Never Enough

I am very hard on myself, and often feel that I am not enough.


Not smart enough;

Not strong enough;

Not happy enough;

Not pretty enough;

Not healthy enough;

Not content enough;

Not thankful enough;

Not grounded enough;

Not careful enough;

Not willful enough;

Not competent enough;

Not thankful enough;

And

Not good enough.


Self-esteem issues. I know. I am working on them. Sometimes I go about feeling my best is enough. But sometimes, often, I don't.


I pray about it. I seek counsel. I write and I have coping skills to help.


Sometimes, it isn't enough.


The overwhelming feeling can creep up building slowly, and sometimes just kick me in the behind so fast I certainly didn't see it coming.


It has a grasp on me some days. A strong grasp. The fight within is wearing me down.


I just want to go back to bed.


I know, I know, this will pass. I am good enough really. I have to remember I am like the little engine that thought he could. Just keep working it till I can convince myself .


Maybe one day I will feel it...