the toothpaste lesson

Many years ago, my daughter, Emily, had a lovely 3rd grade teacher, named Mrs. Snoddy. She was a favorite of ours. You see, she was one of those rare teachers that taught more than textbook education. She taught life lessons and virtues. She left a lasting impression on us all and I am so grateful she touched our lives.

So back to the Toothpaste Lesson.

There seem to be a problem with some of the children getting along. Some hurtful things were said and Mrs. Snoddy had enough. She announced that each child was to bring a tube of toothpaste to class the next day. Didn't have to be new, or a certain type or size. Just bring it to class the following day.

My daughter, along with her classmates were anxious to see what new experiment Mrs. Snoddy had up her sleeves. They always had impromptu experiments, and lessons. She always had that touch of excitement and enchantment in the classroom.

So the following day, she put wax paper down on the desktops and told the children, they were to squirt out some toothpaste.

Some of the children immediately started squirting out the paste into mountains. While others cautiously would let out just a tiny bit. A few, actually asked her, "How much are we to squirt?". Mrs. Snoddy, answered with, "That is your decision."

The teacher walked about the class examining the children's "work".

Finally she said, "Okay Class, now put it back into the tubes."

Well, you can imagine the looks on their faces. Many tried, desperately attempting to figure out a way to reverse what had been expelled.

None we successful at retrieving ALL the paste back into the tube.

Mrs. Snoddy had their attention.

She explained that much like this tube of toothpaste, are our mouths with words. Once you let it out, it's very difficult to take it back.

She said, "The next time, you are angry, or grumpy, gossipy, or even playfully teasing, think about this tube of toothpaste on your desk. Think about how once you save something harsh or negative, you can't take it back." Remeber, it is your decission. Choose your words wisely."

I am pretty sure, my daughter wasn't the only one that remembers this lesson.

Bravo, Mrs. Snoddy.!

Hopefully, Emily will remember these lessons to pass on to her classrooms to come. Your lessons were the best!

Do You Remember Me?

With my job, I pull people's information from a huge data base. I usually am pulling birth and death dates as well as current address'.
Every now and then, I run across someone I once knew. It makes me think about them and other "lost" people of my life.
How are they now?
Who are they now?
What are they now?

I do think of people from my past. I remember so many people that touched my life.
Good and bad.
Do they remember me?
Do they wonder what happened to me?
Does anyone care?

I want to reach out through the years as well as the miles.

I wrote a letter to my High School counselor, thanking him for being kind and for caring for me during the four years I knew him. I haven't sent it. Yet.

I want to know if the childhood friend that climbed trees and caught lightening bugs with me, remembers me. She was my first "girlfriend". She meant the world to me at just 5 years old.

Does my first Crush ever wonder about me? How about the boy that got my first kiss? I was his first kiss too. Does he wonder what ever happened to me?

What about the boy that beat me up everyday after school for two years? What became of him? Does he worry a bully will hurt his children? Or the kids that sat by on the bus and watched me get punched? Did they ever become compassionate?

How about those BFF's in Junior High School? The first boy to ask me to skate at a Skating party during "couples only". Oh My Gosh, what about the recipients from Spin The Bottle? Or my girlfriends from the Slumber parties? We shared so many secrets, so many dreams.

The terrible teacher that ridiculed me and told me she hoped I liked McDonalds, because that is all I would ever amount. What would she think of me and how far I have gone? Partly because of her cruelty.

Whatever happen to the high school teacher that saw something in me and gave me encouragement and praise? Is he retired now? What a Blessing he was and how he challenged me to be more.

My high school classmates. Yes, I am blessed to be close to several still. I have my Besties and buddies. But the other friends. The pair of siblings that walked with me every day to and from summer school. My friends from christian youth groups and my friends from Texas summers, do they ever wonder about me?

The crazy kids I worked my first job with. Phone solicitation. Yeah, you can imagine: 15 years old, scared to death, but having the time of my life begging people to buy tickets to a circus that supported burn victims. My boss weighed about 400 pounds and never got out of his chair. Did he ever lose that weight? Is he still living? He was so scary mean.

My college friends. What happened to my roommates? I would love to find them! How and why did we ever lose touch? I cherish the one college buddy that has remained a Lifer Bestie. She is amazing and I love her. But what about the others we hung and lived with? Where are they today?

My first apartment Roommate. What is she up to? How is she doing? Does she wonder about me?

Co-workers I adored, and even those I loathe. Where are they?

My "Kids" from the Deaf School. All grown up now. Same with my Damar (Special needs) Kids. My kids from Preschool classes, Sunday School classes, Girl Scouts, after school care, confirmation and other friends of my daughters. I can't believe how many we have already lost touch with. All of them are adults now.

Do any of these people ever try to get in touch with me? Do they want to? Would they remember me? Do they care?

I would be so honored to hear from a blast from the past. BUT only if it was positive. I don't need drama nor do I want to hear negative.

I am thinking about trying to reach out to a few. Particularly the old Roommates and a co-worker that I adored. They may think I am nuts. But, I kindof am. They probably remember that part about me!

Self-Esteem

Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but names will never harm me

Do you remember this? Often said in my childhood.

Said by me.

I remember...
...saying it when teased about my lisp.
...saying it when teased about being too skinny.
...saying it when teased that my Dad was Frankenstein.

Self-esteem is defined as the following: good opinion of oneself; self-confidence.

Have you ever witnessed someone strip a child of self-esteem? Have you ever been a victim?

When I was child, I had several situations where the very person that should be building up my self-esteem, instead, stripped me of it.

I vividly remember an incident when I was only 6 years old. I was in first grade. We were in the classroom, working on writing our letters with pencils. A boy sitting next to me, took my pencil out of my hand, to use himself. I asked him to give it back. He ignored me. I asked again. This time, the teacher appeared behind me. Instead of asking what was going on, she went on a rampage to the class about how I forgot the rules of talking in class. She scooped me up and dragged me to the front of the classroom. She announced to the class that I was BAD, forgetting this rule. She begin to shake me by the armpits, with my legs dangling in the air below. This bizarre teacher announced that I would have to sit in time out until I cried out,

"help, help! I am caught in the mouse trap without any cheese!"

(A strange discipline that she often used with us when in trouble.) The room erupted in laughter at what happened next. Apparently, when dressing that morning, I put my big sisters panties on instead of my own. They were now around my ankles from being shook so hard. I sat in the "mouse trap" time out for the entire day, including lunch.

When I was in seventh grade, I had a Reading teacher, that constantly got irritated with my lisp. (By 7th grade, I was already in my 8th year of speech classes). She wouldn't just correct me when I mispronounced words, she repeated it first the way I said it, which made the class snicker. By embarrassing me, I guess she felt I would try harder to get it correct. One day, as I tried to pronounce a word correctly after she made the point that I again said it incorrectly. She got this evil smile across her face and asked me out of the blue,

"Do you like McDonalds, Janis?".
I asked, her "what?"
She repeated, louder and slower, "I SAID, DOO YOUU LIKE MCDONNALDSS, JANIS!"
Softly, and embarrassed, now as the class look on for what was next, I answered, "no."
She said, "why not?".
I said, "I hate onions, they put onions on the hamburgers there."
She then said with a laugh, "well, you better grow to like them! you gonna be working there at McDonald's when you grow up, because nobody will hire you the way you talk, Girl!"

The class laughter burned through me. One friend teared up for me as I stood there stunned.

It is because of these moments and others, that I wanted to make a difference in children's lives. To be extra kind. To always show appreciation, and to praise them. The growing years are so crucial. From experience I know how important it is to help a child feel important, have self-worth and to be invincible.

Today as an adult I still struggle with self-esteem. I see what I do wrong more than what I do right. I constantly beat myself up. Sometimes. I will run into a bully even at 46. I can't believe I can still let it get to me. I always think of what I should have done and said later, kicking myself for allowing myself to be a victim.

The little nursery rhyme above came to mind last night as I allowed someone to bully me. I almost sang it. I think if she goes there again, I just might. Better than letting her words get the best of me!

Or maybe I will just smile, and let it roll!