...and The Beat Goes On

The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding
A rhythm to the brain
La de da de da, la de da de da.

One of my major stress' is our economic situation particularly the GM Bankruptcy Issue. For those of you that know me, understand this well. My husbands first love is the

United Auto Workers

I chose to gladly share him. I knew early on that this was very important to him. Luckily I agreed much with the UAW way of life prior to being involved with it. I had the opportunity to really see what was in store for me when Sergio and I dated. I listened well to the few wives that remained with their Union men that were rarely home, ridden with overworking, over-stressing, and the temper and sense of "fight" that these men live and breathe.

Sergio is a fighter. Ask anyone. The Brothers in his union know he has their back. He will help, he will listen, he will fight for what is fair. He will make sure that workers are treated fair and that they will be respected. He is one of the smartest men I know. He is also the hardest working man I know.

These past couple of years, particularly the past few weeks, I have feared mostly for him. Fear of a heart attack. This man is carrying the world on his shoulders. You may think I am exaggerating, after all he is an International United Auto Workers Region 3 Representitive, not Ron Gettelfinger, President of UAW. But, as Mr Gettelfinger would tell you, Sergio is the UAW. It is men like him that make it run smooth. This financial crisis has been coming for some time, due mostly in part because of the government decisions (Unfair trade agreements, failure to enact national health care and deregulation of financial market, for example).
However~
As President Obama discussed in his speech today, "things will get better. We will make the necessary sacrifices so that our children will once again have a nation to be proud of".
My struggles, along with my family and UAW friends, will continue. I understand that it will get worse for some of us before it can get better. I will do my best to keep my chin up, have faith and sing the Ant Song when necessary. I will not let it get the best of me.

I must let the beat go on.

Capivating Fear

As I sat in the dentist chair, I shivered. Tightly gripping my cell phone in one hand, and Annie's ipod in the other. I completely trust my Dentist and her staff. However, I have had a few mishaps in the dentist chair before and the thought of them sawing and drilling the broken crown out of my mouth put a fear into me. Apparently I had a faulty crown with a hairline crack. It happens. No charge to me, other than the anxiety attack , discomfort and time spend replacing it.

For the next two and a half hours, I cranked up the music, shut my eyes and opened my mouth. Xanax was my friend as it took the edge off. Uncomfortable, scared, but no pain. I have a temporary and get the real McCoy June 18th.

Than is one form of my fears.

I also have fears that I can not control such as finances, job security and economy.

I have the parental fear that my daughters will not need me anymore, or worse, they WILL need me in ways never imagined.

I have fears that involve medical situations.

I have the fear of the unknown. The things to come or not to come.

How will I get through? What is to come? Will I survive as usual? Or will I crash?

Life doesn't come with a manual or instructions.

I dig in, do my best, pray, hope and dream.

I have my posse. Family, Besties, even ordinary people that have a genuine care for me.

With so much on my plate for the next few weeks, I am going to have to hold back another anxiety attack that is biting my ankles. I just don't have the time or patience. So, pray for me, think of me and watch my back...please.