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Showing posts with label estate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label estate. Show all posts

Sunday, July 18, 2010

It All Amounts To ...Not Much

I just completed two long, hot, tiring days of an Estate Sale. I am talking 90+ degrees baking sun, with my Uncle, a couple of Cousins, Husband, and a couple of friends. My Husband & Cousin's Husband joined us day two, so day one, I was the "most able-body", (My Uncle & friend, both had multiple heart surgeries, knee surgeries, as well as other health issues, oh, and they are up there in the sixties & seventies also). One Cousin is a scrappy, tiny, seventy-six year woman who certainly can pull her weight... but she weighs maybe 90? The other Cousin is 13 years younger than I, but ridden with health issues, and unable to lift things). So, I got a work out. Very thankful day two Sergio & Bradley's muscles were at hand!

To take a couple's household of 50th years, and reduce it to an "Estate Sale", is heart wrenching. Sure, several items were already "inherited" out and some stuff was thrown away, but think about the contents of your home.... then imagine it lining up your drive way and garage being sold pennies for the dollar.

My Aunt & Uncle hoarded alot of stuff. They recorded EVERYTHING and had these records on hand, just in case ever needed. My Aunt kept every card, letter and notes. Her postie notes from her office job, graduation & wedding announcements, even from friends granddaughters and sons. My Uncle had paperwork, notes and receipts for just about everything in the home and then some. We found their dog Sam's little sweaters and leases ( Sam died about thirty years ago when they lived in another state).

My Aunt & Uncled bought the higher quality stuff, paid big bucks, but it lasted forever. To sell a $1000 treadmill for $30, a $2000 bedroom suite for $200, and a $300 painting for $20 is crazy, but what else can you do? The economy is bad, ebay & Craigslist is time consuming and no guarantees (let along we had hundreds of items). We were forced to take what we could so that money could go toward my Aunts care, as well as empty the home so it could get on the market. Some of the things are truly treasures and difficult to see go for next to nothing. Some didn't find new homes. Goodwill will hopefully find homes for these items. Some items made their way to our trunks as we just could not throw away. I couldn't watch this hair dryer go to the trash. It was a little beauty I had to keep. My Bestie, Sheri used these forever. I am hoping she will give it a good home. I worked hard at getting the best prices for their things. I am grateful that my Cousins, the Daughters, were not here to watch this transpire. It was heart breaking enough for us, I can only imagine watching people take the pieces of my parents life little by little.
On a happier note, It was lovely to see, particularly young families, excited about getting the deals. To see people happy about their finds. I would like to think that this stuff will continue to get good use.
The house has been updated, and is just about ready to go on the market. It's tough. The whole process has been difficult. It is an eye opener. Makes me want to "be prepared". I don't want my daughters to be in a position to have to go through all of this ordeal.
It is really an strange feeling. To see that a lifetime of a person's "stuff" amounts to not much at all in the end. I guess, the important lesson here was, enjoy what you have and make the best of it. Get rid of what you don't need or use. Pass things on to your loved ones while you still have the chance... or they just might end up in the wrong hand.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The End of A Lifetime

Over the past few months I have been consumed by the death of my Uncle and care of my Aunt. I have a dozen Posting to write and a slue of thoughts swimming in my head. I want to express my feelings, yet,I must be respectful and careful on those I tread upon. Many lives have been affected. Many secrets unleashed.

One of the task at hand, settling affairs and handling of the estate.

This is a huge task.

This isn't always handled properly.

I think that most families, particularly families that are not ... close, have many "chiefs" that have their own idea of what is best.

There is also the problem of "no will", or at least, "no will that will see the light of day and hidden from family so that things will be done the way a "chief" wants them done".

I am not saying this was done in my family.... I am just saying it can & does happen in some families.

My head is spinning, my heart is breaking. I have seen a side to people I never knew existed.

So, for the record... if I die, maybe you can witness this, if my will is not found.

How I want my Estate to be handled:
  • My spouse, if alive, and has his faculties, makes the choices first. What he says goes. If I really wanted you to have something, he will know, or he will make it happen. If he questions it, move on.
  • Second in line, who should have that opportunity to go through my things, and have closure, my daughters. Both of them, together, at the same time. If they do not get along, they need to get over it. At least while getting my affairs together. Their husbands & children need to stay out of it too. Let Emily & Annie make decisions. Without the influence of others.
  • Third in line, my Sister. Not my Sister In Laws, not my Brother In Laws. My Sister~ Julie. She has an extremely good head on her shoulders & she is the person that can make the good decisions and get things to move forward.
  • My parents would be next. But, if they would outlive me, I am sure they would be very emotional and want to keep my trash. Don't let them. help them to get their closure and get out.
  • Nieces, nephews, cousin, In Laws, friend of families, the Fix It Man, everyone else, don't even think about it! The above people will let you know if they have something I wanted you to have, or something they thought you would want. Otherwise, you can have first run at the stuff that will be sold or given away. It is not a free for all. If there is an Estate Sale or such, there is a reason. Money may be needed for care of spouse, or divided up for my daughters.

Estate sales are not only taxing and tiring, they are emotional. It's hard to part with "stuff". It's hard to give something away at a fraction of it's value. Tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff, evaporating into pennies. Stuff that is dated does not go for top dollar unless it goes into the vintage - antique category. That really cool lamp made with marbles, or the very expensive sleeper-sofa that weighs a ton is junk now. Just because you love it doesn't mean a buyer will.

Feelings will be hurt. And skeletons will come out. It's an end of a lifetime. Do your family a favor and have things prepared.

Now, I must get that will updated! You never know!