Baby Mommy

Remember hearing of the horrible true story of little Lina? She is recorded as the worlds youngest mother... Ever. She was 5. Yes I typed that correctly. 5 years old. This young child had abnormalities causing her tiny body to "mature" quicker than the norm. Her menstruation is thought to have began before the age of four. Lina Medina had her child, a boy, by cesarean, 1939 in a Peru hospital. The Father was never exposed.

There are so many others. Not quite that young but not quite a teenager themselves. While many cultures expect or even embrace young Moms. Some believing that when a girl starts menstruating that they are ready for motherhood. Some are victims of abuse and neglect. And yet some are just stupid. Hence the Glamorizing in it with shows like The Secret Life of The American Teenager and Teen Mom.

I realize this is debatable. Some say that seeing what it is like makes girls NOT want to get pregnant. I work with High School Girls. Some watch Teen Mom. And they don't all see it the same way. I am bringing this up because a teenager recently shared with me what is happening in her own family. Her 12 year old cousin is scheduled to deliver triplets today. This child is having babies. Her Mommy told her she can keep them (like they were kittens or puppies). She was allowed to quit school (mind you she hasn't even started high school). The Baby Daddy? Ohhh yes. Her little 12 year old boyfriend is in Juvenile. Way to show maturity. Yeah... Can't stop thinking about this family. The how this could happen. And the what is going to happen to these precious babies, including the children that are now parents.

A friend of mine, Labor Delivery & Recovery Nurse, once delivered a baby from a 13 year old.  Six months later that baby was on the news as a missing child alert. My friend never heard what the outcome was.

I have an Aunt who's Mother had her first at just 14.  And she turned out to be one of the Best Momma's I ever knew. 

My own Mother was 19. I just couldn't imagine that. I certainly wasn't ready to become a Mom at 19! (I was 26).

I have heard of many stories that turn out beautifully with young Moms. I am not trying to pass judgement.  I am just trying to wrap my head around this child that will become a Mother of three at the age of 12.

I think about how we must have a license or degree to do so many things.  How we have age requirements and laws about them for so many things. Yet there is nothing... no guidelines rules or anything when it comes to reproducing.  If you have the equipment... that is enough.

How sad is this?

Celebrating Motherhood...a little differently

Mother's Day.
It's here again.
I have already seen my Facebook friends bombard the site with well wishes, as well as the "I am so lucky". There are the, "repost this if's".. and the, "Flowers to you's". Everyone is giddy with, "Awe, my family loves me so much".
Oxygen Channel, W Channel, Hallmark Channel as well as some others have dedicated the airways to the sappy touchy tearful movies, which I love and yes, I am watching one now as I write. {there is this queer little "countdown to Mothers Day! 1 Day left!", in the left corner of my TV.}
Commercials about what Mom wants. Advertisements about where to take Mom. Oh... and don't forget the flowers!
blah blah blah.
Please don't get me wrong.
I LOVE my family.
I have Awesome Daughters and a Fabulous Husband.
I love my Mother. And the dozen or so other women that helped mode me into who I am.
What I hate is all this hype. All this commercialization. All the bragging. All the expectations.
I don't have expectations for tomorrow to be "my day". I won't be getting breakfast in bed. The family won't be taking me to church. We won't be going to dinner, nor will it be fixed for me. I most likely won't get gifts, flowers, or cards. Well maybe cards. My girls are both out for the evening and will not be home till tomorrow. My Hubby is exhausted from a business trip.
I am not even going to see my Mom tomorrow. I will call her, and send a late card ( I am bad). She lives out of town, and has made some plans as well with her friend.
My plans are to visit my Aunt Nancy in the Nursing Home, come home and do the usual . (Maybe I will be in a nicer mood and Blog about all the women I love and are thankful for.)
I am sorry if I seem grumpy or out of sorts. Holidays (especial the guilt ones) always make me edgy. I guess, I too, really wish for the Fairy Tales. Maybe I am a tiny bit jealous. I wonder what it is like to be treated like Queen for the day. I wish I was closer to my own Mom and gave her the Queen for the day treatment (I certainly tried when I was young).
To all my Mom friends, regardless to if you are a biological Mom, a Sister, an Aunt or a Friend. I wish for you the kind of day you want.
For me, I will give thanks for the opportunity to be Emily & Annie's Mom. I will give thanks for others that I may have mothered in some way. I will give thanks for my Mom, Aunts, Sister, Grandmothers, Cousins, and the friends that have touched my lives, and have been here for me.
Love to you all~

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day for us Americans.

I am Blessed. I am a Mother and I am also a Daughter.

I want people to understand something though about Mother's Day. I researched it a little before starting this blog post. I found nothing that I wanted to use. No quotes, no poems, no information about it's origin or it's purpose. I was slightly disappointed. Maybe it is me that has it wrong, but, let me tell you what I think, then you can decide.

I completely agree that Mother's Day, we should remember and honor our Moms, Step-Mothers and Grandmothers. But while I searched the web for what I wanted to use in my post, left many women out.

I have a Mom that loves me very much. She did the best she could. She had many difficult roads to travel in raising me and my sister, but she did good. The best she could. I love her and appreciate her. I learned much from her and attribute many of my better qualities from her.

BUT...

She did not raise me along. I was also so Blessed to have other women Mother me. These women looked after me, advised me, encouraged me and helped me in ways I could never truly express how much I am grateful for.

Grandma Kitty~ had me every summer from 12-17. I learned so much from her and a part of her spirit will always be with me.

Aunt Linda~ was cool. Taught me how I could be cool, and myself. She shared her most prized possessions. Her Horse Diamond, then her son Tulley. She was the first pregnant person I knew that let me touch her moving belly. Explained the beauty of pregnancy and that it would be worth those difficult discomforts to have a loving child myself.

Aunt Shari~ another cool Aunt. Introduced me to music in the seventies. Got me my first album (Three Dog Night) and smoked the ever so cool "Eve" cigarettes with the flowers on them.

Aunt Nancy~ taught me about loyalty; family in a way I wasn't as familiar with; and opened her home and heart to me always. She remembered my birthday every year for 45 years. She now suffers from Alzheimer's and no longer remembers.

Pat M.~ My Camp Fire Leader. I loved this women so much and grateful she brought out the artistic and creative side of me. She believed in me and brought me self- esteem.

Barb B.~ My baby-sitter and friends Mom. She taught me so much about raising children, multitasking and organization skills.

Sandy R.~ Best Friends Mom and loved me unconditionally (although sometimes I worried her). Sandy taught me to the importance of being Lady-like, respectful and taught me a thing or two about cooking!

Chris B.~ First "older" friend. I babysat for her children and she took me under. Lived across the street growing up and helped me "understand" and was a wonderful sounding board.

Judy S.~ First Boyfriends Mom. She was wonderful to me. She also taught me about finer things in life and to expect the best. She taught me to go for it and not cut myself short.

I could go on and on...

I also believe that my daughters have truly been Blessed with women in their lives that are Mothering figures to them.

Sheri~ Godmother, Bestie to Mom. She has been with these girls since BEFORE they were born. She talked to my tummy. She was their first visitor. She has been such a part of them they have her DNA, I swear! Don't know how, but I do believe they do. She has been with them every step of their lives. And still is. She loves them as her own and I happily share them with her.

Deb~ Another Bestie to Mom. Also a part of their lives forever. Although we live in different states and they don't get to see each other as much. My daughters know that Aunt Deb loves them completely.

Aunt Julie~ My girls are crazy for Aunt Julie. They like to share girlie things with her and loved playing board games with her. They always look forward to her Birthday cards with Julies creative artsy writings and doodles. She always worked hard to get them things they liked and share interest with them.

Aunt Delia~Always taught the girls about the finer things in life, taught them about their heritage and has loving interest in them.

Laura M.~ Annie's Journalism teacher. Gave Annie confidence and encouragement. Made her work hard to achieve greatness. Gave Annie reason to be proud of her accomplishments in Yearbook.

Again, I could go on and on.

We open our hearts to women that love us and encourage us. I pray that I have also inspired and given to others as well. You don't have to be my biological mother, step mother or even related to get a Happy Mothers Day from me. I am grateful to them all.

I love You Moms!

Pity Party

As graduation is approaching I am reminded of my daughters and that I am between Graduations for my daughters. Emily was the class of 2007. Andrea will be the class of 2009. I know several wonderful kids of the class of 2008, and am sure that we will be attending many Grad Parties.

My advice to the parents, especially the Mom's, is to enjoy this summer with your young adult. Be proud of their accomplishments, and be prepared for their next journey into adulthood.

As fall came round following Emily's graduation, we excitedly sent her off to the dorm life at Ball State University. I wasn't sure how I would handle that. Saying goodbye, and not have her at the house for the next several months. I was surprised at how calm and truly happy I was for her. We prepared her (and myself) well. She is self efficient and very capable. She was so ready to start this new adventure of her life. Also, with the help of today's technology, I happily heard from her almost daily via email, texting or cell phone.

To celebrate, I invited several other Mom's over for "A Pity Party". Margaritas, wine, and snacks. An opportunity to congratulate each other on this important next step our "children" were making. Some chose college, some went straight into jobs. Regardless, they had graduated and were on there way.

We reminisced, we laughed and even cried a few tears. How proud we all are of these young women and men. Our babies had grown up.

So Momma's of the Class of 2008, celebrate! You did your job, and deserve that Margarita!