Monday, May 16, 2011

Butterflies at 100 Miles per Minute

I am  very excited and very stressed all wrapped up in one. It has been a week of difficult situations, with some bittersweet moments thrown in.
On one hand everything looks lovely and on the other frightful.

My weekend on the other hand was pure bliss (except for my oral trauma that is still much pain). I enjoyed my daughters & my Hubby. We ate out a lot, did some shopping and enjoyed the beautiful weather on Saturday. We laughed a lot, and had great conversations. One of those rare weekends where everyone was happy at the same time.

I have been unemployed for 26 weeks now. That's six months... Hard to fathom.  We have managed, but it has been tight. I scrimp where I can and have managed to continue to help the girls with college expenses as well as a mountain of "unexpected" bumps.  I have been so discouraged. I pump out several applications per week. Can you imagine how unwanted one feels, email after email, with the, thank you BUT... It makes me crazy! I hadn't even gotten an interview.  Well, that isn't exactly true... I did get a phone interview but that must not have gone as well as I thought, and was cut from the short list.

I did get an opportunity recently and grabbed it with both hands, to get noticed and even a real interview.  I felt good about it...for the most part. The interview was brief and to the point. I had two people asking me questions, and one interpreter ( my interviewers are both Deaf & although I know ASL, having the interpreter was wonderful knowing exactly what is being said). I was told a decision would be made within 2 weeks & I would be notified then.  I sent my Thank You emails for the interview & opportunity, and now I am waiting...
it's day 7.
Don't you hate waiting?
I am so impatient.
What's worse is I want this job so badly.  They need me as much as I need them.
This is a wonderful job for me and I know I can succeed with it.
I once held this very position...twenty-some years ago.  Sometimes, I wish I did not quit, but, I did to raise my children. It was the right thing to do at the time & we are Blessed that I was able to be a Stay At Home Mommy.
But now, here I am.
Many years later...many jobs later.
In all my years, this was THE JOB.
It wasn't a high paying one.
It wasn't an opportunity to grow to higher positions one.
It was a rewarding job.
It was a challenging job.
It was a job where I was able to make a difference, and was able to empower others.

Twenty-some years later, I am in contact with several of the children (now adults) that were in my care.  The kind words they give me about what I was to them make me realize that was my calling. I am such a people person. I need to comfort, to teach, to empower, to love. Children, Adults, Seniors, Animals. I am a lover. My heart is always out there.

Now, as I wait, thoughts swim through my brain. Will I be as good? Will I be as much as an asset?
The wait continues.  I will keep looking and keeping my options open. If this isn't the job, I will find one. Hopefully, one that I can love and be a strong team member until I am ready to retire. 

Fingers crossed...prayers welcomed... lets get good news this week♥


Em said...

I've got my fingers crossed for you lovely.
Em xxxxxx

Vanna said...

Janis, of course you will be as good at that position as you were 20 years ago. That kind of compassion does not just go away, it sticks with you forever and they will definatly be making a mistake not hiring you. I have my fingers crossed and I am saying a little prayer right now for you.

With love,

Vanna and Hercules!

Linda said...

I pray you get it and if not I know that the right opportunity will indeed come along. Things always have a way of working out, even though we don't see it at the time and waiting is indeed very, very difficult. ♥

Hope you have a blessed week, friend.

Ziongirl said...

ALWAYS praying for you!

Mark Pressley said...

fingers crossed