Guardian Angels

Do you believe in Angels?
Do you believe in Guardian Angels?
I do.
There have been too many times in my past were I have actually met someone and later realize that that person was an angel. People that are sent to me for a specific reason of protecting me or helping me to make a wiser choice.

Many of my loved ones know that I had a real guardian Angel that turned my world around 12 years ago teaching me how to eat and changed my habits. "Carol" was introduced to me by my Doctor (he swears he does not remember giving me her name nor knows of her. This was just six months after I had started going to her.) I would meet with her at a medical office. I never had to sign in, just waited for her to come and get me. Then we would go down to her office and she took care of me. I thought she was a Dietitian. But, after our sessions, and me seeing her for six months, we parted ways. I was concerned about my insurance never paying her. I tried to call her, but the number that I had used for six months, no longer was the right number. I went to the Medical office, and they too acted as though she never worked there or that they had even heard of her. They didn't remember me and I went there every week, then down to every other, till we were finished and I had meet my weight goals. I was dumbfounded. Then I realized she was an Angel.

Last night, Annie went to her boyfriends after work. He lives kindof out there. Deer country. Country roads. I had an uneasy feeling all evening. I texted her, and she didn't text me back. Sometimes the reception is bad there and the wind was really blowing. She finally texted us at midnight to tell us she was on her way home. I was completely restless and anxious. I had been praying all evening for her. I sat up waiting for her in the living room. I continued to pray. I started to relax although she was taking much longer than usual. She finally pulled in the driveway. I thanked God. She told me this "stupid slow old Man, was driving in front of her all the way home. He wasn't going more than 40 mph and she couldn't pass him. He was going the same route she goes, all the way home!" I told her I had such an uneasy feeling and that I that I thought maybe that guy was put there in front of her for a reason. She sat down and totally agreed. She said that made sense to her because he came from no where then turned every turn she had to make.
He watched over my Baby and kept her from driving too fast.

Yeah, I believe.

Eating Disorders

I don't look like this anymore. These photo's were taken 12 years ago. I have put on a few pounds since. At the time, my weight was about 102. I am 5'8" tall. It was a difficult task keeping myself above 100 pounds.

I never choose to look this thin. My dream weight was 120-130.

I have always been thin. It is in my genes. At my cousin's wedding, a comment was made that we all looked remarkably alike, at least in our physique. Tall skinny girls.

My "eating problem" was something that was always there. It was not one of those things where I wanted to look thin. I was not Anorexic, Bulimic,or a Binger. I just did not eat.

Ten years ago, I went for my yearly Pap and exam. I asked my doctor to take a look at a patch of skin at my tailbone area. It had a rough texture and was a darken color. I will never forget the look on his face. He looked me straight in the face and said, "I thought that you loved your daughters." I said, "Of course I do! Why would you ask me that?". He said, "Then why on earth are you starving yourself? That patch is where your tailbone is rubbing the inside of your flesh, you have zero body fat, and if you do not change your eating habits, you will soon have a hole in your back. How will you be able to care for them when you are not caring for yourself?"

He gave me the name of a Dietitian and sent me on my way.

She was my angel. I credit her with helping me become healthy.

She never belittled me. She had a gift of making me understand. She helped me condition myself and learn to eat.

She once said it so clearly: A commercial is on, there is a woman enjoying a bowl of ice cream. 98% of the people watching that commercial think about food, how good it looks or makes them think of something they would rather eat. I fall into the category of the 2% people that watch that same commercial & wonder; How would I look with that hair style? She nailed it! That is so me.

I had to learn to schedule eating. And eat a minimum of 2000 calories a day. (Did you know a Taco Salad, shell and all, from Taco Bell is 1000 calories?). I also ate alot of shakes with Ensure added.

I had to get past my food issues.
*stop thinking about this meat was once an animal!
*DON'T watch the fast food people! Don't even look at them.
*don't watch ANYONE eat
*stop getting so grossed out!
etc...

My Dietitian gave me a goal. Baby steps are good. Training myself at a slow pace was working. Before I knew it, I was there. I then had to weigh in daily to make sure I stayed within my range.

I am not perfect. I am healthier today, with my weight anyway. I still have to stop sometimes and remind myself to eat. I am fine with the family routine, but with my daughter away or Sergio out of town, I slip.

I am not alone. One of my Besties struggles as well. We share many food issues. We would both be content eating appetizers for the rest of our lives.

For the record, I now weigh 130 pounds. I like this new weight. Although I really need a new wardrobe. Toning would be smart too. At least I know to eat now.