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When I was a Realtor, I learned to be a wonderful Chameleon. I could make myself appear to be just about anyone you wanted and needed me to be. I learned quickly what to say & more important, what not to say. I worked with people of many different backgrounds and learned how to fit in and be trusted. I also worked for a marketing company that used chameleon in the company name. (Which I found to be very genuine & creative). There it was so appropriate as every client had a different need from us.
Have you seen Julia Roberts in THE RUNAWAY BRIDE? Her character Maggie, can't seem to decide who she is and mirrors whatever her fiance's wants and needs are. Even something simple like how she prefers her eggs..., that depends on which fiancee she is with. As she nears each wedding, she bolts unable to commit and then starts over, having the new fiance's wants.
Sometimes, I feel like a combination of the two.
I hate to admit, that just about everything I choose, I think first is this what Hubby wants too? Food, entertainment, plans... I am the wife that will sacrifice to make him happy.
I find that I do that with my daughters as well. Friends? Family? even strangers? Check, Check, & Check. It's what I do. And I do this honestly and lovingly. I'm 48 and my whole life I have tried to please others and make things better for them, even if it cost me comfort.
Please don't misunderstand. I have made choices to get me where I am and who I am. It's just, if others are involved, I tend to try and be considered of what they want first.
I'm not complaining. What concerns me is, I wonder if I am starting to lose who I am? What I want and need. Things that were very important to me, that are no longer a part of me. I sometimes seem to follow the lead so well, I don't seem to be able to choose for myself.
I don't know... kind of rambling here.
I will be light & cheerful again with the next post. Just a bit morose today.
