And So it Goes...

2012

It has been an eventful year for many. Especially me.

2012 has been rather life changing for me.
 

I lost my Mom,

 

became my Dad's care-giver.

 

I turned 50.

 

Almost lost my marriage, but instead strengthened it.

 

Had one Daughter not only graduate from college, but land her dream job.

 

While the other got the chance of a lifetime, studying abroad and catching dreams.

 Strengthened some friendships and family ties as well.

We have had some health scares. And we have had financial hic-cups.
The weather has been strange, down right crazy.
The World's current events have been terrifying with our own USA crime unbelievable.
The lack of respect and responsibility has been embarrassing.

 

Made some pretty major decisions. And started seeing things differently.

Through all this year, one thing is certain.  I have become a much stronger woman.  I have found my voice.  I think I have come to understand that regardless to what happens in my life, I have the power to stand... to take what God has put before me and to figure it out. 
I use to think that everything that happened was a part of God's plan... I don't so much anymore.  I do believe that He has planned my life and given me the opportunity to live life to its fullest. However... I do not find Him responsible for the evil and bad things that happen in our lives.  He helps us through the storms, and helps us from sinking.  He puts things in our paths to help us find the solid ground or even sometimes a floatation to get us to that solid ground. 
This I know.  God Loves Me.
As I pray I am doing what I should and it is good enough.
I have come to realize...I am enough.

I have caught my breath and I am ready for what 2013 has in store.  There are so many exciting things looming around the corner. I am thrilled to take on this year.  I am sure there will continue to be mountains to climb and valleys to cross, but, I'm good.
I got this.

 

exhale

The soothing satisfaction of being able to exhale. 
I was uptight, nervous, and short of breath. As Christmas was looming I was fretting.  Would this Holiday be as disastrous as Thanksgiving?  Was I going to be a tearful emotional mess again? Or was I going to be okay this Holiday?


With prayer, I woke with a gentle warmth in my heart and a strength in my soul. I was okay with this Holiday.

The day flowed with funny mishaps but no pain.

I burnt the ham... I burnt the corn.... I burnt the rolls. Seriously? Who does that?  I NEVER burn things. But my sweet Family laughed with me and ate it.

Dad had a spike in his blood sugar.  A very high spike... But with insulin we got him back to normal.



jan annie sheri 12.25.12

Later in the evening Annie & I talked Sheri into going to a movie. Parental Guidance. Sweet little funny movie.  I spilled two not just one over sized Diet Cokes on myself at two different times.  Before giving myself a hard time over this... I will say that three other folks in the theater did also so I totally blame the flimsy over sized cups not the user. Hanging with Annie & Sheri was such a wonderful thing.  We laughed. A lot.  Annie's snort laugh.  Sheri's squeal with tears. And my gasping guffaw.

The weather held back. Giving us a warm day perfect for transporting Dad to my house. Waiting to bring us the beautiful snow the next morning. We got a beautiful display of white blanket, along with wicked winds.  The snow photograph at the top of the post, is of a snow overhang from our roof.  So pretty.

My Mom was all around me this Christmas. 


sis mom me...a few years back

It was not sad.  It was not manic. It was her sweetness. Her softer side.  The fun... the love. 

I was able to enjoy this Christmas.. and that is huge.

I miss my Mom.  I miss the good times, not the manic. 

But, it's all good.  I'm able to breathe, I'm able to exhale.

Taking a Breath

The past few weeks are swirling by. I never seem to find the time to sit down and write anymore. I run 24/7 and when I do stop, my head crashes into the pillow and I sleep.
I have had some wonderful breaks, time spent with the Hubby, my Girls, and my Dear Besties. But as for reading and writing time... I have not been able to make that happen.

 Having a week off from work will free up some 50 hours. I requested 3 books from the library. That will give me some serenity. I have a few appointments to take my Dad and some paperwork, phone work and leg work with Dad's business. That will keep me busy. My Hubby needs me to assist in a few things. Check.. got that covered.  My youngest daughter will be home from College for Thanksgiving Break as of Wednesday.. {yay Baby Girl time!} I look forward to catching up with her as she has been such a busy little Bee. Thanksgiving is here! Oh boy... I will have 6 - 16 for dinner Thursday. While frustrating to not have an exact count, such is family plans. I am just Blessed to keep busy as this is the first holiday since Mom's death.  Not only do I need to keep steady for myself but I want Dad to be okay through it.  Christmas shopping will start as well as Birthday shopping for my oldest {can she really be turning 24?}. I am finally getting well from a strange skin and eye infection.  Another week and I may be able to wear contacts and makeup for the first time in ...well, too long.  I'm making an appointment for my Pommie, Dakota to get a haircut as well as I have made an appointment for myself to rid myself of my long straight graying hair, trading in this Church Lady look for something with a little kick and style.  I am needing a little pick me up and a fresh look will help.  I also have a little big something else up my sleeve that I am not ready to spill out, it's a good thing, but a private thing.  Nonetheless... keeping me very very busy as well.

I have taken some steps back from social media lately.  It gets so overwhelmingly full of negativity. I "aint got no time for that".  Nor the energy. Also, with Deer Season in full swing here in Indy... this Bambi loving Gal really does not want to see everyone's kill shots, gutting shots, and glory shots.
No thank you...

Another sad note... I haven't had as much time for reading my favorite blogs.  Yesterday, I stole a few morning moments with a cup of Joe, and dived into blog reading.  TWO of my favorite reads have gone private!  :(  These two extraordinary Gals have such a knack for making me smile and enjoy the reads.  I must email them asap to get invited into the groups.  They are two of my favorites and I so hope to get back in as I have been following for far too many years to go cold turkey without my doses of laughter with them.

I want to write some more letters!  I started this "hobby" recently and the joy of receiving them back is absolutely delicious!  Also brings me such a smile thinking of friends receiving a letter the old fashion way, from me.

I spent a wonderful weekend with my two best friends. I want to write a post on it, but will leave you with this picture for now.  I must say, it was just what the Doctor ordered for me.  It was simply Divine!

Deb, Jan, Sher Besties 2012
 

Today I am 50

Fifty

The big 5-0

Half a century.

that is...

600 months...

2,400 weeks...

18,250 days...

crap.

that's a whole lot of time.

a whole lot of living.

so... today is my birthday.  I have mixed emotions.  

I have been almost looking forward to it.  I feel mature enough to be 50.  So with anticipation, I was ready to start "this" chapter of my life.

My forties had some great moments, wonderful events, and happy memories.

My forties also took a toll on me.  I never expected the depression, anxieties or the let down I experienced.

I have recovered from the "set back" years and ready to move forward.  I have healed and learned to grow from experiences.  I have become not only wiser but stronger and better.

bring it on Baby! Hello 50.

The one thing I absolutely wasn't prepared for was losing my mom right before my big birthday.  This obviously, is the first birthday without Mom.  No call, no birthday card or visit.  

No Mom...

On a sweeter note, my family surprised me greatly with a birthday party last weekend.

I had NO CLUE.  I was so surprised I was scared.  I have never been surprised.  I mean really surprised. I am that person that figures things out way before.  This was truly a first.  Maybe with age I am slipping.

My Babies pulled this off.

With the help of Hubby.

 Blessed with great friends...

great family...

 

great weather...

great cooking ...

and great toasting...

I know that this is the start of a wonderful chapter♥

Sliver

December 20th 1986

Grow Old along with Me... the Best is yet to Be...

Robert Downing

So, Twenty-five years ago today, Sergio and I made the big commitment. 

25 years... that is half my life! I have been with him longer than without him.  I have legally been a Gonzalez longer than a Meyer.

I have been wanting to share "the story" for quite a while, as to how we "meet".  It is an interesting one that isn't one many could imagine for me.  But, that will have to wait.. (tee hee~ sorry, but to do it justice I need more than a few minutes to tell and today I just do not have the time). I promise with the coming of two weeks off for Christmas break, I will make the time and post it soon.

For today, there is no big celebration.  Hubby is just outside of town in meetings. I am getting ready myself to hustle into work. We barely saw each other this morning and I will be leaving before he arrives. We knew getting married around Christmas may be difficult to "celebrate" as most do for Anniversaries, however we are not like most people. I don't need a party to show our love. Showing our love by gifts and parties isn't our style.  Rather, showing it to those closest to us, in how we have survived the storms, how we stand by each other, and in how we live day by day.

I admit, sometimes when I see friends made a big fuss... I may feel a tug..maybe even some jealousy. But, then again, if I wanted to be fussed over, I would have picked a different man to marry!  My Hubby is not a showy person. I know he loves me, I know he believes in our marriage.  We took it seriously 25 years ago and still hold those vows close to our hearts.

I look around, and see many marriages that have failed.  I think it takes so much to keep a marriage strong.  I may seem lucky, but it has been a lot of hard work.  It hasn't exactly been a bed of roses every day.  There have been moments where Sergio or myself thought about throwing in the towel.  But we didn't.  We worked through the tough times. 

I have been Blessed.  But because of a lot of work, love and prayers.

and by the way... I still get GIDDY when I see my Hubby♥

...49

This stared at me the other night at the concert.  The chair in front of me. Ironically, not only was it the number  of my own chair, but the number my age is...today.

forty-nine

Will I be old next year?  Am I old now?  I guess that depends on who you ask.

I do believe you are as old as you feel and act...to a point. I feel pretty much the same person I was 35 years ago. However... my body doesn't physically feel the same...that's for sure. I have more aches and pains than I ever imagined.  BUT... I am healthier than many.

me @ 2 yrs

Reflecting can be interesting, I seem to dwell on a lot of the past. But, I am getting much better at embracing what the future has to bring. Seeing how I can bloom in my surroundings and grow...even at nearly half a century old.

Today has been grand.

what's up w/ my hair?

I enjoyed my Hubby and a big breakfast.  (had to share my Birthday w/Father's Day.. Not the first, not the last time).

again w/ the hair?

  And I loved getting time with my sweet Daughters.  I was thrilled by an early morning Thunderstorm ( love the rolling rumble, especially when it rattles the house).  

I got this wonderful hand painted wine glass from Annie.

it says, "I Love My Pets", so true

Annie & I enjoyed Starbucks & Antiquing (where I found a fabulous Green Depression Glass Princess Cracker Jar.. at a fair price).

We had a wonderful cook out~ Chicken, Brauts (pork & turkey for Em {Baby~ I'm so sorry you got a pork one by mistake... I promise it won't kill you}, roasted corn on the cob, fresh Green Beans, Rice & Red Beans, saluted mushrooms, and Red Velvet Cake. yummmmmmmmmmmm

Hubby also got the official photograph from meeting President Obama in May from the White House staff.

He looks pretty proud (and easy on the eyes too Hottie Hubby!) You have to know my Hubby... he rarely will smile for the camera... And this is a priceless moment where I see his smile.

President Barrack Obama & Sergio Gonzalez 5/6/2011

Not to shabby! Sergio said he was just lovely to chat with (okay...he did not say lovely...more like very interesting, personable and extremely respectful).

I got about a hundred birthday wishes... Thanks to the social network of Facebook, as well as email and the telly.  I picked out the sewing machine I am getting from the Girls & Hubby.  And look forward to a get together with a Bestie next weekend.

I am sitting outside, enjoying the evening breeze. Got Riley by my side & crazy Izzy playing in the grass.  Hubby is on the phone with business.  Emily is back in Muncie now and Miss Annie is off to watch movies with her girlfriend.  The birds are chirping, and there is this wonderful peaceful feeling.

This Birthday tops them all so far.  Nothing major, but... I am learning it is more about the minors. The peaceful, loving, simple minors.

♥Life is good♥

America & Poco With Two Favorite Men

Last night I had a wonderful evening with two of my favorite men.  My Darling Hubby, Sergio.  And My Dear Bestie, Richie.

We went to Anderson Indiana, Hoosier Park Casino & Racetrack to the Outdoor Stage to see Poco & America perform.  The last time I saw America in concert...May 1982.  A few years ago, and ironically, I saw them with Sergio's sister, in Daytona Beach Florida.

The weather was perfect. It was a clear day, a perfect temperature with a light breeze kissing us. We bought the cheap seats...and got invited to move up as the concert was not a sold out (love it when you get seats worth twice what you paid!)

Poco played first... remember the song "Crazy Love"?

It happens all the time
This crazy love of mine
Wrapped around my heart
Refusing to unwind
Ooh-ooh, crazy love, ah...

If you don't remember this, then you were not an American teenage girl in 1976 .

Ohh the memories of us singing this song... and with tears!

Rich & I were into singing the lyrics this evening.

We may have embarrassed Sergio a bit.

Finally, America begins...

The acoustics were perfect!

They sounded AWESOME!

How old are they now?

Dang...not a scratchy voice among them.

Daisy Jane... Sister Golden Hair... Ventura Highway... Don't Cross the River... You can do Magic... (hey, they didn't play a favorite~ Horse with No Name)

Poor Sergio...

We knew all the words to all the songs. Hubby isn't a singer. Rich & I aren't really either, but we are equally bad so we didn't care.

Rich also entertained us with his dance moves.

He rocked it. As always.

I watched instead of danced. That might have been too much for Hubby, had I danced.

I am so glad Rich talked Sergio into this.  It was a lovely fun evening.  We also ate a little, and played a few slot machines on the way out.  Win a little, lose a little.

All in all, a great night out. Well needed for Hubby & I. And always a pleasure to have my amazing friend Rich with us.

Sleeping In on Lazy Mornings

I love going back to bed, sleeping in late.
For years, I had that internal clock that made me wake up everyday at 5:45am. Sleeping in late back then was 8am.  I always got up before everyone else in the family. Had my morning coffee in peace, then woke the family accordingly to schedules (school, work, whatever).
But things change.
The Babies went to college and no longer had me as their alarm clock.
Hubby's schedule changed as well, and his sleep habits did too.
Me? Well, a couple things changed me. 1~The medication I take for depression, allows me to sleep better than ever before. 2~ get laid off and not be needed to wake early and slowly your internal alarm clock starts changing.

Now, I wake when Hubby does, let the dogs out, then return to bed (with the dogs) and cuddle.
The above picture, with all three dogs and one cat, has me wedged under the covers as well.

It is complete bliss to sleep in for another hour. So relaxing and sweet.

I think it makes for a better day too.  I have that little extra boost, when I have the extra hour.

Now with the new job.  My sleeping in will continue.  I won't be getting home till after midnight, and after shower & all, bedtime is more like 1am.  So,  hello bed.  hello morning sunshine with your warm kisses.
I love this sleeping in business.  I don't think it's lazy at all. Just lucky.

Quondam Tuesday ~ Naps~

Random napping shots.

My inspiration for Naps

Emily

Annie

Emily

Chase (friend)

Emily & Grandma Kitty

Annie & Chase

Sergio & Emily

Annie, Sergio & Emily

Bruno & Riley

Emily & Richie

Sergio, Annie & Emily

Mischa

Lucy & April

Annie & Emily

Annie & Riley

I have more... I didn't even post my favorites. But I have too many up as is so I will stop now.
Kind of makes you want to take a little nap doesn't it?