Saturday, November 26, 2011

stronger than you know...

As Thanksgiving arrived I had that nervous feeling.  I knew I could handle the day, and what God had in store.  I had Hubby, and both daughters to spend the day with so, feeling rather ready to face the day and start my cooking frenzy.
Emily & Annie

After much thinking and missing of my parents... I picked up the phone and spoke to them both. Not as easy as it sounds, and no I will not go into it. Let's just say I wanted to tell them I love them and let them know they are in my thoughts & prayers.

I was able to reach my Sis, which always brings me love. I am saddened that we were unable to meet up for Thanksgiving. She & Hubby were going to stop by later but were unable to. Sis was able to update me on some family developments but I stopped her, as I really wasn't ready to discuss too much of these details.. not now. Not today.

As I hung up the phone, I noticed Dakota chomping on something. DAKOTA!!! That's my new Mouth guard! ugh. I already know insurance will not allow me another one, & frankly I don't have another $400 sitting around.  Maybe I can "alter" it, cutting the chewed ends off and still utilize the purpose as the center seems unaffected.

My Husband's Sister, Nora, & her handsome guys joined Hubby, the girls & I for a nice Thanksgiving meal. That was good.  To have their company as well as breaking bread together. I can make a mean Thanksgiving dinner and all was tasty.
Nora & Sergio
Cousins~ Emily Annie Chris & John

As the evening arrived, Emily's boyfriend had to skidadal to his family dinner. The in-laws also headed out.  We visited and grazed with our girls for a while longer.
For the most part... it was pretty good.  We are Blessed.

Right before hitting the sack, I opened my Laptop to check mail.  That's when I saw it. A message from a ghost. A molester. Someone that I grew up believing I was to trust, that in turn, molested me.

The message was short. He had found me through a mutual person on Facebook. He said something about despite what happened, he had a lot of photographs of me and my family that he would like to pass to me.
Now, as much as I love photos, and he was an amateur photographer that took tons of us, I don't want a thing from this person.
He stirred up some painful memories. Thirty-five years later, and the pain is just as fresh when surfaced.

Just when my plate is so full of peas and they are starting to overflow off my plate, I have tripped, and they are flying off. 
I felt so overwhelmed with the problems I had.  I really don't think it's fair to get this thrown on top of the lot.
BUT, apparently, God knows I can handle this.  He knows what He is giving me & He knows that I can handle it.  I just keep telling myself to BELIEVE & to TRUST.  I do realize how fortunate I am, and I am very grateful.  It's just sometimes I feel... well, dang it like, OKAY! I think Ive had enough... please give me a break.  God knows me better than anyone.  He knows that I am Stronger than I know. 
I do believe. I do trust.
Me & the Hubby


Herrad said...

hi janis,
i enjoyed reading about your dinner, can you reset your security settings to exclude the stalker.
difficult but try to forget the loser, the best revenge is to live well.
enjoy your life with your darling, seeing your girls and people who help you feel good, supportive loving friends who build you up.
you are a wonderful person.

Herrad said...

ps take it easy, stop giving yourself such a tough time.
love xx h

Kitty Stampede said...

Hi Janis,

I am popping by to say Thank you for your sweet, sweet comment on my blog. Thank you. It made me happy.

Also, your family is GORGEOUS. All of you are stunning. You should be such a proud woman. I mean looks aren't everything but WOW!!!!... :)

It was great that you got spend time with most of the people you love.

It's terrible that he had to contact you....of all days.
But try to fight through those thoughts and feelings. There is that saying I think of "Resentment is like letting someone live rent free in your head." I totally understand that it still haunts you to this day, but try and just move ahead and think of where you are, and your beautiful, loving family. You have so much to be thankful for. God is there for you to throw all your worries, bad memories to him. He wants you to be free in your head, to focus on the love and the good.

Reality Jayne said...

You can do it , can

Scribe said...

Happy Thanksgiving Janis.

Mark Pressley said...

I am sorry that there are monsters in the world.

Breathe a sigh of relieve that you have your true loved ones close by.

Vanna said...

You have such a good looking family Janis!

Darcel said...

Janis, so sorry your Thanksgiving was almost ruined by this person. You're right though, we are stronger than we realize.