Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Let Me Explain The Way I See It

~This is sort of a disclaimer.~

I was very private about my Blog for the first couple of years. I started it on June 6th 2007.

Before starting the Blog, my Grandma Kitty use to get snail mail letters from me for many years up to her death. She often told me she loved the way I told my stories. That she always felt right there and on the edge of her seat. I amused her. I made her laugh. She loved that I held nothing back & told it like it was.

After she passed, my Aunt Linda and I started emailing each other. At Grandma Kitty's Funeral, I told Linda that I was so happy for her life, however, my selfish side wondered,who was I going to send my letters to now? They were so helpful and habit forming for me. Linda quickly volunteered to fill that void. We became closer over the years through our emails. She told me she loved the emails. I made her laugh, I held nothing back, I wasn't afraid to tell it like I see it. She told me I needed to write a book.

My Bestie Sheri went to her annual Writer's Conference in New York the spring of 2006. She learned about this new world...Blog World. She was determined to start a Blog. She did. It was Amazing! And I saw how proud and therapeutic it was to her. She kept encouraging me to give it a try.

My Bestie Deb was right there as well, pushing me, encouraging me giving me the strength to give it a whirl.

Once I got comfortable, I started finding others and they started finding me! I was amazed to find people across this big ole world of ours interested in little ole me. I found that others felt and experienced some of the same things I did.

I always tried to be careful in my writing. I wasn't ready for "loved ones" other than the Besties, and Aunt Linda to read. Slowly I gave the website to others. Then people started finding me. Friends from High School, friends from college.

The coolest thing was I was making new friends in this loving Blog World where we listen, we lend a shoulder, we laugh, we relate. We started following each other and getting and giving awards.

I felt good. Really good about finding a niche. Expressing myself. And validation.

If you read my blog, really read it, I think you will find I am just an average person, coping with things the best I can. Finding resolutions, finding joy and sharing fun stuff.

I knew a day would come when some people would find my writings not to their liking. I had a few stalker-ish weirdo's and a few mean people with nothing better to do than say mean things. Mostly I have found love, friendship and respect. To hear someone tell me that what I wrote helped them or gave them joy made things feel good in life to me. I have never had someone that I knew, tell me I offended them. I always seek permission from Sergio & my daughters before writing about them. As well as friends.

My folks were another story. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to share this with them. I want them to be proud. I want them to be wowed. BUT... I don't know what mood I will get with them from day to day. I don't want them to misunderstand my writing. I don't want them to get hurt feelings. I do want them to see how proud I am of what they HAVE achieve, and to see how we get through what we have been dealt.

Recently my Mom has discovered my Blog. She did at the same time we had a disagreement concerning Facebook privacy. I have been anxious to hear what she thought about my Blog. I hoped she would be proud and "get it".

She hadn't been available for my calls. She emailed my sister and asked her to give the info to me. She finally spoke to me when I called, but was distant and careful with the conversation.

Today I got a cute card, and a letter from Mom. My letter stress' "she is sorry that my childhood was so awful. And that we stressed each other out." She said that she is glad that I have found ways to deal with it and wishes me good luck with the book. That now that she has knowledge received from my Blog, she can understand my feelings of discomfort with her and that maybe we can be close like we once were.

Mom didn't understand my writing. She only saw what she wanted to out of it.

Mom, if you are reading this, maybe you need to know this:

If you read my whole Blog, close to six hundred postings, you may have missed the fact that I write about alot of things, not just about my childhood and a "poor me" read.

I have written about:

  1. Health issues 5%,
  2. Product reviews and recommendations 5%,
  3. Honoring people that I admire 10%,
  4. Menopause & growing old 15%,
  5. Funny things & thoughts 15%,
  6. Friendships 25%
  7. Family {including my daughters, my marriage, my growing up, Sis & parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, & cousins} 25%

I have readers and followers from across the globe. My regular followers that comment~ friends from California to New York. Wisconsin to Texas. Canada, United Kingdom, South Africa, France, India, Germany, Philippines, and an Military Base in Iraq. They like what I write. They can relate. They can get a smile. They come back for more. I have a MapLog so I can monitor where reader's are coming from and where. {yes I see when you are on Mom}.

I have gotten awards. Kindof goofy to some. Overkill to others. To me, I am so honored! Over the past couple of years I have received five awards. "Kreativ Blogger", "Honest Scrap", "Beautiful Blogger", "Sugar Doll", and "Your Imagination Is A Gift". I am so PROUD! I can not say thank you enough to my readers! The comments are so encouraging and enlightening. They make me laugh back and make me feel so lucky to have these "Blog friends". I have followers that are young ( a couple of teens) up to some friends in their golden years.

As for luck on the book, thank you~ I already published it. As A Birthday gift to myself. I posted about it here recently.

I have no problem with my parents reading this Blog. Even if they are not proud nor understand what I am saying with it, maybe they will one day. I have many people encouraging me to keep writing. I wish I was braver to put it all out there, but out of respect to others that may not want things "out there" I carefully choose my topics and curb my tongue when necessary.

Thank you to those of you that love me and my Blog.


Lori ann said...

Dear Janis,
you are a very brave and beautiful woman. I have so much respect for you, the way you live your life, the mother and wife you are, the friend. And so, even though i have no idea what kind of daughter you are, i can take a very good guess. I am glad to know you, and so happy we "found" each other.
You should be proud. Oh, and congratulations on your book! that is so exciting. I'd like to make one too.

xoxo, lori

An English Shepherd said...

I do agree blogs are nice. Its a whole world out there waiting to be discovered :-)

But I do think the most important thing is bloggs should make you happy :-)


Ziongirl said...

Janis, You have written a book? I am so very proud of you. I talk about doing it but...well....haven't done it as of yet! I think of you often and I so love that we have become blogging friends. I am often not courageous enough to write about my feelings on my blog. It has mainly been a place for photos..but someday I hope to have the courage I find in you to really express myself. You are a wonderful special spirit! Hugs.. and of course alot of blessings. Brooke

Mary said...

I had the same feelings before letting my blog get out there. And there have been times I was hesitant to post to my blog because it was more than just me. I guess the biggest reason I started it was with the idea of getting my thoughts down on paper someday. Will print a book when I get more posts. So many thoughts are gone in an instant these days, texts, emails and voice mails are delete gone, in an instant. I wanted something to last for my kids.

A human kind of human said...

I started my blog originally with the idea of telling my children about me (that is the me that was before they were born), and the people, places and things in my own life that was dear to me. However, I soon realised that to do that, I would have to write about things that would hurt other or reflect badly on them (important others, I might add) and I started writing about whatever took my fancy at the time. However, I still feel a need (more and more often) to write my story, the real ME-story, and I am currently playing around with the idea of starting a password protected blog. So yes Janis, once again you posted about something that is very near my heart and I admire you for your courage in putting yourself out there... more so because I do not have the same courage.

janis said...

Thanks for the support.
Blog World is good to me. I love my family, but I don't think they get Blogs.
As for the Blog Book, yes, I am proud of it :) It was just something for me, but so gratifying.
I have a separate Blog that is not open. It is for the girls one day... It only has a couple of post, but one day I will get brave and put more into it. I think I owe it to them so they can understand things. Especially, later. I have so many questions memories and ahh hah moments that I am now discovering. It helps to connect the dots!

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