Sliver

December 20th 1986

Grow Old along with Me... the Best is yet to Be...

Robert Downing

So, Twenty-five years ago today, Sergio and I made the big commitment. 

25 years... that is half my life! I have been with him longer than without him.  I have legally been a Gonzalez longer than a Meyer.

I have been wanting to share "the story" for quite a while, as to how we "meet".  It is an interesting one that isn't one many could imagine for me.  But, that will have to wait.. (tee hee~ sorry, but to do it justice I need more than a few minutes to tell and today I just do not have the time). I promise with the coming of two weeks off for Christmas break, I will make the time and post it soon.

For today, there is no big celebration.  Hubby is just outside of town in meetings. I am getting ready myself to hustle into work. We barely saw each other this morning and I will be leaving before he arrives. We knew getting married around Christmas may be difficult to "celebrate" as most do for Anniversaries, however we are not like most people. I don't need a party to show our love. Showing our love by gifts and parties isn't our style.  Rather, showing it to those closest to us, in how we have survived the storms, how we stand by each other, and in how we live day by day.

I admit, sometimes when I see friends made a big fuss... I may feel a tug..maybe even some jealousy. But, then again, if I wanted to be fussed over, I would have picked a different man to marry!  My Hubby is not a showy person. I know he loves me, I know he believes in our marriage.  We took it seriously 25 years ago and still hold those vows close to our hearts.

I look around, and see many marriages that have failed.  I think it takes so much to keep a marriage strong.  I may seem lucky, but it has been a lot of hard work.  It hasn't exactly been a bed of roses every day.  There have been moments where Sergio or myself thought about throwing in the towel.  But we didn't.  We worked through the tough times. 

I have been Blessed.  But because of a lot of work, love and prayers.

and by the way... I still get GIDDY when I see my Hubby♥

Forever In Love

The other day as I rushed through a walk on a work break, I saw the sweetest sight.

A couple, well into their 70's. holding hands, laughing as they walked & talked downtown. I could see the love luminate around them. I wondered how long have they been in love?

That is what I hope for Sergio and I.

Years ago, while visiting my Grandparents, I witnessed true love. They were in the middle of a silly argument. I sat there across from them sipping on my coffee, waiting for them to decide who was correct. It was an argument about something unimportant, and Grandpa keep saying, "but Honey, you are wrong...", then in the middle of the argument, my Grandma, noticed something on his face, and tenderly wiped it off, and saying something about you got a little something on you, he asked, "Oh..did you get it?" they switched gears, talked about, what the heck that was and they completely forgot about the argument. They even kissed after she wiped his face.

I said, "that is so what I want for Sergio & I". They looked confused, I said you forgot about who was right or wrong and switched to caring for each other so quickly. Your love for each other is so sweet. I love you for always showing me it is okay to have little spats but to remember whats important.
We laughed and and discussed marriage, expectations and my Grandpa said how happy he was that Sergio & I found each other. He told me how proud he was of me. How grateful he was that I had a man that loved me so much, and he truly felt that I already had "it" with Sergio.

This was one of my final conversations before his death. It makes me so happy to have this memory.

To have a marriage that is give and take, 100% on both sides, and to truly be full of love is a Blessing that I hold very dear.

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be"... robert browning

The Greener Pastures

You know how the saying goes:

"The Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

I hope you also realize that it isn't "always" true.

Your neighbor may seem to have it all but you don't know what pains she goes through. Your friend with the perfect marriage? No marriage is perfect, there has to be some lows to appreciate the highs. The co-worker with the fabulous figure? Who knows what is really going on there.

You may always want to be better, stronger, richer, smarter, or safer. But, is it really so bad where you are? What can you do to improve your own? Let others motivate you, but never be envious.

Another saying I admire is:

"Be careful of what you wish for, it just might come true."

23 Years of Bliss

December 20th 1986
Has it really been 23 years?
Sometimes I feel Sergio has been a part of me forever. And sometimes I think it seems only yesterday we had our first date.

I love this photo of my father walking me down the aisle. It looks as though I am having second thoughts. What the hell am I doing? I don't remember thinking it, but Phil, my Photographer, caught the expression.

I know you are thinking, "Boy, those eighties! There are some fine looking people in this photo."


Sergio & I were so young. I was 24 and Sergio 28. (Are you digging my big hair or Sergio's styling mullet?) When we meet, neither of us were looking. I think that is what made things flow so well. We were not trying to impress, we were just being ourselves. (And we still fell in Love!)
We have had our shares of ups and downs. I feel you can not appreciate the mountains without some valleys. We have had moments of joy as well as moments of sorrow.
I believe that marriage takes 150% from both spouses. It is hard work. There is nothing easy about living with the same person for the rest of your life. There are times when, truth be known, you don't even "like" each other~ BUT you can still love that person that you are not exactly liking at the moment! Weighing it out, BEFORE getting married is a good ideal. Making sure that you are both in it for the long haul, and having God along with you can be helpful!
I know that sometimes things happen beyond our control, and great marriages can become spoiled or broken. I know that we have been extremely Blessed, as we have weathered some tough storms, but nothing we could not handle together.
I am forever grateful, as I think I got very lucky. I got a wonderful husband that I am so glad to spend the rest of my life with.

The Wedding Wall is Back

For many years at the New Palestine home I had a lovely Wedding Wall in my Dining Room. Today, I recreated it in our new home.

What do you think?

Sergio & I are in the center. Grandparents Texas above us. Sergio's parents to the left, Mine to the right. Our siblings on both sides.

I love it.

It makes me smile. It also makes everyone else smile. That's a whole lot of marriage on the wall.

It is also a wonderful conversation piece during family holiday gatherings!

Secret # 13 on Successful Marriages

Back in October, I posted "Secrets to A Successful Marriage". Time to add to the list, therefore here is Secret # 13!

What may look like a jar of marbles to you is much more to another.

Here is how the story goes:
Once there was a young couple that was in love. The woman saw her husband slip a penny into a box under the bed. This was shortly after they had made love. She asked what was up with the pennies. He smiled and said he had been sticking pennies in the box since they first made love. That he had heard that if you save a penny for each time you make love the first year, it will take a lifetime to empty the box removing (taking one each time) them following that first year. He wanted to prove the theory wrong.

Of course she adored it! But she also wanted to change it up a bit for their own tradition. They traded the pennies for marbles and keep them in a glass jar (They look prettier). Instead of removing marbles, they just keep adding them!
Isn't that sweet!
Little things like this I believe keep magic in a marriage.

Happy Anniversary to Sergio & I

22 Years! We have been married for 22 years today. Highs and lows, ups and downs, it has been a wonderful adventure.

How did I get so Blessed to have this incredible man?

It is interesting how two people meet and fall in love. For Sergio & I our paths almost crossed many times prior, but for some reason, we didn't actually met till the timing was right. His sister was one of my best friends in High School. My sister was friends with Sergio. We are four years apart. Had we met sooner, we probably would not have ended up together. When we did meet, neither of us were "looking" for a serious relationship. Our friendship grew into more, and we saw each other through genuine eyes, never were either of us trying to impress.
Sergio & I had our first date June 9th, 1985. He proposed a year later.

We chose a Christmas wedding, out of practicality. Both our employments had shut downs for two weeks over the holidays, so that worked for us. Also, we had plans to return to snow skiing for a week following Christmas so.. instant honeymoon. We actually took the trip with our dear friends, so Brian & Mary went on our honeymoon with us!

Our marriage has been Blessed. Many times over. We have two amazing daughters. We have had great jobs, beautiful homes, security, as well as many other blessings.
I can truly say, that I love Sergio more today, than that evening I walked down the aisle. I didn't think that would be possible, but it is. I still get butterflies when I see him. I still think he is the sexiest man in the room. I still get giddy thinking about him. I know I am lucky. I know he is too.

Marriage isn't easy. It takes alot of work. It also takes alot of prayers and help from God. We are very fortunate that we found each other. I could not have had this with another man. There was a time or two, when I thought I had the right person, but thankfully, I found out before marriage. It would have been difficult to have found out later. I would have tried to salvage a marriage not worth saving. I have witnessed many friends have difficult marriages, and do more than they should have to make things work. Some have been strong and smart enough to know when it was time to move on. Some have not. I can not imagine being in a loveless marriage.

For me, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with my husband. I can not wait to see what the future has in store for us.

Secrets To A Sucessful Marriage

I have gotten alot of advice on how to have a good marriage. From people who have never been married to people that have had more than 50 years of matrimony. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has advice. I believe there are no secrets just common sense and understanding.

Here are some things to consider:

1. Never Settle. Do not get married to someone that you can not see yourself with forever. Marrying someone because you don't want to be lonely, do not think someone better will come along, or out of convenience is a very bad ideal. Don't Do It!

2. Give 110%. It is not 50/50. That is only putting half of what you have into something. You have to give 100%, preferable more.

3. Be Nice. You must treat your spouse as you would want to be treated. Being mean never solves anything, it breaks things.

4. Be Respectful. The person you chose to marry should have your utmost respect.

5. Be Playful. Don't get into a routine and get boring. Do silly things, romantic things. And don't forget to smile!

6. Compromise. Learn to "enjoy" what your spouse enjoys. Or at least, support it.

7. Compliment each other. Hearing it from your spouse is way better than the stranger.

8. Be Faithful. Trust is everything in a marriage. Once broken, it's very difficult to get it back.

9. Never go to bed mad at each other. Settle things, talk about it, after cooling off. If you shut down, it won't go away.

10. Pray for your marriage. Without God, you don't have a "prayer"!

11. Have sex, ALOT! You gotta use it so you don't lose it. Making love with the one you love will keep you connected. Again, save this only for each other.

12. Say, "I Love You", and mean it. Say it everyday, as often as possible.

A Night Out

Sergio & I had a lovely night out last Monday. We went to the Make A Wish Evening with The Colts. We were UAW Region 3 guest. As usual, great company and great food.

I felt beautiful in a borrowed dress from Ms Sheri, who is wonderful about keeping me in the right attire. (Somehow I felt prettier than I looked).

When they started the 'Live" bidding, I listened to Dallas Clark tell us all how we needed to dig deep into our pockets, about how each "Wish" cost about $6,000, and he wanted someone to start the night off right with a $6,000 wish right now. About that time, I stopped paying attention and noticed a tickle where my bangs were brushing into my eye.

I made a fatal mistake.

I raised my hand to brush my bangs.

OOOPS!

Dallas points to me, says we have a WISH GRANTED! Thank you for your generosity! Please raise your bid card so we can see your number.

I froze.

Again he ask to see the bid card. I want to turn and ask Sergio what to do. I am frozen except for my heart which is beating like a scared rabbit.

Then out of the corner of my eye I see Mo stand (Sergio's boss sitting two seats from me), I hear his voice & turn as he is waving his bid card and tearing up about the Make A Wish Foundation.

I am so relieved! Dallas was talking to Mo not me!

I sat on my hands for the rest of the night.

Etiquette Lives On

We recently went to this charming couple's wedding. I have known the bride Brittany her whole life and I am so happy she found Grant. I have never been to a more beautiful wedding. They were focused on God's love and kept that the main focus of their vows.

The wedding was simple and elegant. The reception was also. Everything was very beautiful and felt right. Brittany & Grant were surrounded by family and friends and everyone was so happy.

They have a wonderful opportunity to have long and happy marriage. I pray that my daughters will one day find this same kind of love. Brittany has always been such a strong role model for my daughters. We will always love her dearly. Now, we will love her handsome husband, Grant as well.

Today I got this Thank You in the mail. I was so impressed. It was very personal. Brit handmade them and I love that she included the photo. Emily Post would be very pleased! Brittany's Momma taught her well.

Happily Ever After 49 plus Years

August 8th was my parents 49th Wedding Anniversary. Can you imagine? I can, I have witnessed it.

Now, honestly, was it "Happily Ever After?". Well, Yes and No.

Too many people have false perceptions of what that means. The whole Happily ever after part. I am a firm believer that it should be more, "Happily As You Make It". Nothing is a given. It's up to you to make things wonderful. God Blesses you with a mind as well as a heart and it is up to us to use them both wisely.

My folks are remarkable. They have both separately as well as jointly had more on their plates than most. It is how they choose to handle it. Sometimes it will tear at them, but mostly it makes them stronger. They have taught me much and to toughen up and turn something around to make it work is at the top of the list.

My marriage is Blessed. I got lucky. But, it certainly isn't wonderful 24/7. We work very hard at it. It never magically becomes perfect. You work together, giving and taking to find that perfect, (or close to perfect) fit.

I think great couples come when you are not looking for them. My folks meet on a blind date (my Dad was in the Navy, Mom was in high school). My sister and her first love reconnected after many years and miles apart. Sergio and I were both at points in our lives that we certainly were not looking for a spouse. We became great friends first.

So for now, I am glad that my Mom went on that blind date. She stepped in when her girlfriend couldn't go. I knew she had no clue this is what would become of her and that cute Navy guy named Tom.