Thursday, February 4, 2010

deep breaths

I am starting to get anxious...
My plate is not overflowing, but I have learned to pick up on my symptoms. My right wrist starts shaking, I sit with crossed legs bouncing them, I get that worried scowl across my forehead...

Certain things do trigger it.

I know that one of the things is the uncertainty of my Temp job. Everyone acts like it is all good... No plans to send any of us away, however, the other building (same corporation) just gave their Temps the 30 day notice and now they are gone.
I did apply to a permanent position yesterday, but so did tons of others, surely many of those Temps that just got sent Bye~Bye. BUT, I have to be optimistic and I am so glad I threw my hat into the ring.

Sergio sold his Snow plow last week. It was bitter sweet. It was not as profitable as we had hoped. Given the years he has had them, we have had record low snow falls.
We knew as soon as we did, a big snow would come. We are expecting 4-8 inches staring tomorrow morning.

One of the Girls is stressing through a situation or two at school. Decisions, decisions. She will get through it, making the right choices I am sure. But she is hard on herself, and overwhelmed. I sat listening to her call the other night, trying to get her to calm down. It was difficult to understand through the tears. She will be fine, she will become stronger through her trials. BUT, I still just wanted to jump in a car and hurry up there to hug her and make everything all right.

Frustrations over another loved one that insist on making things difficult for others. Their need to go on and on with theory and actualizations. Trying to force their opinion onto others and hurt "loved ones" along the way. Speaking of others ill-advised.
"Shit-stirrer". That's what the Hubby says. I am so upset about this person upsetting others, (me included). It is making me sick...

...and that is just part of my anxieties lately.

Worry worry worry...

Why do I do it?

I know better. I know it will not help. It will not change the situations.

It is times like this that the walls feel like they are starting to close in on me. I have to take a little pill that makes me relax and remember to breath again.

I will be fine. I will be strong.


AmyAmyAmy said...

My Mom once tried to referee a dispute between my girls (they were 6 & 3 at the time). The 3 y.o. stopped her and said "Grandma, this is not your problem." She has used it as her mantra ever since. Free yourself of unnecessary burdens. We love you.

Anonymous said...

here is a hug for you...O, and another..O. I'd make them bigger if I could, but no matter how hard I hit the o key it only gets this big- O!
I found your books! They were right beside my desk chair! Ha! (snake bite)

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God.
The creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
one of my favorite Scripture verses
xo mary d

janis said...

Thank you Girls... Mary..lets get together soon, its been too long!