Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Loss & Gain

I haven't been around much. My writing has been "blocked".  Mostly a writers block.  I have the words (so many words) but felt unable to pour my heart out.
I feel censored.
I feel judged.
I feel a loss.

I can't really explain.  It is mostly emotional, but also I felt that no one would want to hear or understand my gibberish.  Have you ever felt that way?

Nothing is wrong, yet everything is wrong.

It's a new day, but, it's a NEW day.

See? I was afraid I might not make sense.

I also have been busy. We bloggers try to make time to write more often. I was doing well to write every couple days for a while. But then, with work, home & life... we get busy.

I have been sick too. nothing serious. Just a nasty cold.  My stupid ankle is still jacked up and tonight I will don heels (4 inch stilettos) for a Cocktail Party we will attend. now, I haven't worn heels for two months because of this injured ankle, but tonight I will push the envelope. I mean seriously, Who can wear a cocktail dress without great high heels?

I have been on a job Merry Go Round. I was offered a transfer, (which I gladly accepted) but it got delayed. Then it was denied. I was so looking forward to starting in this department. But, the hammer came down. As of two weeks from now, all contractors, will have completed the "projects". We all got the, "Thank you for your service, we won't be needing you anymore as of 10/29."  We knew it was only a matter of time. When a company puts a job freeze on positions and only hires "contracted employees" you know it's all about saving the company money. And they can cut you loose at any time.

Lots of stuff happening.

I gotta get my mojo going.

I need to write~ it's so comforting.

I have so many pieces that need to be finished, and so many thoughts cramped up in my crazy little head.

Be gentle with me... I am going to try to get back in the grove.


Ziongirl said...

Love You!♥♥♥

lakeviewer said...

Oh, that plate is just too full! Take your time, get well. Easy on the high heels, too.

Linda said...

Yes, yes, I can totally relate to all that you've shared :) I've always enjoyed reading your blog and sometimes when we think we don't have the words, they just come out anyway and reach others. ♥

Pammy Sue said...

Crochet is comforting and soothing too! Try that for awhile if you can't write. Just do something simple like a lap blanket done with all double crochet's. If you need (and want) more info than that, let me know. I'd be happy to help you get started.

You don't always have to write about something deep or meaningful either! Lighten up and just give us a recipe or just tell us what you did that day or something just plain silly. Sometimes that will help you break the ice of writer's block so that you can go deeper if you need to.

An English Shepherd said...

gibberish is my middle name ;-)


JC said...

You mean life got in the way of your blogging. Say it isn't so ... me too.