Monday, December 31, 2012

And So it Goes...

2012
It has been an eventful year for many. Especially me.
2012 has been rather life changing for me.
 
I lost my Mom,
 
became my Dad's care-giver.
 
I turned 50.
 
Almost lost my marriage, but instead strengthened it.
 
Had one Daughter not only graduate from college, but land her dream job.
 
While the other got the chance of a lifetime, studying abroad and catching dreams.

 Strengthened some friendships and family ties as well.

We have had some health scares. And we have had financial hic-cups.
The weather has been strange, down right crazy.
The World's current events have been terrifying with our own USA crime unbelievable.
The lack of respect and responsibility has been embarrassing.

 
Made some pretty major decisions. And started seeing things differently.

Through all this year, one thing is certain.  I have become a much stronger woman.  I have found my voice.  I think I have come to understand that regardless to what happens in my life, I have the power to stand... to take what God has put before me and to figure it out. 
I use to think that everything that happened was a part of God's plan... I don't so much anymore.  I do believe that He has planned my life and given me the opportunity to live life to its fullest. However... I do not find Him responsible for the evil and bad things that happen in our lives.  He helps us through the storms, and helps us from sinking.  He puts things in our paths to help us find the solid ground or even sometimes a floatation to get us to that solid ground. 
This I know.  God Loves Me.
As I pray I am doing what I should and it is good enough.
I have come to realize...I am enough.

I have caught my breath and I am ready for what 2013 has in store.  There are so many exciting things looming around the corner. I am thrilled to take on this year.  I am sure there will continue to be mountains to climb and valleys to cross, but, I'm good.
I got this.
 

Highlander's Cottage Give Away

Chalkboard Give-Away
Click on the link for a wonderful give-away from Highlander's Cottage. They always have the most fabulous signs and I love them.  One day... I am going to buy one of their signs or address plates.  But until then... I am trying to win this lovely chalkboard.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

exhale

The soothing satisfaction of being able to exhale. 
I was uptight, nervous, and short of breath. As Christmas was looming I was fretting.  Would this Holiday be as disastrous as Thanksgiving?  Was I going to be a tearful emotional mess again? Or was I going to be okay this Holiday?


With prayer, I woke with a gentle warmth in my heart and a strength in my soul. I was okay with this Holiday.

The day flowed with funny mishaps but no pain.

I burnt the ham... I burnt the corn.... I burnt the rolls. Seriously? Who does that?  I NEVER burn things. But my sweet Family laughed with me and ate it.

Dad had a spike in his blood sugar.  A very high spike... But with insulin we got him back to normal.


jan annie sheri 12.25.12
Later in the evening Annie & I talked Sheri into going to a movie. Parental Guidance. Sweet little funny movie.  I spilled two not just one over sized Diet Cokes on myself at two different times.  Before giving myself a hard time over this... I will say that three other folks in the theater did also so I totally blame the flimsy over sized cups not the user. Hanging with Annie & Sheri was such a wonderful thing.  We laughed. A lot.  Annie's snort laugh.  Sheri's squeal with tears. And my gasping guffaw.

The weather held back. Giving us a warm day perfect for transporting Dad to my house. Waiting to bring us the beautiful snow the next morning. We got a beautiful display of white blanket, along with wicked winds.  The snow photograph at the top of the post, is of a snow overhang from our roof.  So pretty.

My Mom was all around me this Christmas. 

sis mom me...a few years back
It was not sad.  It was not manic. It was her sweetness. Her softer side.  The fun... the love. 

I was able to enjoy this Christmas.. and that is huge.

I miss my Mom.  I miss the good times, not the manic. 

But, it's all good.  I'm able to breathe, I'm able to exhale.



Sunday, December 23, 2012

Jingle Bells


♪dashing through the snow...
in a last miute panic effort....
to get those last few gifts...
that I have yet to buy...
trying not to freak...
 remembering to breathe...
Oh what fun it is to buy and get through this holiday!
♪ Jingle Bells♪ Jingle Bells♪
oh where is my White Zinf?
I only need a few more days squeezed into the next two!
Oh Jingle Bells♪ Jingle Bells♪
Forget the White Zinf...
I really need to pop a few of my precious little Xans!♪