch & start getting ready for work.
Have a great one all!

an apology

apology: An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense

 Monday was a difficult day.  More of a heavy heart day.  

I felt sadness for my Hospice patient's death. Not really for him as much as his beloved wife. This was my first "death", in Hospice Volunteering.  I knew it was going to happen.  I am glad I was able to assist in the family as far as giving respice care. I tried not to become too emotionally attached (yes I hear you snickering those who know me and my ability to get emotionally attached to everyone & everything). But, still it was sad to see the widow, of 62 years of blissful marriage, say good bye to her beloved.

I am sorry for the family's sadness.  For their loss.

I also attended a case conference for the student I work with at  ISD.  Of course I want what is best for this sweet child. I understand and appreciate all ISD has been able to do for this child. However, once again, I got myself emotionally attached and now, as it has been determined this child needs may be more than we can currently give, the child had to become a day student rather than residential, while we scramble to find ways to meet needs. At least until we are able to provide a more acceptable circumstances for the child. As I participated in this conference, I remembered to keep the child's best interest at heart, although I knew it may mean I may miss the child.  It broke my heart...especially hearing the family stress the child will be so broken hearted.

I am sorry for this situation. I am sorry it wasn't able to work out as many had hoped.

Later once I got off work, I checked my emails and ran across a message from my Sister.  We had both been to a high school reunion block party last Saturday.  Hubby & I left before my Sis & BIL.  Julie told me she ran into an old neighbor of ours. The Bully, that beat me up everyday for two years.  Apparently, this has been heavy in his heart for some time. He expressed to my sister, how regretful he is about the abuse he put me through. He told her, how he would tease me, wrestle me to the ground, and beat me up.

This boy was my age. We were friends, neighbors... then one day he started beating me up. Don't sit there & think, awe, his way of saying he liked you.  We were in the 6th and 7th grade.  He would stand on the bus turn to face me and say with a grin, "Time for your daily beating". I would try to get away. I would beg the bus driver to make him stop (whom rarely did... usually if it got rough he would tell the boy to wait wait till we were off the bus). My parents would confront his Mom (Dad was never available). My parents then tried to teach me to defend myself. {Thanks Dad~ I still remember some of those moves}. This Bully was odd. I would get beat up, once a day & the rest of the day he'd act like we were friends. He'd talk to me, played kick ball together with the neighborhood, we had school classes together, he once rescued a puppy a man was drowning in the nearby creek, and brought it to me, asking my Dad if I could have it... One day I was to be disciplined in class, for excessive chattering (imagine that..me?) and I was going to get paddled.. My Bully stood up, told the teacher, he would take my whacks. She let him.. As he walked by me, he said, Im the only one allowed to hit you.
We all knew everyone's business in my little neighborhood. Everyone knew that he & his brothers got beatings from a drunk Dad. But, I still didn't deserve to get the beatings from him.  And by the way... he only beat me up. No one else, Except maybe for those neighborhood boyhood scuffles. Few friends ever tried to make him stop. In fear they would become his target. My Sister, his brother, Bestie Mary, and a couple others would actually stop him...or he would avoid hitting me around them.
One day, he caught me cutting through a hidden shortcut to a friends house.  I was terrified as he threw me down and rather than punches, he choice to start touching me inappropriately.    This was different and I was scared. Some older boys heard me scream and came into action. They pulled him off, Picked me up, helped me straighten myself out and told me to run home. Im not sure exactly what they did to him, but he never touched me again. the beatings also stopped.
I could breathe again.

Back to Saturday evening, when he ran into Julie...he proceeded to take the next 10-15 minutes telling Sis to be sure to tell me that he is so very, very sorry for all the trouble he ever caused me. She assured him she'd let me know but he persistently kept on about how he had it hard with his dad being a drunk and beating him, and how the big kids on the block used to beat him up too, and how he just turned mean and took it out on me. She told me there were tears in his eyes and she know he wished he were talking to me instead of her.

I am glad he saw her instead of me.


I am glad he is apologetic.

Thirty years later... apology accepted. Thank you Jamie, I do appreciate it.


A weight has been lifted somehow from my heart. And I hope he can be at peace as well.


This apology came at a rather good time.  I hadn't thought of the nightmare of getting beat for a while, however, it does come to mind sometimes.  It is hard to understand why a scrawny girl would have to be the victim of such a thing. But, I am sure that it has helped mold me into the person I am.

The cheerleader of the Underdogs.
The nurturing Queen.
The Goddess of kindness

The Incredible Marvelous Job

I LOVE MY JOB!
I know what you are thinking... "Yeah right. Don't we all after the first week? Especially when one has been laid off for 6 months?" Well, this is true, maybe, but there is something to be said about finding your niche. Your, "I fit, I am the missing link."
Applying for this position wasn't easy.
1st: I had to consider if I am willing to work evenings and give up my regular routine.  3:00pm -12:00am is not the greatest hours to be working for everyone. It messes with your your married life, your social life, and your sleep pattern.
2nd:  I had to consider a nine month position vs a twelve month position. Nine months means three months less pay.
Speaking of pay...
3rd: I had to consider taking a big pay cut.  Isn't that the way it often is? The really great jobs, pay very little.  We had to consider if this cut was going to be worth it.  Honestly, it is the main reason I had not considered looking into the position.  But sometimes, we realize, although salary is very important in our jobs, it isn't always the most important part of a job.

For years I have worked jobs that I was good at, but lacked passion.  Jobs that paid very well, but gave me nothing as far as gratitude. Ever since I young, I knew working with children was my passion.  I have oodles of youth leadership. that were rewarding when I volunteered myself to be Brownies, Girl Scouts, chaperoning, church organizations...

When we decided it may be worth a look, it's like God was leading me to this.  Through the hundreds of job searches I have made over the past year, never coming across my old job.  I found nothing in the State job offerings (this is a state paid job). So I went to the Indiana School For the Deaf website & BINGO! The job (Residential Assistant) was just posted that day... Seriously?

So I applied.
...I contacted a few of my old students (now all adults) and asked them to keep me in prayer as I just applied.  I was overwhelmed by their sweet encouragement and words.
...I decided to make one more little contact... I emailed the Superintendent of ISD.  Introduced myself, gave him some history of when I previously worked here and why I want to come back.
...he emailed me back... thanking me for sharing and wishing me luck.
...and I received another email from Director of Student Life, whom let me know that the Sup forwarded my email to her. oh boy....getting excited!
...then I got a phone call asking me for an interview... WHOO HOO!
...I was interviewed by both Assistant Deans (Boys & Girls).
...I sent my thank you for the interview emails and waited...
then I got the offer!
Whoo Hoo!

Welcome Back indeed!

I have to say, although nervous about the changes that 20 plus years could bring to a place, and the fear of my lack of ASL skills, I was truly impressed with what I returned to.

The Staff is AWESOME.
Everyone is welcoming and helpful. I even joyfully saw a familiar face from before.  Everyone patiently signs slowly for me and are eager to assist me with new signing words. The environment is good.  The children are well behaved and I sense a good balance of respect between students and staff.  I am anxious to work with these amazing kids.  Grateful to have Girls Dorm. (I love you Boys, but Good Golly you Boys are MESSY!)
So far I have floated from Dorm to Dorm learning each Resident Assistant's techniques and routines.  I have meet most all the girl students and am slowly learning the boys as well.  I do not know which Dorm I will be assigned for the Fall, as we all will have to wait and see.  I have a few favorite Staff RA's that I hope to be placed with but will be grateful wherever placed.  As long as it is mutual (I know one RA has made it clear she doesn't want to share a Dorm, I will probably get that Dorm.)

I think I can see myself in a Happily Ever After job placement here. It just feels right.