A Ticking Clock

I know we usually take this time to reflect back and take a good look at the past year.  It's New Year's Eve... that is what we do. 
These are the highlights & low points of the year...
Here is what I plan to do to improve the coming year, my New Years Resolutions...
Well, forget that.
I typically do my "New Year's Resolutions" on my Birthday in June.  I also prefer to keep it private.
Yes.. I do look back at 2011... the high's and low's, but the past is the past.  Can't change what has happened.  Had some really sad moments and some really glad ones too.

Today, I look forward to the future.  2012. What will we see? What will we do? What changes will we endure that are miniscule only effecting us personally.  And what huge changes that will make modifications for us all?

I have big plans for the coming year.

• I will be starting college classes... something I haven't done since the eighties.

• I will have a daughter graduating from college. And another that will be going abroad.

• I am turning 50... 50 years old... how odd is that in my head? I have plans for this old body to start being treated better so that it will serve me better. I will not take aging lightly. I will embrace it only if we cooperate.

• I plan on having a better financial year.  After the beating and change of the past couple years, we are facing the ole financial struggle and we will not let it get the best of us. We are stronger, we are smarter.

• I am going to have fun.  That's right, damn it, I am going to enjoy this year.  I am going to have belly laughs and turn frowns into smiles.

Life is full of surprises.
No one really knows what will happen.
The clock is ticking...
I need to start enjoying this life that God has chosen for me and stop trying to change the plan.  I do believe that my life was planned before I was even born. So I must trust, and appreciate what it is.  Only then can I truly get it.

Sour Patch 21 yr Old Kids

My daughters and I love PINTEREST.  I got addicted first and then introduced my girls to this wonderful world of pining on social bulletin boards. It is a grand waste of time, but also a wonderful resource to crafts, DIYs, ideals, recipes, clothing, party planning, websites, photography, the list goes on and on.
A few of the "gifts" I gave my daughters, came from Pinterest ideals. The Baby, {mind you she just turned 21 recently}, used a pinterest ideal with a twist this evening.
And these items together...

Citrus Vodka & Sour Patch Candy

And you get this....

She let them soak in... drained them... and they are Sour Patch Candies for the over 21 crowd.

Currently being munched on as she and friends watch the Indiana University basketball team get killed by Michigan State in a big Ten game.  I am about to be a DD, and take them to Broad Ripple (the fun place to be late at night if you are between 21-31. {Okay, even the 50 yr olds love Broad Ripple but we don't hang with the younger crowd there}.

So strange... I knew these kids when they first loved Sour Patch candies. BUT without the alcohol.  I have known these particular friends of hers since they were in Elementary school.  Now, with Christmas Break, and they are all back together from their different colleges, they are catching up and still enjoying friendships.

Well, I think they are ready for me to chauffeur them. 

I'm REALLY a Writer!

I have been writing my whole life.
From a little girl with Diaries, to my dear Blog.  I have written newsletters, proof for marketing writers, and have always loved writing letters.
For me the words flow better on paper than through my lips.  I can't always say what I mean unless I am writing it.  On print, the thoughts come out, uninterrupted and more how I mean to say what I mean.

I am a reader.  I escaped to storybooks as soon as I could read.  The library was my friend.  Everything about the massive old buildings with the hundreds of books enticed me. I loved every minute spent in the library.  I still do.

I know a few real writers.
I have blogged recently about one of them.  My High School Club Sister, Sherri Wood Emmons  and her two wonderful novels ("Prayers & Lies", and "The Sometimes Daughter"). Her second one is about to be release to the general public and I do not doubt that it will be just as successful if  not more so.

A few months back, Sherri asked me to send her a review of some favorite books.  I gladly did, and to my surprise, she connected me with "Just Women", magazine, and submitted my reviews.  They wanted to use them and printed in their Fall issue a full page!  I can not tell you how honored and thrilled I am!  And I actually got paid for it!!!

 So totally cool!  I feel very proud and validated. I know it's something small to many, but it is HUGE to me.  Sherri truly has made me feel wonderful and I am so grateful.
To my dear Bloggland friend Linda (over at Over The Fence) is it this wonderful every time you write in your column? How exhilarating!

Have a Blessed Christmas

May you all be Blessed with good health, good friends, good love, and happiness.
xoxo

POKER FACE

I have always been a very expressional person.  My face is very much a window into what I am thinking.  If I try to tell a lie... You will know it.  If I do not approve of something, oh you so can tell by my expression.

Working with Deaf people I am becoming aware of the need for a Poker Face.  When I am talking to my "kids"... sometimes they can play me and read me too well.  If only I could put a Poker Face on... 

Had a little confrontation the other day.  What started as a chat between two of my teens that were not getting along turned into a tense situation...  They saw FEAR in my Face. If only I could have showed "no fear" perhaps I could have gotten a handle on things better.  {BTW~ It wasn't that bad, just the first time I saw such negativity between a couple of Dears.  I was a bit afraid one of them was going to get physical, which they did not.}

So anyway... I am trying to learn how to control my facial expressions.  It is so important in conversation.
My Deaf friends can read me like a well known book.  They can tell when I am not feeling well, when I am sensitive,  when I am confused, and when I am pissed.  My Deaf friends are way more in-tune with my emotions than my Hearing friends.
Another thing... I notice little things that we do so differently that are rather crucial.  They can be taken the wrong way if not understood that we have these differences.  Such as, looking away... the next time you are talking to someone that is hearing, pay attention to how often you or the person you are speaking to looks away..  we do it all the time, and think nothing of it.
I will be talking & explaining something, and I am not looking at the person I am talking to but rather the space just beyond them. 
When speaking to someone that is Deaf, it is proper to look them directly in the face. I use to watch their hands, to see what they are saying.  But I have been corrected and now know that looking at them directly into their face, you still see what they are saying with their hands .
My immerse into the Deaf Culture has been so wonderful.  I am learning so much, not only about this Culture, but about myself.

So excited to start my ASL classes (thanks to our partnership with Vincennes University).  They will begin in January.  I do believe that this will help me not just with my signing but with expressions, my understanding and maybe, just maybe, I will learn to use a Poker Face!

Sliver

December 20th 1986

Grow Old along with Me... the Best is yet to Be...

Robert Downing

So, Twenty-five years ago today, Sergio and I made the big commitment. 

25 years... that is half my life! I have been with him longer than without him.  I have legally been a Gonzalez longer than a Meyer.

I have been wanting to share "the story" for quite a while, as to how we "meet".  It is an interesting one that isn't one many could imagine for me.  But, that will have to wait.. (tee hee~ sorry, but to do it justice I need more than a few minutes to tell and today I just do not have the time). I promise with the coming of two weeks off for Christmas break, I will make the time and post it soon.

For today, there is no big celebration.  Hubby is just outside of town in meetings. I am getting ready myself to hustle into work. We barely saw each other this morning and I will be leaving before he arrives. We knew getting married around Christmas may be difficult to "celebrate" as most do for Anniversaries, however we are not like most people. I don't need a party to show our love. Showing our love by gifts and parties isn't our style.  Rather, showing it to those closest to us, in how we have survived the storms, how we stand by each other, and in how we live day by day.

I admit, sometimes when I see friends made a big fuss... I may feel a tug..maybe even some jealousy. But, then again, if I wanted to be fussed over, I would have picked a different man to marry!  My Hubby is not a showy person. I know he loves me, I know he believes in our marriage.  We took it seriously 25 years ago and still hold those vows close to our hearts.

I look around, and see many marriages that have failed.  I think it takes so much to keep a marriage strong.  I may seem lucky, but it has been a lot of hard work.  It hasn't exactly been a bed of roses every day.  There have been moments where Sergio or myself thought about throwing in the towel.  But we didn't.  We worked through the tough times. 

I have been Blessed.  But because of a lot of work, love and prayers.

and by the way... I still get GIDDY when I see my Hubby♥

she is grown up

My first born daughter has turned 23 today.

Time has flown. 
Wasn't she just entering college, nervous yet giddy with excitement yesterday?
Wasn't she a cheerleader full of high school drama needing my advice yesterday?
Wasn't she full of enthusiasm as she was entering Middle School, which was such a big deal because this was NOT a Catholic school which meant no more uniforms?
Wasn't she that Smiley girl that everyone loved (and she loved each and everyone back) in Catholic Elementary school? Where she and Michelle had silly adventures underneath blanketed forts, and made their edible "creations" and performed at the talent shows, just yesterday?
Wasn't she that precious Pre-schooler that refused to give up her binkie...until she trader it for her Little Minnie Mouse training wheeled bike.. yesterday?
...and wasn't it just yesterday when I gave birth to this precious perfect daughter, that showed me I had so much love to give and to receive?

Today, she lives in a nice condo with two friends (from high school).  She is finished with her classes at Ball State. She is about to start her Student Teaching in a busy 1st grade class.  She will graduate following this assignment and hopefully be hired in a school she will love. She has a tall handsome boyfriend that makes her smile.

I could not be more proud of the young woman she has become.  She is strong, smart, beautiful, kind, creative and loving.

Happy Birthday Emily♥
I love you to the moon and back.

I love her.  She is pretty darn awesome.

Rest My Dear Rocky

My Sweet Rocky has passed away.
He Blessed us with 18 of his 19-20 years. Back in 1995 I had rescued a frail kitten, named Mario, and nursing it back to health, while also tending our two older cats, Baby and Eastwood. We also had a couple of dogs and my girls were in grade school.  Add the 2 kids I baby-sat, and a Hubby... I had a houseful!
On Halloween night, Rocky, whom had been a stray for a while in the neighborhood, was a target for some naughty boys that lived next door. My Hubby, decided he'd let Rocky stay...just for Halloween in our garage for safe keeping.  Rocky was very grateful. His muscular build with large scarred jaws, curled up on a blanket, purring loudly, showing his thanks for the bowl of kitty chow & water.
I really did not think we would keep him.  He was a big ole Tom Cat! Nothing like my "housecats". He had a little "cat house" shelter on the porch. We did not let him in. I had just sold our home and didn't need the ciaos of cats becoming territorial.  However, during the home inspection, the new buyers let him in... where my dogs & existing cats had a hay-day destoring the house in an hours time!
Even so, the day we moved, I dropped Rocky & Mario off to be neutered and "spend the night" at the Vet while we got settled into the new home. The next day they joined us and found their niche and the peaking order fell into place.

The Boys sharing a snooze

He and Mario became known as, "The Boys".  They slept together, played and pretty much were always found together. 

Rocky was laid back.  He was a sweet cat. He stayed out of sight, out of the way often.  Only as he got older did he prefer to be around people more.
He had a very protective side.  When Hubby worked long hours, Rocky would perch himself by a window... growing (like a dog) at people that walked too close to our home. He was my Watch Cat. Always alerting the dogs BEFORE someone actually approached the door.

He never complained. Never tore anything up or missed the liter box.  Even on his last days, he manage to find the liter box.
His vision failed almost a year ago, followed by loss of hearing and arthritis. He always just adapted... never fusing or complaining.

The past couple of weeks have been touchy. He started a strange cry that we have never heard. But as soon as we touched him, he'd give his sweet, "Murr".  It was as if he got confused...lost. And as soon as we would get him, he'd murr and purr.  He slept a lot. He ate a lot (spoiled with canned kitten chow as it was rich in protein and easy to eat). Yesterday, he had trouble eating... then couldn't get comfortable and rest. He throw up, hard. This either twisted his tummy, intestines, or my Veterinarian, suggest it may have triggered another stroke. Rocks struggled... He couldn't straighten or walk. He quickly grew labored, and showed pain or stress. We made that difficult drive to our Vet, holding and loving him to the end. My Dear Vet, is truly a man that loves animals. He spoke so softly to my old Kitty, reminding him of funner times and spoke of his dear Buddy Mario (whom past several years ago).

It is so awful to lose a pet. They are so generous and love us so unconditionally. They live such short but impacted lives. They touch us and can teach us so much.
Even my Lovies that are with me for the shortest time, I wouldn't trade those moments and memories for anything♥

♪Don't Give Up on Me Baby♫

Gosh it has almost been 2 weeks since I last posted.  I actually have a couple of incomplete drafts but so much is going on and my mood has been iffy.

Since I last wrote:

• I went on a wonderful trip with my Deaf School Students; 
• had a grand surprise of publication; 
• visited my Mom; 
• got together with my Sis; 
• had some work drama;
• talked to my Dad; 
• taught one of my ISD Girls to write a blog; 
• daughter came home for holidays; 
• precious Cat passed away; 

and a bunch of other STUFF. So I have a lot to tell you... I am just very behind.

I am going to try to work on these drafts and post them today.

AT LEAST ONE!
Love you all and hope you don't give up on me.
I'll Be Back!

Christmas Cards

Today is December 3rd. We have received 4 Christmas cards.
FOUR...
I remember not so long ago, December 1st was the date many of my friends as well as myself, sent out our cards.  So, in many past years, by the third, I would have received at least a dozen.  I run a bit behind myself. For most years past, we took a picture of the girls on Thanksgiving that would be made into our cards. It became our sweet little tradition that we enjoyed as much as my family & friends that appreciated seeing the girls grow up.

Some of my favorites...

...and last years...

my Goodness, they have grown up!

But, this year... was the one I have been dreading, as far as "the picture time".

E~ "Mom... we don't want to do a picture this year."

my head~ whatttttttttttttt?

me~ ohh, well, uhm okay, but why?

E~ "It's just, well, we grew up, it's weird now."

my head~ noooooooooooooo! It's not about you guys...its's about the family & friends that love you & never see you. It's bout Dad & I being so proud about you, and want to show you off!!!

me~ "ohh, okay, are you sure?  You know these pictures mean so much to alot of folks".

E~ laughing..." no, Mom, it's you that they mean alot to. How about you let me take a picture of the Dogs to send. Everyone loves seeing the Dogs just as much."

my head~ YES! It means alot to me! Do it for ME!!!

Me~ "Okay Sweetie. I guess so"

Here is this years winning picture cards.

She did a great job with Riley's picture.  Riley looks just as excited about the picture taking as the girls.

I am sad that so many people stopped doing cards.  I too have made cuts.  I now send about a forth of what I use to send, but I still send a lot.
Especially to those I love but just haven't had the opportunity to see or even contact.  I love my family and friends.
I love getting the cards. Especially the ones with the pictures and the silly letters.  I LIKE that too much info that some complain about.
I must be signing off now.  I need to address my cards (yes I do that by hand too).

Feel free to send me your Christmas cards! I will appreciate them♥