September 11th marks more to me than the anniversary of 9/11. First and foremost it will always be my Grandma Kitty's Birthday. I think of her first.
Second, my cousin and her husband worked at the Trade Center. So my concern that tragic day was very personal.
I remember calling Sergio in to the living room and watching it together, holding hands.
Our conversation went like this:
Sergio: Are you sure Janet & Patrick work @ The Trade Center?
Me: Yes, A large accounting firm around the 70th floor.
Sergio: Honey, I am sure they are fine.
Me: Look at it burning!
Sergio: They will get out. We don't even know if they work in that building. I bet they are in the 2nd bldg.
Me: Oh My God! It's collapsing!
Sergio: Janet's not in that bldg.
Then, as you know, the second building collapsed.
It would be hours before I would know their fate. I had to go to the office as I was in charge of our Real Estate Office, with our Broker out of town. There, my friend Carolyn & I held on to each other in fear with the rest of the country. Her son was in the Army stationed in Europe. She was terrified for him. We stayed tuned to the television.
I soon found out that Janet was fine. She had just transferred out of that office weeks earlier. It would be another four hours till we found out about Patrick. Luckily he was on the first floor Starbucks at that fatal moment. He was unable to reach Janet though for several hours to assure her he got out. I can only imagine.
It is so unbelievable how vulnerable we as a country were. How horrific we lost so many lives and not just in one location. Lest we forget the two planes that crashed in the Pentagon and Shanksville.
I agree with Sergio about his thoughts on the memorial site in NY. Rebuild the Trade Center Buildings. Honor those who died showing we can not be torn down.
I pray that we never ever see such tragedy in America again.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Simple Rules
Okay. I try not to be anal. I try not to be controlling. BUT there are some simple RULES OF LIFE everybody should just get. Can we give out instruction manuals? Here is what I am complaining about:
IN PUBLIC:
1. You are not allowed to touch yourself inappropriately. I don't care if you have an "itch". Go to the restroom in do it in private.
2. Stay out of my personal space. Especially if you are a stranger. ARMS LENGTH. Get the hell back!
3. Get off my Ass. That personal space goes for driving too. Don't tailgate me. I am liable to slam on my brakes just because you are pissing me off.
4. You are not ever ever ever allowed to clip your nails in public. To me that is like picking your nose. I don't want to see your clippings flick ever where.
5. Cashiers, please don't flip through my magazine I am purchasing. That isn't for your pleasure. And frankly I am not interested in your opinion about who is on the cover.
6. Parents, take your whining, crying child out of the restaurant. I didn't come out to dinner to hear this. If I could teach manners to my children, you can too. Going to eat is a treat, lets keep it that way for ALL of us.
7. Co-workers, neighbors, & acquaintances. stop gossiping. I don't care nor need to know this information about others. It just makes me wonder what you talk about me to others.
AT HOME:
1. Pick up YOUR stuff. If you put there, you pick it up. We do not have maid service here.
2. Please close the toilet lid. The pets think they can drink from it & there is a cleaner that can make them sick in there.
3. DON'T use my towel.
4. If you can rinse a dish off and set it on the counter, why can't you set it "in" the dishwasher?
5. Empty water bottles go in the trash can, not where ever you finished drinking it.
6. Wipe down the sink when you finish using it.
7. The pets would love for you to feed them & clean the liter box. They think Mom shouldn't always do it.
8. Make your bed!
9. Turn things off when you are done.
10. STAY OFF MY COMPUTER
These are just a few simple rules that Everyone should live by. Got any to add?
IN PUBLIC:
1. You are not allowed to touch yourself inappropriately. I don't care if you have an "itch". Go to the restroom in do it in private.
2. Stay out of my personal space. Especially if you are a stranger. ARMS LENGTH. Get the hell back!
3. Get off my Ass. That personal space goes for driving too. Don't tailgate me. I am liable to slam on my brakes just because you are pissing me off.
4. You are not ever ever ever allowed to clip your nails in public. To me that is like picking your nose. I don't want to see your clippings flick ever where.
5. Cashiers, please don't flip through my magazine I am purchasing. That isn't for your pleasure. And frankly I am not interested in your opinion about who is on the cover.
6. Parents, take your whining, crying child out of the restaurant. I didn't come out to dinner to hear this. If I could teach manners to my children, you can too. Going to eat is a treat, lets keep it that way for ALL of us.
7. Co-workers, neighbors, & acquaintances. stop gossiping. I don't care nor need to know this information about others. It just makes me wonder what you talk about me to others.
AT HOME:
1. Pick up YOUR stuff. If you put there, you pick it up. We do not have maid service here.
2. Please close the toilet lid. The pets think they can drink from it & there is a cleaner that can make them sick in there.
3. DON'T use my towel.
4. If you can rinse a dish off and set it on the counter, why can't you set it "in" the dishwasher?
5. Empty water bottles go in the trash can, not where ever you finished drinking it.
6. Wipe down the sink when you finish using it.
7. The pets would love for you to feed them & clean the liter box. They think Mom shouldn't always do it.
8. Make your bed!
9. Turn things off when you are done.
10. STAY OFF MY COMPUTER
These are just a few simple rules that Everyone should live by. Got any to add?
Suicidal
adj.1. inclined to commit suicide 2. of suicide. 3. self-destructive; rash. from the Pocket Oxford Dictionary
I don't think that is the best definition, but it comes from my dictionary that is always by my side.
Suicidal. Scary word. Familiar word.
I come from a family that has many suicidal attempts, few "succeed". I think suicide is often more of a cry for help not a reach for the end. I guess I feel that way because of the history I know.
Without identifying these family members here is what I have known.
A was so unhappy with her life she sat her daughter in the bathroom with her. Sat up against the door and slit both wrist. The terrified daughter couldn't stop her Mothers bleeding and escaped out the window to get a neighbor's help. She survived.
B was so overwhelmed when she was told that her son was arrested for selling drugs at a grade school, she felt responsible and took a knife and sliced up her pain in her gut. She survived.
C was overwhelmed by her life unraveling. She couldn't take it anymore and overdosed on anxiety medicine. She survived.
D takes the prize. One time, D was so frustrated with his broken body, his broken spirit and his feeling of inadequate. He overdosed big time. But, in an afterthought, he realized his young daughters would find him first. He was able to call 911 before collapsing. Another time, D was frustrated again. This time he tried to hang himself. The shower pole at the motel snapped. A third time D tried the overdosing again, didn't work. Just made him very sick. The last time D attempted. He first made a call to one of his adult daughters. Told her how horrible she was and how much pain she caused everyone. He then told her that she was responsible for anything bad that would happen to him. He then drove his car into a train trusses. he succeeded in only mutilating his body more and causing him more pain. He wife shared the pictures of the bloody car with that daughter during his surgery. He succeeded in hurting the daughter more than he could ever imagine. She knows he didn't mean those words. She knows he was sick. But the words haunt her today.
E Sweet loving E. Always the lost child. Just looking for some love. Tragically it did not come from his parents. The rest of the family could never replace what was missing in his heart. His one and only attempt, left him in his front yard with a terrified wife & son behind a closed door. He shot himself in the chest with a riffle, and bleed to death a horrific death.
I could go on. More family members and friends too. I sadly miss. I wish I could have made things better. I understand.
Suicidal thoughts come easier for some than others.
Visions of cutting into ones wrist. The feel of a gun in hand. The thoughts of how easy to just sharply turning the wheel and crashing your vehicle. Thoughts of mixing bleach and ammonia to that potent mixture.
The feeling of making all the bad go away. Feeling spent.
Luckily, some that do feel this way also feel the joy of love. Have family and friends that show they care as well as say it. Having faith and religion can make a difference.
I do think that often the suicidal is about, "Hey! I need some help here! Not Goodbye cruel world!"
Be good to each other. You never know when someone is hurting deep inside. If you are hurting, sharing your feelings with a loved one is way better than sharing the pain when it's too late.
I don't think that is the best definition, but it comes from my dictionary that is always by my side.
Suicidal. Scary word. Familiar word.
I come from a family that has many suicidal attempts, few "succeed". I think suicide is often more of a cry for help not a reach for the end. I guess I feel that way because of the history I know.
Without identifying these family members here is what I have known.
A was so unhappy with her life she sat her daughter in the bathroom with her. Sat up against the door and slit both wrist. The terrified daughter couldn't stop her Mothers bleeding and escaped out the window to get a neighbor's help. She survived.
B was so overwhelmed when she was told that her son was arrested for selling drugs at a grade school, she felt responsible and took a knife and sliced up her pain in her gut. She survived.
C was overwhelmed by her life unraveling. She couldn't take it anymore and overdosed on anxiety medicine. She survived.
D takes the prize. One time, D was so frustrated with his broken body, his broken spirit and his feeling of inadequate. He overdosed big time. But, in an afterthought, he realized his young daughters would find him first. He was able to call 911 before collapsing. Another time, D was frustrated again. This time he tried to hang himself. The shower pole at the motel snapped. A third time D tried the overdosing again, didn't work. Just made him very sick. The last time D attempted. He first made a call to one of his adult daughters. Told her how horrible she was and how much pain she caused everyone. He then told her that she was responsible for anything bad that would happen to him. He then drove his car into a train trusses. he succeeded in only mutilating his body more and causing him more pain. He wife shared the pictures of the bloody car with that daughter during his surgery. He succeeded in hurting the daughter more than he could ever imagine. She knows he didn't mean those words. She knows he was sick. But the words haunt her today.
E Sweet loving E. Always the lost child. Just looking for some love. Tragically it did not come from his parents. The rest of the family could never replace what was missing in his heart. His one and only attempt, left him in his front yard with a terrified wife & son behind a closed door. He shot himself in the chest with a riffle, and bleed to death a horrific death.
I could go on. More family members and friends too. I sadly miss. I wish I could have made things better. I understand.
Suicidal thoughts come easier for some than others.
Visions of cutting into ones wrist. The feel of a gun in hand. The thoughts of how easy to just sharply turning the wheel and crashing your vehicle. Thoughts of mixing bleach and ammonia to that potent mixture.
The feeling of making all the bad go away. Feeling spent.
Luckily, some that do feel this way also feel the joy of love. Have family and friends that show they care as well as say it. Having faith and religion can make a difference.
I do think that often the suicidal is about, "Hey! I need some help here! Not Goodbye cruel world!"
Be good to each other. You never know when someone is hurting deep inside. If you are hurting, sharing your feelings with a loved one is way better than sharing the pain when it's too late.
Go Baby Girl!
This is my sweet Baby Girl Annie at around 5 years old. Her version of a Princess. Notice she has a little bit of everything going on. The Mouse ears, Ballet leotard, Dalmatian socks, pink heels, denim purse, and a magic wand. Oh, and you can't forget that incredible smile.
Fast forward thirteen years to today.
She just texted me. She made Homecoming Court.
She is thrilled to be on the court. A couple of weeks ago she mentioned several friends trying to get each other to nominate themselves to court. I asked Annie, "what about you?". She said, "I would love to be on court! But not because I had to tell everyone to nominate and vote for me. I would rather get it without trying to sell myself."
She is at the top of her game. She is a Senior. She is turning 18 next month. She is on the Golf Team. The Tennis Team. She is VP in Student Council. Editor of the Yearbook. SADD. She is applying to colleges.
I hope she wins Homecoming Princess. She deserves the crown. But it is wonderful knowing that even if she doesn't win, she is honored to be a part of it.
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