Friday, July 30, 2010

Unveiling old Wounds

Sometimes life throws us a curve. How we deal with it will determine the outcome.

It is interesting to me how someone that has a strong memory of things from long ago, can still be able to bury some memories that are too painful to carry with us. Years can pass thickening the skin, hiding the scars.

However, things can happen, things that can trigger an unpleasant memory or a pain from long ago. When this does happen, it is like an unbelievable blow. Or a deva vu.

A while back, Someone mentioned an old "thing". One of those buried memories that I had to put away a long time ago. When it was reveled, I swear I felt the exact same pain, the feeling in the same spot and the sickening feeling in my gut.

I know people that have the gift of being able to block bad memories completely. Someone close to me once said, "I only have small pieces of my childhood in memories. I am scared of what I have blocked and hope that I don't ever recall them."

Someone else close to me, said something very wise. "I don't live in the past. It is the past. I refuse to dwell on it or allow it to sadden me. I live for today. I look forward to tomorrow."

I wish I could do that. I know that when I dwell or over-analyze, it doesn't add one day. It doesn't soften the pain, but I feel driven to understand things better. To have clarity. It does that for me. Once I truly understand the why or how, I can have closure on things.

Sometimes, I amaze myself at how much I have grown and how much I am now able to prioritize and start being able to "forget about it". Sometimes, "it" really doesn't matter.

"Scars tell where we have been, not who we are".

Backgrounds

Why do my backgrounds keep disappearing? Is anyone else having problems with their blogs? Ever since Blogspot added the new Custom Design link, my CutestBlogOnTheBlock backgrounds keep going hay wired.

WD 40 to the Rescue!


A while back got one of those forward emails that had "good to know" stuff about WD 40. I read it enjoyed it then forwarded it. Last week I managed to get tar (from walking on hot black top) on my shoe and transferred it not to one pair of slacks but two because I am one of those women that sit on my feet in the office. (I must think I am still in kindergarten! I remember learning to sit "Indiana Style as it was called back in the 60's, thinking this is pretty cool & comfy and sticking to it for 40+ years).


Oops, where was I going with this? Oh yeah... WD 40! So anyway, I was very mad at myself for ruining two pairs of pants within a week. One pair were tan dress slacks, the other my favorite white carpi's! How am I gonna get BLACK TAR off without making it worse? Then I remembered the email! But... I didn't save it. I remembered something about taking tar off fabric so, off to Google.com I went. Although I did not find the exact email, I got more than I bargained for. I found on wd40's official website a humongous list of things WD 40 takes care of. Too many to list here, but I can give you the link. {well, I am trying but not sure if it's working...grr!) Just go to www.wd40.com/files/pdf/wd-40_2042538679.pdf
My pants look good as new! I was so afraid of an oily spot from the WD40 but, they look PERFECT! Make sure you check this out and get some WD40 for your cupboard!
Did you know that the key ingredient is fish oil? Go figure?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Songs of the Cicadas



The Cicadas hit us hard us hard this year in Indiana. They are a very interesting bug. First came the casings. I started spotting these early this year. We usually don't see them as early as June, but our trees were full of them. Small skeleton shells, much like a skin from a snake. They cling to the trees like little empty clips.

Next come the songs... Now, if you have never heard Cicada's humming it could frighten you. I actually find it soothing, even beautiful. I don't understand how they do it. how they synchronize and are in harmony. Very cool. I read that the way they make the sound is nothing like a Cricket. Rather,

They are beautiful, in a creepy sort of way. I would guess most are about 1-2 inches long, but can be longer. Look much like a mutant horse fly. LOL. They are not fast like horse & house flies, rather slow. They have three eyes small eyes between the two large eyes on top of their heads (I betcha didn't know that!). The also "sweat" to cool themselves down and lower their temperature. They stay out of sight, I suppose at the tops of my trees.
I know they are here, I certainly can hear them! Unlike crickets, they make their sound from noise makers on their sides that form membranes that tighten & relax their muscles causing the sounds. Sorry~ didn't mean to get all Mr Scientist. I just find it bizarre.
Sometimes they kind of freak me out when it is very late, and I am out with the dogs. It's dark, and very quite...except for them. They will slowly start up, and get louder & louder, as if approaching, then SILENCE.
Then again, I get creeped out easily as I am such a frady cat!

One of the strange facts about them that intrigue me is their lifespan. They can live 13-17 years!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Please and Thank You



Yesterday, my oldest daughter and I had a conversation about children and manners. Or should I say, the lack of manners in children. Emily has been employed as a Nanny this summer. The children in her care are 3 and 4 years old. She has made some observations with them, as well as in play groups. We also discussed some of the elementary aged children she has worked with through school and children in general. Grant it, some of the children we discussed are young, however, a child is never too young to start learning. If they are old enough to "demand" then they are old enough to ask "please"and how and say "thank you".

It seems to me, this is the most formative time to show by example as well as expectations to achieve anything. If a child has this type of foundation, the manners will come naturally.

I'm going to brag alittle now. My girls were "known" for their manners and for being well behaved. They were welcomed everywhere. Oldies loved them. At restaurants, church, or shopping, we were complimented constantly. How did we do it? How didn't we?

I am applaud at the lack of manners today. It is no wonder, with all the gimme people, expecting things, demanding things, and shame on us, for allowing it.

I hate going into a restaurant and having my server give lame excuses for poor service, no apologize just excuses.

I hate hearing a child scream, demand or grab something without asking.

I hate rudeness.

How about the lady I got to hear today, screaming into her phone to I am guessing her boyfriend/ husband/ baby daddy, "I ain't got no M*F* takin' care of my *ss" You hear me M*F*?" Or the other one screaming, "No I don't! I only owe you hunna-ninety, that don't add up ta no Two Hunna, no it sure don't!". Both these women were across the street from me, traffic flowing, downtown humming, and I have bad hearing, but I could still hear every dreadful word, mispronounced and at the top of their lungs.

How about the cutting in front of me, stepping back on me, or coughing at me as they walk by?
Or the person in line in front of me that wants to tell me TMI and is spitting on me as they talk?

I hate when people talk with food in their mouths.

I hate when people talk loudly on their cell phones when I am trying to enjoy the peace.

I hate it when people slurp, pop, or make any unnecessary noises in public.

And as my friends can testify, I absolutely hate for people to clip their nails, pick their teeth or clean their nose in public; for goodness sake, please use the restroom!


I may not be Emily Post, but my Momma taught me how to be polite, and to remember my manners. We always say please, thank you, hold doors for others, let someone step in front of us, serve others before ourselves, and offer up our help. I may be late with my written "thank yous" but, they do get out eventually. {And I feel terrible till they get out!}

Let me end with this little quote from our wonderful Emily Post:

Words To Live By~
"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." ~ Emily Post

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Fungi



The weather has been odd around here. It has been very humid. Hot sticky days and nights. And then there is the rain. Crazy rain. Thunderstorms with bad ass lightening. Then it goes right back to the hot humid weather.


I don't recall this quite so the way it has been. I certainly don't recall seeing so many mushrooms appear overnight. They pop up daily. Little colonies. And great big bursting at the seems kind.


Ever think about a mushroom? There so many types. The yard variety, the super market kind, then the psychedelic, better know what you are doing kind.
My yard is producing a bunch that look very different. I like them. I think they look rather interesting.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

It All Amounts To ...Not Much

I just completed two long, hot, tiring days of an Estate Sale. I am talking 90+ degrees baking sun, with my Uncle, a couple of Cousins, Husband, and a couple of friends. My Husband & Cousin's Husband joined us day two, so day one, I was the "most able-body", (My Uncle & friend, both had multiple heart surgeries, knee surgeries, as well as other health issues, oh, and they are up there in the sixties & seventies also). One Cousin is a scrappy, tiny, seventy-six year woman who certainly can pull her weight... but she weighs maybe 90? The other Cousin is 13 years younger than I, but ridden with health issues, and unable to lift things). So, I got a work out. Very thankful day two Sergio & Bradley's muscles were at hand!

To take a couple's household of 50th years, and reduce it to an "Estate Sale", is heart wrenching. Sure, several items were already "inherited" out and some stuff was thrown away, but think about the contents of your home.... then imagine it lining up your drive way and garage being sold pennies for the dollar.

My Aunt & Uncle hoarded alot of stuff. They recorded EVERYTHING and had these records on hand, just in case ever needed. My Aunt kept every card, letter and notes. Her postie notes from her office job, graduation & wedding announcements, even from friends granddaughters and sons. My Uncle had paperwork, notes and receipts for just about everything in the home and then some. We found their dog Sam's little sweaters and leases ( Sam died about thirty years ago when they lived in another state).

My Aunt & Uncled bought the higher quality stuff, paid big bucks, but it lasted forever. To sell a $1000 treadmill for $30, a $2000 bedroom suite for $200, and a $300 painting for $20 is crazy, but what else can you do? The economy is bad, ebay & Craigslist is time consuming and no guarantees (let along we had hundreds of items). We were forced to take what we could so that money could go toward my Aunts care, as well as empty the home so it could get on the market. Some of the things are truly treasures and difficult to see go for next to nothing. Some didn't find new homes. Goodwill will hopefully find homes for these items. Some items made their way to our trunks as we just could not throw away. I couldn't watch this hair dryer go to the trash. It was a little beauty I had to keep. My Bestie, Sheri used these forever. I am hoping she will give it a good home. I worked hard at getting the best prices for their things. I am grateful that my Cousins, the Daughters, were not here to watch this transpire. It was heart breaking enough for us, I can only imagine watching people take the pieces of my parents life little by little.
On a happier note, It was lovely to see, particularly young families, excited about getting the deals. To see people happy about their finds. I would like to think that this stuff will continue to get good use.
The house has been updated, and is just about ready to go on the market. It's tough. The whole process has been difficult. It is an eye opener. Makes me want to "be prepared". I don't want my daughters to be in a position to have to go through all of this ordeal.
It is really an strange feeling. To see that a lifetime of a person's "stuff" amounts to not much at all in the end. I guess, the important lesson here was, enjoy what you have and make the best of it. Get rid of what you don't need or use. Pass things on to your loved ones while you still have the chance... or they just might end up in the wrong hand.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Let Me Explain The Way I See It

~This is sort of a disclaimer.~


I was very private about my Blog for the first couple of years. I started it on June 6th 2007.

Before starting the Blog, my Grandma Kitty use to get snail mail letters from me for many years up to her death. She often told me she loved the way I told my stories. That she always felt right there and on the edge of her seat. I amused her. I made her laugh. She loved that I held nothing back & told it like it was.

After she passed, my Aunt Linda and I started emailing each other. At Grandma Kitty's Funeral, I told Linda that I was so happy for her life, however, my selfish side wondered,who was I going to send my letters to now? They were so helpful and habit forming for me. Linda quickly volunteered to fill that void. We became closer over the years through our emails. She told me she loved the emails. I made her laugh, I held nothing back, I wasn't afraid to tell it like I see it. She told me I needed to write a book.

My Bestie Sheri went to her annual Writer's Conference in New York the spring of 2006. She learned about this new world...Blog World. She was determined to start a Blog. She did. It was Amazing! And I saw how proud and therapeutic it was to her. She kept encouraging me to give it a try.

My Bestie Deb was right there as well, pushing me, encouraging me giving me the strength to give it a whirl.

Once I got comfortable, I started finding others and they started finding me! I was amazed to find people across this big ole world of ours interested in little ole me. I found that others felt and experienced some of the same things I did.

I always tried to be careful in my writing. I wasn't ready for "loved ones" other than the Besties, and Aunt Linda to read. Slowly I gave the website to others. Then people started finding me. Friends from High School, friends from college.

The coolest thing was I was making new friends in this loving Blog World where we listen, we lend a shoulder, we laugh, we relate. We started following each other and getting and giving awards.

I felt good. Really good about finding a niche. Expressing myself. And validation.

If you read my blog, really read it, I think you will find I am just an average person, coping with things the best I can. Finding resolutions, finding joy and sharing fun stuff.

I knew a day would come when some people would find my writings not to their liking. I had a few stalker-ish weirdo's and a few mean people with nothing better to do than say mean things. Mostly I have found love, friendship and respect. To hear someone tell me that what I wrote helped them or gave them joy made things feel good in life to me. I have never had someone that I knew, tell me I offended them. I always seek permission from Sergio & my daughters before writing about them. As well as friends.

My folks were another story. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to share this with them. I want them to be proud. I want them to be wowed. BUT... I don't know what mood I will get with them from day to day. I don't want them to misunderstand my writing. I don't want them to get hurt feelings. I do want them to see how proud I am of what they HAVE achieve, and to see how we get through what we have been dealt.

Recently my Mom has discovered my Blog. She did at the same time we had a disagreement concerning Facebook privacy. I have been anxious to hear what she thought about my Blog. I hoped she would be proud and "get it".

She hadn't been available for my calls. She emailed my sister and asked her to give the info to me. She finally spoke to me when I called, but was distant and careful with the conversation.

Today I got a cute card, and a letter from Mom. My letter stress' "she is sorry that my childhood was so awful. And that we stressed each other out." She said that she is glad that I have found ways to deal with it and wishes me good luck with the book. That now that she has knowledge received from my Blog, she can understand my feelings of discomfort with her and that maybe we can be close like we once were.

Mom didn't understand my writing. She only saw what she wanted to out of it.

Mom, if you are reading this, maybe you need to know this:

If you read my whole Blog, close to six hundred postings, you may have missed the fact that I write about alot of things, not just about my childhood and a "poor me" read.

I have written about:

  1. Health issues 5%,
  2. Product reviews and recommendations 5%,
  3. Honoring people that I admire 10%,
  4. Menopause & growing old 15%,
  5. Funny things & thoughts 15%,
  6. Friendships 25%
  7. Family {including my daughters, my marriage, my growing up, Sis & parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, & cousins} 25%

I have readers and followers from across the globe. My regular followers that comment~ friends from California to New York. Wisconsin to Texas. Canada, United Kingdom, South Africa, France, India, Germany, Philippines, and an Military Base in Iraq. They like what I write. They can relate. They can get a smile. They come back for more. I have a MapLog so I can monitor where reader's are coming from and where. {yes I see when you are on Mom}.

I have gotten awards. Kindof goofy to some. Overkill to others. To me, I am so honored! Over the past couple of years I have received five awards. "Kreativ Blogger", "Honest Scrap", "Beautiful Blogger", "Sugar Doll", and "Your Imagination Is A Gift". I am so PROUD! I can not say thank you enough to my readers! The comments are so encouraging and enlightening. They make me laugh back and make me feel so lucky to have these "Blog friends". I have followers that are young ( a couple of teens) up to some friends in their golden years.

As for luck on the book, thank you~ I already published it. As A Birthday gift to myself. I posted about it here recently.

I have no problem with my parents reading this Blog. Even if they are not proud nor understand what I am saying with it, maybe they will one day. I have many people encouraging me to keep writing. I wish I was braver to put it all out there, but out of respect to others that may not want things "out there" I carefully choose my topics and curb my tongue when necessary.

Thank you to those of you that love me and my Blog.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Hi God!

So, this evening I was driving home from getting my sunroof replaced, and I started to have an anxiety attack. I haven't had one in a while so it surprised me. I started getting overwhelmed thinking about things I can't change, people I can't fix, and this little bird ALMOST got ran over by me...He is okay, he flew out of the way in the nick of time.

I hated the feeling as it started to engulf me. I was feeling my hand start to shake & my eyes start to water.

Suddenly, I felt something tug at me. I glanced up and to my amazement, the sky had rays of light streaming through. I lifted my sunglasses, and it was gone. Lowered them, and I could see it. {Has that ever happen to you how sunglasses filter things and you can see things that can't be seen with the naked eye}.

As quickly as I saw this, my dread went away. I felt peace. I felt a calming.

I smiled, and said, "Hi God!".

He is so Cool! Thank you for that, God.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

It's Published!!!

I am officially a Publisher! My Blog is in print now. Well at least the first 500 post (give or take a few).
I went with and highly recommend, Blog 2 Print , the SharedBook Company.
http://blog2print.sharedbook.com/ It was so easy and fun to do. You can even see a test book within minutes (which is a great marketing tool as I immediately wanted to buy once I "saw" my book). For $14.95 you can purchase a basic 20 page soft cover Blog Book. If you want a hard back cover, add $10.00. Extra pages are $.35 each. My original book exceeded the limit of pages you can have in one book. So I reduced it by deleting (just from the book) a few postings, and deleting the comments. I wish I could have deleted the content section as that took 22 pages, but that wasn't an option. All in all, I condensed the book to 378 pages. It is 8.5" x 11, my pages are beautiful with full color photos. The only downside is a few of my photos are slightly blurred, but I believe it was a pixel thing as these are mostly photos that had bad quality. My book, hardback and all, came to $150.00. Well worth the price. Again, the people at Sharebooks were great to work with. I did the whole thing online and never needed to call them as it was so easy. Also, much to my surprise, it was finished and arrived to me ahead of schedule. I believe they said 3 weeks, and I got mine in half that time.

The finish product is wonderful! I am sooo very proud. It was a Birthday gift to myself. (Shouldn't we all give a little something to ourselves?) It sits on one of my desk in my office. Occasionally picked up, and smiled at often. I did this for me. It was a sort of validation. I love having the Blog for all to read on the Internet, but to have it in print is a Jan thing. I love books! I love reading. I love that I look over to it and can say, "I wrote that!"

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Pleaser


Once upon a time a baby girl was born. She didn't ask to be born, but was grateful. She was born to a Mother & a Father, that were struggling to get by along with their little girl, the Baby's older Sister. The young family struggled, but they were happy. The Big Sister loved her Baby Sister. The parents loved their daughters. But things were tough. Money was tight, the couple were young and inexperienced.

When the Baby girl was almost a year old, her parents were in a horrible accident. They survive but there were consequences. Her father was handicapped, her mother although her injuries were not severe, the emotional scars, and the burdens to follow were heavy.
The girls did not get the same care they once did. The accident changed everything. Their Mother had many new responsibilities to deal with and her time was thinned.

They survived. They made do. They were there for each other when the parents could not be. The little girls figured out the best survival skills they could find and that got them through and made them strong.

The older Sister functioned best by putting things out of her mind. She preoccupied herself with activities, friends, and life. She got thick skinned and learned to let things roll off of her without doing too much damage.

The little sister functioned best by trying to fix everything and everyone. She learned to be a "Pleaser". She tried to make others happy, comfortable and less stressed. This was not the best way to do things, especially for her, but was what she knew. It was how she coped. She always put herself last and served everyone. She learned how to be a good listener. She learned how to make others laugh. She worked hard to make others particularly, her family feel comfort. She constantly put herself in harms way (the thick of the family's dysfunction).

The family continued to have lots of problems. The parents had poor skills of how to make a better life. They would bring joy to the daughters & each other, but their long term thought process never kicked in. A good thing was always followed by a bad thing.

Depression, suicidal tendencies, drinking and blaming always interfered in this family. Growing up was difficult for the girls. Scary.

The older sister learned well that blocking the bad memories out allowed her to flourish, although things sometimes haunted her.

The younger Sister constantly tried to fix people. It carried through with her her whole life. When things went wrong she still blamed herself, as that was what she learned.

When a Pleaser allows to be a target, the arrow always finds the target. She will be blamed and take to heart any of the bad that happens.

The little Girl grow up and found ways not to be overwhelm. But she continued to try to fix and save people, animals and things.

She meet a wonderful Prince that turned her world upside down (in a good way). They had two little girls as well and were on their way to "Happily Ever After".

But the past haunts her. The present haunts her.

The girl's parents continue to have problems. They let their problems get enormous and out of control. They are in their golden years but miserable. They pour that out to the girls who want to help and have tried unsuccessfully.

One day the Girl, now a Woman, became frightened. She knew she couldn't handle it anymore. But rather than fall into the same pattern of her parents, she fought back. She let love ones know she was overwhelmed and needed help. Together with their support she was able to become strong, face her demons and realize none of it was her fault. Even when her Father tried once again to take his life, telling her that if anything happened to him it would be her fault. She got professional help and medical help. She let her daughters, who also are now adults know that it is okay, not to be able to burden the worlds problems. That when the going gets tough, you fight back.

Now, with a little something that helps her stabilize her depression, and a wonderful Therapist that makes her feel "normal", she has become a happy person. She enjoys her husband. She enjoys her daughters. She has learned to set boundaries. And best of all, understands, it's not her fault.

Even at 48, I find myself fearing the overwhelming guilt of not being able to "fix" everything. One of the parents, is again, threatening suicide. Throwing the guilt and Damning life. Amazes me that it still can grasp me and shake me up so. I am doing a really good job of keeping my head high and embracing the good things in life. I speak lovingly to the parents. I realize they haven't a clue what they do to me. I pray even harder. But... I also have made peace with myself. "I can't fix people". It's not my job, nor responsibility...


"Raindrops are fallin' on My Head"

The good news is my sun roof will be repaired this weekend,
as soon as the parts come in.
The bad news {other than a Lifetime Warranty doesn't mean squat},
is I could not out run the rain on my way home!
a little wet.. but made me laugh.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Moving Along Slowly

I have anticipated this week as a glorious one. Even though the Hubby is out of town, I seem to flourish getting odd jobs done, writing, and cleaning. I try to get some visiting too as I never seem to have time.
The weekend started off with a BANG.
As I drove home from work, singing along with Diana Krall's CD, I heard a horrible BANGING! Scared the crap out of me and I saw out my rear mirror my Sun Roof fly into the interstate. Luckily the Explorer behind me dodged it before it shattered to the road. I pulled over but the traffic was intense. I decided to move along off the exit. There was no rescuing of the roof, and it appeared no was was hit or having any problem with the pieces of glass on the interstate. 5:30pm isn't exactly the time of day to try to pick up something off the major interstate unless you are suicidal.
The next morning, my car guy, and everyone that works at the dealership, was amazed as they had never seen this happen before. It appears to have literally rusted out. Now, Im not mad. Things happen. This Monte Carlo is a wonderful car that has served me well. The ironic thing is Sergio is trying to talk me into a new car (which I don't think I need till the girls graduate from college). It just so happen, the car in front of me when this happened...was the same type, style & color..except for the interior. I was daydreaming about should I.... when BAM! Is that a sign? The good news of course is that no one got hurt. The bad news, the car is 12 years old and we are experiencing some difficulty in finding parts. It will get done. The other bad news, the warranty cant be honored (long story...boring so I wont bore you).
Bummer.


Sunday, our Beloved 4th of July, I was blessed to meet up with my Sister, Julie, niece Michelle, her boyfriend Dominik (visiting America for the first time from Germany), and my Ms Annie joined us as well for lunch downtown @ Scotty's Brewhouse. I picked this spot as it is about as American as you can get. Plenty of choices for Dominik to try, a great Vegetarian Menu for Julie & Michelle, and for me~ their famous Fried Pickles. {YUMMY!} Then we walked down to the canal, the Monument Circle and just about any other interesting sightseeing spot we could find downtown. I am honored to have gotten this opportunity to meet Dominik. I see what Michelle sees in this charming young man. I see a twinkle in Michelle's eye that I have never seen before. I love seeing this in her. The weather was lovely, the company even better!
Today was icky. Started the day at the Vet. We discovered {yuck} FLEAS on our furry family members. So everyone has been treated and the house as well. That pretty much took all frickin' day long! Ugh... So gross. I feel so bad for our pets. They have been traumatized. They aren't use to it and I think they are embarrassed. ( Lets not tell them I have Blogged about this!)
I am having issues with my Mom lately. I love her so much, but we have drama when she starts getting manic. I friended her on Facebook...nervously. We were "friends" for about a week. Today, I had to block her. I have tried to explain the whole wall vs message thing, but she doesn't understand. She is putting personal information out there that I do not appreciate being on my "wall". It is way too much information!
The interesting thing is, well, people that Blog are exposing themselves but in a controlled way. I give you details but carefully. I never lie or falsify information. I put my heart on my sleeve and pour out my feelings. Most of my followers are strangers. At least we start out that way. I am cautious about letting people close to me "follow" my Blog. I am better about it. I am proud of this Blog, and I am proud of how I have learned to express my feelings and use the blog to validate myself. Some of the stuff I have exposed about myself, I don't want my loved ones to worry or misunderstand. Mom is one of those that I think will misunderstand and worry. She wont' read what I write rather what she think she sees into something. My Mom is over-the-top. She thrives on crisis & her manic behavior tends to elevate everything. Mom has found my Blog. Hello Mom. Oh Boy. I knew she eventually would. I have had it for over two years. So, okay. I am okay with it. I don't know if she has read it all, or just discovered through Facebook how to hit the link & only read the last post. So, I don't know. Nervous, to say the least, about what she thinks of my Blog.
I've been anxious to meet up with Cousin Janet in Chicago Tuesday & Wednesday, but New Jersey got hit with a power outage and that may postpone the trip. :( My girls are hoping I go too. They are excited for me to get out. Janet brings joy to my heart and I am happy around her. Oh, and Emily & Annie are planning a "little party" and well, lets just say, I will be in the way. So hopefully, tomorrow will be a go. Lord knows I need it!
Well, I have chatted way to much. Hope I didn't bore you too much. I have so much more to share, but lets make them into another post or two!





Saturday, July 3, 2010

The End of A Lifetime

Over the past few months I have been consumed by the death of my Uncle and care of my Aunt. I have a dozen Posting to write and a slue of thoughts swimming in my head. I want to express my feelings, yet,I must be respectful and careful on those I tread upon. Many lives have been affected. Many secrets unleashed.

One of the task at hand, settling affairs and handling of the estate.

This is a huge task.

This isn't always handled properly.

I think that most families, particularly families that are not ... close, have many "chiefs" that have their own idea of what is best.

There is also the problem of "no will", or at least, "no will that will see the light of day and hidden from family so that things will be done the way a "chief" wants them done".

I am not saying this was done in my family.... I am just saying it can & does happen in some families.

My head is spinning, my heart is breaking. I have seen a side to people I never knew existed.

So, for the record... if I die, maybe you can witness this, if my will is not found.

How I want my Estate to be handled:
  • My spouse, if alive, and has his faculties, makes the choices first. What he says goes. If I really wanted you to have something, he will know, or he will make it happen. If he questions it, move on.
  • Second in line, who should have that opportunity to go through my things, and have closure, my daughters. Both of them, together, at the same time. If they do not get along, they need to get over it. At least while getting my affairs together. Their husbands & children need to stay out of it too. Let Emily & Annie make decisions. Without the influence of others.
  • Third in line, my Sister. Not my Sister In Laws, not my Brother In Laws. My Sister~ Julie. She has an extremely good head on her shoulders & she is the person that can make the good decisions and get things to move forward.
  • My parents would be next. But, if they would outlive me, I am sure they would be very emotional and want to keep my trash. Don't let them. help them to get their closure and get out.
  • Nieces, nephews, cousin, In Laws, friend of families, the Fix It Man, everyone else, don't even think about it! The above people will let you know if they have something I wanted you to have, or something they thought you would want. Otherwise, you can have first run at the stuff that will be sold or given away. It is not a free for all. If there is an Estate Sale or such, there is a reason. Money may be needed for care of spouse, or divided up for my daughters.

Estate sales are not only taxing and tiring, they are emotional. It's hard to part with "stuff". It's hard to give something away at a fraction of it's value. Tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff, evaporating into pennies. Stuff that is dated does not go for top dollar unless it goes into the vintage - antique category. That really cool lamp made with marbles, or the very expensive sleeper-sofa that weighs a ton is junk now. Just because you love it doesn't mean a buyer will.

Feelings will be hurt. And skeletons will come out. It's an end of a lifetime. Do your family a favor and have things prepared.

Now, I must get that will updated! You never know!

Catch Up

Oh my Gosh! I have been so MIA.
Since February I have been trying to give my extra time to visiting with my Aunt Nancy. Well, she has now transferred to Oklahoma and I will start to have a little more time to write.
I have also had much other "stuff" on my plate. Sometimes, it is too difficult to write, and sometimes I just don't feel like it. The Blog has been a wonderful source of comfort to me and I am so grateful for all of you for your shoulder to cry on ans well as the opportunity to laugh my booty off with you.
So, please bare with me, as I play catch up and go back to some Post that I started, and not finished.
But first.... I gotta change this background to something more me, maybe even find my lost one.

xoxo