Monday, April 11, 2011

Back in the Saddle Again

(I wish I was referring to a real saddle on a horse. That would definitely cheer me!)

Thank you to all of you that commented prayed and sent positive energy. I indeed felt it. Sometimes my depression gives me a little butt kicking and, well, I felt a whopper last week.  I do have wonderful coping methods to utilize and usually they work, just some days are tougher.

I come from your typical dysfunctional family with scary skeletons in the closets. A long history of depression on both sides as well as suicidal tendencies (more unsuccessful than successful). This family background also packs a lot of love and stories of happily ever afters as well as survival skills. 

Anyway, I feel back on track after a loving weekend and some spiritual growth. A Wedding, a Sister get together, a Daughter for dinner, some great Spouse time, chatting with a Bestie, enjoyment of beautiful weather, some work on the Baby Clothes Project, and some deep talking with God, made for a wonderful weekend.

I may not be perfect. I may never feel the self confidence and worth I should. But I am a fighter. I do know that God, my family and friends all love me very much. Once I start learning to accept, respect and love myself, then I can truly be happy. 

A work in progress... 

I have some challenges to get through this week. But with my head up, eyes wide open, I will face them, and do my best. This too will pass and I will have new challenges to come. How I deal with today's will help me prepare for tomorrow's. 

I am adding a couple of coping skills to my daily routine.  I started an Daily Audio Bible app on my phone. Determined to get through the entire Bible within a year. It's been a while, referring to my favorite scriptures is great but time to rediscover some others.  I am also determined to get healthier. Eating habits as well as excercise.  Is it too late at 48 to start running? I have NEVER been a runner, but I have been thinking about it.. Perfect neighborhood for it. If not, then my bicycle is getting the dust off and I'm replacing the rotted tires. Or maybe for the upcoming Mothers Day / birthday I can get one of these groovy vintage style bikes. Either way, I have 14 months before I turn 50 and I WILL get in shape by then, by Golly!

Well, neglected home is begging me to clean. Time to throw some tunes on. Maybe I will go to Brookie's Cookie Jar  I love her playlist, go check it out!

Love to you All♥


Anonymous said...

It was great seeing you Sis! That was some yummy wine we tasted. Keep your chin up girl. I love you.

Linda said...

Glad to know things are going better, and I can fully relate. Many in my family history with depression and (unfortunately some successful) suicides and I've known for most of my life that I have all the makings of bi-polar among other depressive disorders but have never done anything about it other than simply pray and have likewise been blessed with loving people around me who put up with my moods. For me, I really wouldn't want to be any other way because it is during my great times of sadness, where some of my best writing occurs. That's just how it is for me.

I've tried some running, but hurts my knees too much, so I stick with walking. Been doing the 3 mile walks, several times a week during my workdays, for 3 years now. Hasn't really brought off great amounts of weight, but it's toned me and probably helped me maintain. We each have to find what works for us. I also love riding my bike and have been after Jim that we need to get the shed cleaned out so that I can get my bike ready for the season!

Wishing you all the best.
Love, Linda

Reality Jayne said...

I think we should meet half way for coffee and therapy...I am at the same type place as you, I think...I am tempted sometimes to runaway and hideout, but I too am a survivor...

Bee Lady said...

And I think I should come with RJ! I think as women we all have our difficulties and go through times where we are depressed or down more than other times. I had a very depressing winter. Twas hard.

Cindy Bee

Mark Pressley said...

Cardio cant be beat! Major stress reducer if running does not work for you find something cardio that does.

Breathe On

janis said...

Jewels~ best Sister ever! why didnt we take a picture..I had my camera too darn it. I love you so much♥
Linda~ bi-polar? i know people with this. i wish prayer & love was enough for them.
RJ & Cindy~ tell me when & where & I will be there! Seriously~ I would love to meet ya!


Still sending you warm and fuzzy feelings and lots of healing thoughts coming your way.

God bless you and the family.
Who has a regular normal family?
I don't know any personally.
So know you are not alone.
Yes, running, biking, you'll look great at 50. Go girl.
Blessings, Barb

Ziongirl said...

I love you sweet Janis and I am sending you a hug! We are all a work in progress... and this week I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! ♥