Monday, November 21, 2011

Thankfulness and Tears

As Thanksgiving approaches, I reflect on all I am grateful for.
I am Blessed.
I have the most wonderful daughters, whom I am so proud of. A loving Husband that tries to understand and protect me. A Sister that I don't know what I would do without.  My job, has brought me much joy and opened a new culture to me. And many family and friends that have Blessed my life along the way.
But...
It is also a time where I reflect on those things in my life that are not going so well.
I try so hard to remember not to dwell on things that I can not change, but it is difficult.
I find myself in prayer asking that God will provide me the comfort in knowing this is all part of His plan & that I need to trust in Him. However, I  can't seem to be able to accept certain things that have brought such sadness.  I find myself wondering why? Why God, must I endure this and if I must, please help me to accept and move forward.
When you have depression issues, the Holidays can be difficult instead of joyous.  I am trying so hard.
I want to make everything perfect for my loved ones. But I also have this unbearable pain that some of whom I love so dearly can't join us and celebrate all we are Blessed with.
Life is so short...
I just want...
to be happy
to make others happy
and to learn to accept and move on.

4 comments:

Zion Girl said...

Dear sweet Janis......I am sorry that you are struggling. Know that you are always in my prayers.

Bee Lady said...

One time I was at a motivational seminar for work. The lady was talking about how we tend to focus more on the negative than the positive. She said anytime our minds go to the negative, to say out loud to yourself, "STOP" then turn the thoughts towards the positive. When you find yourself focusing on the negative, think about all the things you just talked about that have brought you so many blessings in your life. Happy Thanksgiving. Thinking of you.

Cindy Bee

Anonymous said...

Jan,
I identify with everything that you are saying, about both, the negative sources of sadness and the positive of joy and thankfulness, on both a personal level (our shared family) and less specifically with the holidays being a time of celebration, and yet I can find myself feeling very lonely at times – sometimes like I am a stranger within my own home. I don’t think we can always stop and simply ignore our sadness or should we always try. I think it helps to express grief as you have done here. It is healthy. Your sister and I share it, but too, we share much that bring us gratitude and happiness. And even with the sadness, there is hope. Do not give up on hope. And like you, I do not know how I would survive life's many trials without your sister.
Love,
Brutus

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

Hi Janis, I am playing catch up after the olive harvest! There was certainly lots to read here, I am sorry you are going through a bad patch, but stay strong. Guess what I have started a separate blog to share more of my photography, I hope you will be interested.