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Thursday, January 6, 2011

puppet strings...

 Have you ever felt like a Marionette?
Strings attached, making you say this and do that? 
Throughout my life, I often felt, I am not much more than a puppet, with something pulling at my strings.
Often I wondered who was I?  Who would I have been, if not for the strings? 
Is this what I want? Or something someone else wanted of me?
Parents, Spouse, Children, Friends, Co-workers, Strangers... It didn't matter who pulled the strings, just that I don't know who I am without them.
Like Pinocchio wanting so to be a real boy, I want to know how to be me.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

such a busy generation

Today I paid respects to a friend's passing of his Father. This Father was 89. He lived an American dream. However, he has missed his dear wife for nearly two years. He was no longer a happy gentleman, but a sad old man. Even though he was surrounded by family that loved him so. Go here A Lovely Catholic Funeral to see the posting I did on his wife's funeral.
Dominic's funeral will be tomorrow. I am sure just as lovely.

His Sister-In-Law, is a woman I have adored for many years. She is elderly, but sharp and charming as ever. She is a good catholic woman. Loving and dear. I was very pleased to see her and have an opportunity to chat with her, this evening. She always has a good story to tell me of my Hubby, who practically grew up in her house. Even with many children, she always welcomed the neighborhood kids. Sergio (Hubby) ate many meals and slept many nights at their home.

Our childhoods were a different time. To us growing up, our days and evenings consisted of playing outside in the sun, rain, or snow. We loved it. Kickball, Ghost in the Graveyard, Hide N Seek. We would have water fights, ride our bikes for miles and hours, build forts, and staying overnight at friends.

Even as we got older and cooler. We hung out together. My neighborhood was full of parents that I listened too same as my own. Hubby too. The parents all looked out for us and were never afraid to tell us when we were screwing up. No one "minded their own business", as to the neighborhood, IT WAS every body's business.

Today's generation, kids are too busy. I rarely see kids playing outside in our kid-friendly neighborhood. Never in a pack as we. Occasions bike riders, roller bladers, or dog walkers, but these kids are plugged into cell phones and music players wrapped in a solo world.

They also seem to be loosing the art of communication.  Sure, I know they have cell phones and gadgets and text all the time. They tweet too much personal information. They post pictures they may regret later. They have over 1,000 friends on Facebook. But, do they still have a real conversation?

Back too my dear elderly friend... while chatting with her, I brought up her grandchildren. She got sad mentioning one of them.  Seems this young woman (she's 20) is very busy. My friend hasn't seen her in such a while. She sent a Christmas card with some money, but hasn't heard from her.... she knows she's busy...just misses her so.  My elderly friend is about 90. Her Grandchildren do not realize how blessed they are to have this bright, funny woman with the best Italy and Indiana stories. I fear it will be too late before they realize it.

Makes me think of my own daughters. They too are so busy. They have been home for three weeks. They have less than one week left before heading back to classes. They have visited with both sets of Grandparents, but once, and briefly. They try to cram lunches and visits with friends, particularly the ones that do not go to the same colleges. However, they spend more time with their BSU friends than anyone else. (In fairness to my oldest, I do appreciate that she does give Hubby & I a lot of her time, and has graced us with her wonderful cooking skills quite a bit. But, she has no intention of setting foot in that retirement home on her own. Meanwhile, the youngest is gone a lot, in fact she is staying with her BSU roommate three hours away now).

I guess my point is, what will the next generation be like? I mean, my parents generation did many things with their parents, my generation did too but outside with them overlooking. My daughters generation continues to get overstimulated with gadgets and over-exposing themselves to everyone except those family members. What will I see with my own Grandchildren one day? I cherish my memories of time spent with my grandparents. Will they care about spending precious time with me?

I really hope so.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

New Year's Eve

Sergio, Jan, Kristy & Bryan
Sergio and I went out New Year's Eve. We met up with a couple of good friends at Champ's Restaurant.
We must be getting old though as we struggled to talk over the Band.
We also didn't make it till midnight... but we started at 8:00.  
Great company , great drinks, and great food.
Ahh, was a great evening.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Letting Go of 2010

As 2010 has ended, and the start of our new year has begin, I reflect on things I had to let go of.  Change is good, even when difficult. I have learned in my years that nothing is set in stone and just when you think you have things down packed and figured out, just when you think you can relax...
things can change.
I have had an interesting year.
I have learned much.  I like to think I have become a stronger person for the events that have transpired over this year. I know that I have gained much.
This year I have had to say goodbye to loved ones.  A few deaths, and a few parting of ways. In losing my Aunt this past November, I was able to spend some very quality visits with her in the months prior to her death.
Her dying taught me to grab those I love, and let them know that I care, that I love them. To make a difference while I have the opportunity, and to never take someone for granted.
I have also learned to let go of a few relationships, that were not in my best interest. I can't change people nor is it my responsibility. After you give your all into a relationship, sometimes it is better to let go and let the person go their way. Their happiness is just as important. If they do not see things the way I do, that is okay. It's their lives not mine. Time to move on.

This year I was Blessed to rekindle some relationships as well. Through my Aunt's death, I strengthened some family relationships and even found a few cousins that I have not had contact with in some time. That is the best gift... to find a loved one.
Amazingly the social network Facebook has brought me some old friends that I have enjoyed immensely getting to know again and see how life has brought them to where they are. Realizing who is important and who cares. Who'd have known? For these "new rekindled" friendships, I am very grateful.  I also have found it wonderful to "catch up" on family that live far. I have the opportunity to follow up and see pictures and feel close to loved ones through this.  As well, as knowing when someone needs an extra prayer. I also have gotten to know a few of my Blogger friends better this year and am so grateful for these precious friendships.

I lost my job this year. Which, although was not a surprise (the position was temporary & my department closing was a known fact going into the job), I am surprised how at ease I am and not fretful in being unemployed.  I continue to search for a job, but have a certain serenity about not working.  I am hoping to at least be accepted into a volunteer program with a local hospital.

My Hubby and daughters are great.  The girls have grown into such lovely women that I could not be more proud of. My Hubby is splendid~ I am truly blessed.

So with that said, I welcome 2011. I look forward to a year full of opportunity. A year that I will give 110% and appreciate every day that God gives me.
Love to you all and Happy 2011♥