Merry Christmas

Wishing you a joyful Christmas as we celebrate together the birth of our redeemer Jesus Christ!

The Charlie Schulz Philosophy

You may be familiar with this. I have read it before and recently received it in an email. It is one of those, hmmm makes you think kind of things. I do not know where it originates from but felt it was Blog worthy.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder it.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish..
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one :

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?
The lesson :

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials, the most money...or the most awards.
They simply are the ones who care the most.

''Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!"

Let's Chat about Marriage

Today marks our 24th Wedding Anniversary.
December 20th, 1986, Sergio & I exchanged our vows.
I was 24 and Sergio 28.
When we started dating, neither of us were looking for a future spouse.  We were both happy about dating without that... false pretense. Do you know what I mean?  We weren't trying to impress each other or catch each other. Quite frankly, Sergio had a bit of a Casanova reputation. I knew he wasn't looking for a wife. He loved being a bachelor.  Me? I had just stepped out of an uhm.. difficult relationship. Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind, so to date a man that appeared to be a "Lifer as a Bachelor" was a great sense of relief.
No pressure.
He had to convince  me to go out.  I was planning on taking a year off dating. He finally got me to agree to a cookout with several friends. Just hanging out and enjoying our mutual friends.
That was June 9th, 1985.
We have been together since.

The way we meet is a grand story... but I am going to make you wait till next year to hear it. This post is more about marriage.

Once I was at a friend's wedding shower. There was some concern about these two marrying. I said, "If you have any doubts, please don't do this.  It's a life commitment." She smiled and said, "Not hardly Jan. I can always get divorced if it doesn't work out."  Which they did.

I know other friends that married because of timing, or because they dated so long, or because...what if no one better comes along?

I know friends that have been in abusive or controlling marriages. I know friends that have cheated and thought nothing of it.

I know friends that can't stand or have no respect for their spouses.

I can't imagine.

Please don't misunderstand. My marriage has been far from perfect. There have been moments of doubt, moments of tears, and a lot of prayers. (I have always prayed daily for my spouse and my marriage).

My marriage takes a lot of work and I am proud that we do, both of us, work hard every day at it. It takes 150% not just 50%.  It takes patience, understanding, and sacrifices. It takes a lot of prayer.

I believe in divorce. I believe in separation. I do not believe anyone should stay in a loveless or cruel marriage...
But, I also believe in commitment. In love. And God's plan. I wish everyone would think very hard about their decision to marry, and the seriousness of the commitment they are about to make. Especially a Christian marriage... think about the promise you are making not only to each, but to God.

I believe the mountains are not appreciated as much without the valleys. And that some valleys can not be crossed, some mountains can not be accomplished.

I do know that, for me, it is worth every valley, every bit of energy, every tear and every single prayer.

God has given me this man to share my life and to love me. To walk beside and enjoy every day of our lives together.
For that, I am truly Blessed♥

Happy Birthday Pumpkin

 

 My Emily turned 22 yesterday.
To you young Mom's
or Mom's to be, I give you this advice.


♥hold on tight to your little girls...
♥Read to them, every night while you can...
♥play with them every chance you get...
♥be silly with them a lot..
♥let them "help" you cook,
no matter how messy it gets...
♥let them fix your hair, even if it hurts...
♥sing with them, even the weird hip hop or tiny bop...
♥let them "help" with their little siblings,
so what if the diaper isn't put on right,
it's about learning and trust...
♥get to know their friends...
♥ get to know their teachers...
♥take your turn being a Room Mom...
♥be the Brownie, Girl Scout or youth church leader...
♥go to every game, practice, competition
(yes even if it means sitting for 4 hours to watch them perform for 3 minutes)...
♥teach them chores and expect them to do them...
♥make boundaries because you love them...
♥know when to be the mean Mom...
♥follow through...
♥don't be judgmental...
♥let her develop her own style, not the one you want them to have...
♥respect her, cherish her, and love her.

The reward of seeing her develop into a fine woman will amaze you.
Mine do me.

self worth? what is it worth?

 { self-worth- the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect}


So strange how one can have so much going for themselves and from the outside appear to have it together, when truly inside feel as if they are dying and full of doubt.

Picture perfect.
Nice house. Great husband. Beautiful successful children. Accomplished with work and service.

Inside, dark, sad and full of discontentment.

melancholy.

I can't make these feelings go away.
I certainly can (and do) make it better. I have wonderful coping mechanisms I use, I remember that I can't nor should I feel, I can fix things. Also, I take medication. 

It's the holidays, that make things feel worse. This is a season of joy. Of family and friends. Of celebrating the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I am full of shame to feel this way at a time of celebration and joy. I am full of doubt, of my self worth.

I'm giddy of the arrival of my college daughters. Of them staying for a few weeks. Of getting to have them with us. Of getting to see the wonderful young women they have become.  But... I am also frightened. I have a habit of having high expectations and getting let down when things go awry.  My husband will be expecting them to be perfect. Or at least see things the way he does... When they don't (and they won't), he will blame me. The girls will then get mad at him, which he will get madder at me, as he thinks, "you girls always gang up on me. it's three to one." Regardless to the content of the subject. He will also tease me, which for the past 25 years he has felt I should not get mad, as he does it "lovingly" and he has forever, so I should be use to it by now. It's usually, nothing or very little & should not bother me, but, for the past 25 years, he KNOWS it bothers me & I wish he'd stop. It's just not funny to me.

Family will gather. And I will stress. Somebody will say something, do something. I will be the peacemaker.

Oh my gosh... when it rains, it pours...
I started this post earlier today. Since starting it, we discovered our car has been broken into, and yes things were stolen. Then the furnace tried to die... but Hubby scared that mean ole furnace into giving some more life into it.

The day has turned to evening.  Things already look brighter.  I hesitate to post this, especially since I am censored more now with readers that I don't want to take things wrong and over react.
But...
Truth be known, this is my life.
I promise myself to be honest.  I keep much to myself, but writing is so therapeutic. I know that I am not the only one that has these feelings.  I know that when I read others, and how they cope, how they made it better, I know I can too.  I hope that others feel that way when reading my blog.

I feel ten times better. Humor has helped. I'm about to indulge in a glass of White Zinfandel. That will help too. (Don't worry, I only have a glass now and then, never abuse and haven't gotten "tipsy" in many years.)

My lovely Therapist told me I must lower my expectations. I must accept things are GOING to happen. When they do, I need to say, "Oh, so that is the "Thing".  And Move On.  Funny.. It works.

I realize life throws us all surprises and disappointments.

Remember I am very grateful for my life, family, and faith. I just really need to work on that self worth thing.

Puppy Love

Bruno in his favorite sleep position, hogging the bed.

Once upon a time, there was a magnificent dog by the name Bruno. This gentle giant of a Dog came to live with us when he was just about 4 months old. We wanted a companion for our Beloved Lucy Girl. Bruno was a Humane's Society Dog.

Even though he was a mixed breed, one look at his feet told us he would be a BIG dog.  Bruno grew to a healthy 125 and had a slender build. He ate a lot. He had allergies, and took allergy medicine for them. His back bothered him and he amazed us as he was smart enough to twist and align it when he slept.

This loyal Pup was a dream Dog. He stayed by Lucy's side, guided her, assist her, and slept next to her. He protected my daughters, and never once bit anyone.
When Lucy died, Bruno mourned. He continued to be a great Dog to us, but he missed her terrible. We decided to get him a little sister. Riley, was purchased at The local Pound at 5 weeks old.

Bruno wasn't too sure about this crazy ball of energy. He gentle played with her, let her razor sharp teeth hang off his body, and learn to adore her. Riley got  very sick after our first week with her (parvo) and landed in the Veterinary Hospital for several weeks. But, once she arrived home, Bruno again, stepped into protective nurse mode and tended her every need, much as he did for Lucy.

Everyone that meet Bruno, adored him. For Halloween, he donned a kitty headband and sat on the porch with me passing out candy to the children. He played, loved our family and was such a good boy.

One day, I noticed a swelling on Bruno's throat and thought he had gotten stung by a wasp. (he was always killing them when they would fly around the swimming pool. Surely to keep them away from the kids in the pool.). Off to the vet we went. But it wasn't a wasp sting... He had lymph node cancer.  There wasn't anything we could do.  Our vet found several other lumps, and would not be able to cure this. We chose to give Bruno medication to keep him comfortable for as long as possible and make the best of what time we had left. A few months later, we loss our sweet gentle giant. Too soon.  He was only five years old.

Had we known this Dog would not live long, we would have still chosen him. The love Bruno shared with us in five years are worth a hundred years. I would not have traded them.  He gave to each of us. He is still a part of us, and still in framed photos in our home.

Recently, a blog friend, Herrad, from Access Denied-living with ms  received devastating news of her Beloved Spike.

Spike has Bone Cancer. 

Herrad & her Richie, understand a thing or two about Puppy Love and about dealing with death.

Sometimes, life is so unfair. Sometimes it is very unexplainable. It certainly is unpredictable and challenging.

I think my friend would agree with me. It is worth it. You take what you get and make the best of it. You need to enjoy every second and every opportunity. You never know when it is gone. You may never know how fortunate you are, but if you live each day the best you can, if you can pay it forward (much like our Pups). Then, I think you have something.

Babies aren't so Little Anymore

Here is a recent picture of my babies.  They had Winter Formals with their Sororities. Annie, on the left is 20 years old and Emily, on the right will be 22 in a couple of weeks.
Here is how I still see them though.

I know they are growing up... but sometimes I still think they are my Babies.

I remember first little boys that were important to them.

Here is Emily in Kindergarten with her friend Warren.

Here she is now,a Senior in college with her boyfriend Derek.

Here is the Baby Annie, with Chase, she's about 5 years old...

Fifteen years later with Nathan. She is his Baby now.  They had been dating for close to five years.

Where did the time fly? It seems only yesterday... And now, today, it flew so quickly.
Do you ever feel that way? Poof! Just like that.

Blog Reading

I have discovered a few new Blogs recently.  New to me anyway. Want to share with you as you too may find them a good read.

The first I would like to share is Anne Fannie's Green Acres .Anne is a loving Mom/Grandma that also loves her pets, gardening & is craft too. She has a beautiful Victorian Home in Southern California. She writes well and is interesting.  She also seems to have a great eye and takes great photos. She also generously shares crafting tips.

Next I want to share with you The Harwards. Julie is also a loving Mom/Grandma that lives on a beautiful piece of land they call Circle Cliff Views. Breathtaking location. I think maybe Utah?  (I'm not sure). Her love and compassion is felt when I read her blog.  She has a beautiful way of writing.

Also, you need to check out The Mahogany Way. Darcel is a young loving Mom with three adorable children. They are a Christian Attachment Parenting, Un-schooling family, which I find fascinating and intriguing. Darcel is refreshing and I look forward to reading more of her family's adventures.

Finally my newest find is Neinie Dialogues .  Stephanie is a survivor of a plane crash. She is an amazing Blogger that will inspire you as she does me. Her love of family & faith is evident. She actually has a few blogs but this will get you started. 

So, what are you waiting for? Go click on the links and check them out!

It's Begining to look a lot like Christmas

It started snowing this morning. Chilly too. My most current excuse for not attempting to finish with the lights. (I have gotten the two boxwoods finished & 1/3 of the Magnolia tree).
Trying to finish things up around the home. I got the tree done. I let the dogs see it & Bandit got a little too excited... He won't be allowed back in the living room until after the tree is down.

Our Tree this year, is a mismatch of new and old. It has a lot of old hand-made from the girls, Precious Moments, their favorite hallmarks over the years, as well as this & that's we have collected. The girls use to have their own tree in their bonus room that was always very fun. I have done all home-made, and I have done all white or other themes.

My old glass ornaments go in a fishbowl on the coffee table.  I wish I had thought of this years ago as many have not survived children & cats. Here they are safe and I can see them well.

The mantel is coming along. I love the old Tonka truck that was Sergio's sitting on the hearth. I also love catching him smile at it.

A gathering of Santas. I do love them. In different styles and vintage as well as new.  The two old ones in the center belonged to my Grandmother Peggy & maybe Grandmother Noel prior to that. The one with a light bulb in his nose is so frail.  I never plug it in as the cord is older than I! I remember my parents sitting hit up on the bar when I was young.

Finally the good stuff.  The best Christmas decorations, the ones that I will never part with.  The precious goodies my babies made. These are my favorites.  Some have permanent spot, displayed through out the year.

My dear Blogger friend Linda over at Over the Fence inspired me to share a little of my Christmas cheer. I love how she gives us glimpses. It's like sharing a cup of coffee while enjoying her Christmas cheer.

I still have a ways to go.  But, getting there gradually.

Got some great music on too.  I am playing my friend Brooke's playlist from  Brookie's Cookie Jar . She also has a lovely Blog and always great jams. Gosh... so grateful for my Bloggy Buddies!
One more picture for you...
This is my bed last night @ 2am. Im am actually squeezed in between the cat & dogs, with the rest of me up the pillow side.  With Sergio out of town on business, four of the 6 critters that live with us, like to keep me warm at night!

Love to all♥

rejection

Today I found a quote that my daughter use to have posted on her MySpace page. I can't find where it originated, who wrote it, or the exact wording, but it goes something like this:

 "appreciate those who hurt you, because they have made you stronger...

 appreciate those who have deceived you, because they have improved your wisdom...

 appreciate those who slander you, because they improve your personality...

 appreciate those who abandon you, because they teach you to be independent."

Ironic that I found this today.
I have embraced this day, but it has been a little harsh to me.

I tackled putting the Christmas lights up.  Or should I say I attempted. I have learned that it is NOT a good ideal to climb a tree to get lights in it.  The wind and the tree, even the hateful little ladder, played with me and I nearly fell out.  Luckily, I still have quick reflexes.  I also found there is a reason you should have someone steadying a ladder when you climb up to high places to nail a wreath into the house.  Needless to say, I have not completed my task, and have a much higher respect for Sergio who has taken care of this for many years.  I get why he is always trying to find low ideas instead of outlining the house.
My pride was slightly bruised that I could not accomplish this task and surprise Sergio with a well done light spectacular display. HA! I got two boxwood bushes complete, half the Magnolia Tree, and the wreath hung. Rain for the next two days, then I will attempt to finish...

I continue to search diligently for a job.
I am sending out four to seven resumes and applications per week. It is draining. What's worst is I haven't had a single interview.  Today, I got, not one, two, or three, but four Rejection Letters. They are very nice, all say the same thing..."Thank you very much.... we value your interest and qualifications... however, we are pursuing other candidates... we encourage you to continue to seek out future opportunities within our company..."
I seem to have a few strikes against me.  The two most damaging appear to be the lack of a college degree and my age.  The fact that I refuse to take less than my last employment isn't helping.  (Although that was considerably lower than previous salaries.) It is so freaking discouraging! 
I am praying a lot.
I am networking.
I am trying to appreciate this time and get things done that I haven't been able to do (like Christmas lights). I just want to feel like I am contributing more to our household. I want to feel needed and appreciated in the workforce.
The quote somehow connects me to my feeling of rejection and or abandonment from employees.  I know that if they would set an interview, I could get the job.  I have never been turned down from an interview. It's just getting the interview that I need to do!

New Day Meadery Winery

Sergio and I took Emily to New Day Meadery for some more exploration of the art of wine. A very cool winery in the quaint Fountain Square area of Indianapolis. This one is unique as they do not use grapes but rather honey as the key ingredient for their wine. It is different. I liked it, although I am partial to the grape wines.
There is a unique taste that also seems to grasp your sinus cavity in the Dry Mead.. hilarious to see each of our faces when we "experienced" it. Even Sergio, got caught off guard.
We ended up agreeing to the Semi-Sweet Blackberry Honey Wine, and bought a bottle.

Emily and I started our Wine Tasting adventure last time she came home.  We are on The Indy Wine Trail and have three more to go before getting our complimentary wine glass with all the wineries engraved. It is really fun and I have learned so much about wine.

I am looking forward to continuing our journey. If you have wineries in your area, I suggest joining in on this fun way to learn more about wines.  I thought I only liked White Zinfandel, but, tickled to be stepping outside my little comfort zone!

The Ugly Truth

The ugly truth is Leslie Gore lied.

Her song "Sunshine Lollipops & Rainbows", implies that when in love everything is more than peachy.  It's
"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way
When you're in love to stay."

Liar.

I am in love. I have been for close to 25 years to the same man. It's wonderful. But not all the time.
Yeah, sure, I get teased because I do still get giddy when I see him.
But...
He also forgets to tell me how wonderful I am. And sometimes he's not so pretty.

Love is grand. But, I hate the picture some songs paint. I also hate how so many people think it will be just like in the movies or television. Even the sitcoms make it seem easy and fun.  If I ever made a sarcastic comment like Debra on "Raymond" or Carrie on "King of Queens", I'd be divorced and living like Rhett Butler's character Grace from Grace under Fire" (minus the abuse & alcohol situations).

My life has never been "The Brady Bunch"  or "The Cosby Show".  I survived my childhood, happy for the most part and with loving parents. At least it wasn't as dysfunctional as Jeanette Walls, from "The Glass Castle".

I have been very blessed to have a great marriage with an amazing husband.  I love him very much, (although he isn't perfect). I have wonderful daughters that I am so proud of. They live off at college and sometimes time slips and I forget that we aren't perfect mother/daughters too. We are not the Gilmore Girls nor the Kardashians. We are close but sometimes get on each others nerves.

Honestly, I sometimes feel jealous of relationships I see between spouses, mothers & daughters, and family in general. But I realize that there are others that are envious of what I have. Isn't it like that for many?  Never quite satisfied with what you have, always curious about the other side of the fence.

Then you realize what you do have is simply marvelous.

Meet my Muse

"Many artists, writers, poets and musicians have said that their creative work has been inspired by an individual whom they refer to as their "Muse". A muse is someone who has such an influence on another that he or she becomes the focus and inspiration for that person's creative work. The term has historically been used by men to describe the women that they have been in love with and made the subject of their work.

The word muse originates from Greek mythology. The Greek gods Zeus and Mnemosyne had nine daughters called the Muses. The nine daughters were of one being in heart, spirit and thought. If the muses loved a man, then the man's worries instantly disappeared. The man who was loved by the muses was considered to be more sacred than a holy man."

I have been in a slump. I have had little creative let alone positive energy. I have let myself get overwhelmed yet again and needed to snap out of it. With the past couple of weeks throwing job loss, financial concerns, health issues, family conflict and death at me, I threw up a white flag.

In comes my rescuers.
First, credit goes to my Hubby. He is my hero and pushes me to do what is best for myself and to stop concerning myself with the rest.  He knows when I need to give myself a break and I am so grateful he guides me to sanity.
Second, I am giving my Bestie Deb the credit due. She is amazing. And I am very grateful for her as well. She helps me put things in perspective and she inspires me. I am at awe in her achievements and very proud to be her friend. She has accomplished much and hardly takes recognition.
I was able to take an impromptu trip to visit her this weekend. That is a seven and a half hour trip one way. Not for the cranky impatient traveler.  I relished every mile as a milestone closer to my dear friend.  483 miles. 2 gas station stops plus one more stop when I had go to the restroom. Driving that far can be such a wonderful adventure even alone. I chatted a bit on my cell.  I sang...a lot and loudly. I played the alphabet game front ways and backwards. (I both won and loss). And I sang some more.
I made good timing and didn't feel so tired as I was giddy about seeing Deb.

My weekend consist of getting to see her beautiful family (the kids have grown so much since I last saw them and they are turning into fine young  -almost-adults), I got to finally see her home (that I had been promising for 5 yrs to come see, and is absolutely gorgeous), we started decorating her house a little in preparation of a upcoming party, we ate (a lot) we watched the HGTV channel and a movie or two (so wonderful watching with a Bestie and be able to be catty), we took in some sights (visited the quaint city of Collierville, check out Memphis as she took me to the beautiful Mississippi River@ sunset and The Peabody Hotel with their famous ducks that live there), and we just hung out and chatted.
Gosh I love her so much! We have been friends for over 30 years. Even got to be roommates for a year when we were in our early twenties. Oh how I wish we lived closer!
However, we cherished every minute.
I feared the trip home would feel longer and that I would be more tired from. Surprisingly it wasn't.
She had inspired me, lifted my spirits, gave me sound advice, and helped me get my Mojo back. I was anxious to see Sergio too.  I wanted him to see how rejuvenated I was and grateful he encouraged me to take this little trip.
So 483 more miles and two stops to the gas station, as well as one stop at Loretta Lynn's Kitchen for yummy lunch, witnessing one car accident (they were okay and plenty of help, so I continued on my way), a couple more phone calls, and a bunch more loud singing, I made my seven and a half hour trip home safe & sound.

Ahhh, a road trip.  Sometimes the best medicine is doing these little things for ourselves.

love from Todd Deutsch

This was in the December 2010 issue of 
Real Simple Magazine.
I love it!
I had to share, just in case you do not get Real Simple magazine.
Mr Deutsch took this photograph of his sons in November of 2007.
Click the photo to read his piece on the photo.
Many of us lucky parents have seen a similar sight of our children. Ahh, but to get it in a photograph is priceless.
Thank you Todd Deutsch for sharing this with us.

Reader's Block

I don't know what is wrong with me.  I can't seem to get into or enjoy a good book lately. I am trying, but I am being awfully picky.

Was told by many that a must read, "that I would love" was "The Shack", by William Paul Young.  It sounded wonderful.  Spiritual. Right up my alley.  Although, I didn't like it. I really attempted it! I should have enjoyed it.  But nahh.  Not a good read for me.  In fact I got through half before giving up on it.

I did finish a couple that I enjoyed. I read, "His Favorite Wife" by Susan Ray Schmidt. Which I thought was amazing! Very gripping and hard to put down. The fact that this is a Memoir is crazy!  Very dysfunctional but because of religious beliefs.

I also finished, "Up From the Blue" by Susan Henderson. Which also a memoir but made into a novel because of a few changes. Another hard to put down for me.  Had a few surprises that threw me.

 

My most current read is was "Her Last Death", another memoir, this one from Susana Sonnenberg.  I have made it half way through and am throwing in the towel.  If I don't see something by the halfway point, then it's history.

So, now I am moving on... Here are my next two to go for:

I hear this one is really good for animal lovers like me. Jim Gorant's "The Lost Dogs". I am sure it's a tear jerker and I am sure my dislike for Mr Vick will deepen. I found it was about to be released and got in line for it at the library. Very excited to be the first to crack this book open :)

I also am about to read Rachel Sontag's memoir titled "House Rules".  This is the one I will begin this evening.

Well, there are my picks and icks.  The beauty is everyone has different likes and opinions.  What I may like you may hate.  But, I still LOVE hearing what you read and what you thought.  

By The Way~ Best read so far this year is "The Glass Castle" by Jeanette Walls.  Hands down. 

Yeah, I like reading about dysfunctional childhoods...

Word Vomit

"Word Vomit: The uncontrollable act of stating valid facts at an often inopportune time in conversation.  Usually in the wrong tone." Lindsey Lohan's character Cady in the 2004 Movie "Mean Girls".
Truly one of the best quotes ever.  I have a case of Word Vomit often.  It's like my mouth says it or my fingers type it before my brain decides to let me know.... WHOAA! Do you really want to say that?  I have done it again.  Said something that I felt needed said, but surely did not think it was hurtful or would offend. 
I was wrong.  I ended up hurting someone that I love very much.
Why do I do this?
Why did I not see the words the way she did? Or why couldn't she see them the way I do?
Choosing words carefully is so important.
My daughter once had a teacher (I may have mentioned this story) that shared this very important lesson.
Words are much like toothpaste and the tube is like our mouth.  Once you squeeze those words out, you can't put it back.
So be careful. Especially with those you love.

Sister~Cousins

Meyer's and Tribby's July 1967

I love this photo.  I just discovered it and I love the how you can see more than just a family gathering photograph.  Notice everyone is tense.  Almost as if we have been yelled at or forced.  I am the little five year old in the green dress with giant flowers in the front row. My cousin Shari is next to me, and we are the only ones smiling. What ever it is that has everyone else so uptight isn't affecting us little girls so much. We just know to smile when told "cheese".  My cousin Billy has a suit & bow tie on. What's up with that?  My Mother, who always is smiling and happy in photos, but here she can barely be seen hiding behind my Aunt Nancy's hair.  My sister Julie also is always hamming it up and this is a rare photo of her being still and somber. Julie is the sweet little seven year old in the center. The other day when this was discovered, Shari, Janet (the baby in the photo), and myself, started trying to analysis this photograph.It was a good laugh.

Family can be interesting.  Very complex or very simple.  Sometimes, I think for most, somewhere in between.  I believe that when you have a dysfunctional family, you are very much clinging to each other, knowing you know each others secrets.  You need each other to survive.

Through the years, I have been Blessed to stay in touch pretty well with my cousins. Of course there are times we get busy and are not as close as we wish, however given the fact that we live across this nation in multiple states (as well as countries, with one cousin that lived in Canada for 7 years), we have always been there for each other. Not so well with my boy cousins, somehow, ever though we love each other and all, we didn't stay as close.  Except the silly boy in the striped shirt.  That is my cousin Rob, whom I was very close to. (He even lived with us for a while).  Unfortunately, we lost Rob to suicide several years back when he was just shy of his 40th birthday.

Through recent tragedy, I have reconnected more with my cousins. We don't have as many distractions now that our children are grown (well, mine anyway). We have vowed to stay connected.  We now feel more like sister's than cousins. We will keep our priorities straight.  We will try desperately to meet yearly with a fun Sister~Cousin trip. 

These girls know me better than anyone.  They understand who I am and how I got here.  My sister and I both are both so lucky to have each other and now we have the cousins to lean on and to embrace.

Janet, Janis, Shari

I am very fortunate to have these women in my life.

Stinker!

Bandit has discovered he can see what's going on by jumping on top his crate and peering through the pass through between my office and the kitchen. He is very curious and always wants to know what everyone is up too. He'd have freedom to enjoy the whole house if he could stop his urge to "mark" certain pieces of furniture!

Let's just hope he doesn't get brave & try to come through! Looks like he is thinking about it.

Ready For a New Chapter

My Life is much like a book.

The story seems to be one you know how it will end, but sometimes you find interesting changes.
Unforeseen events that keep you interested and make you wonder what is next. Expectations change.

And so begins a new chapter to that life story I thought I knew.

These new pages offer me thrill as well as fear. I will embrace new challenges and take on things I am not familiar with. I will pull up my big girl panties and face things that frighten me.

I do believe that good things are to come. Sometimes when we walk through some valleys we appreciate the hills more.  I am okay with that.  I also believe that this is all a part of a plan, a blueprint if you will.  I must be patient and listen to my heart. What is it that God has in store for me? How exciting!

So, I am ready for this change. I am ready for a new chapter. I embrace what God has in store for me, so bring it on!

inspired

Amazing to me how inspired I can get.  I feel so inadequate. I see so many amazing people and I am in awe. I try my best to be a good person, to pay it forward, and to make others feel better.

I have been in a rut. Yet I dare not complain as I realize I have it good. I should be grateful and well, shut up. Who am I to complain?  I have my health, a roof over my head. Two wonderful daughters, and an incredible husband.

But, things are far from perfect.

Recently, I have been faithfully following two blogs.
Bowen's Heart http://bowensheart.com/
and Access Denied ~ Living with Multiple Sclerosis  http://accessdenied-livingwithms.blogspot.com/

Bowen's Heart I posted earlier about asking for your prayers for this mighty little fighter. I continue to read daily and to pray for him and his precious family. His parents faith has truly moved me and strengthened my own faith.
Access Denied is written by one of the most extraordinary women I have ever read of. Herrad, writes of her journey of having MS.  Things I so often take for granted, I am reminded are luxurious things that not everyone can do.

Herrad graciously has given me an award.

I am very honored and touched that she has passed this on to me. Particularly since I have not been writing well lately. Or at least not writing from my heart. Her encouragement gives me hope and a smile. She makes me want to put myself out there again. She has given me a nudge I have been needing. Thank you Herrad. You are such a wonderful Blogger and inspire me every day!

So, I guess I am to pass this on. Many of my favorite and worthy Blogs I follow, do not accept awards so that makes it more difficult to make the choices. I am going to cheat a bit. I think this is worthy to all I follow so I am inviting all those wonderful Bloggers to come snatch it up. My words to those of you reading this that want to know a good blog to read... please click on any that I follow. They are all MARVELOUS!

10 Things I have Learned About the Girls

This is a list of TEN THINGS I have learned about my daughters that I have observed over this past weekend. Having to do with them being college students mostly.

1.My college student daughters need naps. I think this is to compensate the late hours they keep.

2. Sororities cost a lot to keep the sisters dressed in the hundred or so Greek T-Shirts they don with varies "events" that they have participated in.

3. My daughters still wear the same cheer shorts they worn in Junior High.

4.The laundry consist of a lot of crazy socks. I wonder if they will be like a Grandma always in mismatched socks.

5. Emily's cat will always love her most.

6. They have healthier eating habits than I.

7. At wine tastings, my oldest doesn't "sip", rather "gulps" her samples.

8. My oldest daughter can out drink me.

9. My youngest daughter can "probably" out drink me.  

10. They will always love their Father & I.

Just one of those moments.

I sat here and thought,hmmmmm.

Mel's Run With Delta Zeta

I had a lovely time with my girls for Mel's Run. It was a fund raiser for Riley's Children's Hospital Burn Unit. Annie's sorority Delta Zeta had a a nice turn out on a beautiful day. 

Corey, Annie, & Nathan 

We did the walk. I'm not a runner. It is a fun Run/Walk that allows the participates to bring their dogs. Last year we brought Bandit & Dakota, this year they stayed home.

Annie & her Big~ Katie

Annie & her Little~ Alyssa

My  Girls~ Annie & Emily

I am glad my daughter's chose to join Sororities. It would have been nice if they had chosen the same, however the ones they chose are great fits for them both. Emily is a Chi Omega. And Annie is a Delta Zeta. They may not be sorority sisters, but they will always be Real Sisters. I am so proud of them both!

♥Tree Vomit ♥

This is all over my back yard.

It's all over the state of Indiana.

Our state is wonderful watercolors.

Makes you wish you were here doesn't it?

♥I love it♥

{ps...sorry for the odd title but it was the first thing that popped out of my head & I liked it.}

Back In Heels!!!!

Finally, I can wear heels again! It was a struggle, and pain was involved. BUT I could walk in them!  This is huge. I love heels! They give shape to my legs. Make me feel pretty. Make me feel like a woman!

Yes, I realize torn ligaments need time to heal.  But, two months is a long time to wear "practical" shoes. I even wore the damn brace Sunday during a 5 mile walk with Annie & her sorority. So I was ready, ready to take a bullet. I just prayed not to fall down.

Sergio & I had a big To Do last night. It was glamorous and fun to dress up. I picked up these little pretties at the last minute. I figure, if I am gonna give it a go, why not with something I like? So FOUR inch Stilettos are now a part of my shoe family :)

{Special thanks to Hubby for taking a picture of my shoes with his cell phone!}