Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Baby Steps

I had a visit with my wonderful counselor today. Just the fact that I see someone about my depression and anxiety kindof freaks me out. Part of me feels that I should be able to handle what life brings me without having this type of assistance. But part of me, is proud that I was able to see that I was out of balance and needed to get help.

I have always been the rescuer. The problem solver. The one that saw the brighter side of the picture. I never thought i would be on the other side of the fence. I recently wrote about Compassion Fatigue and I think that learning about this has been helpful. I know that I am getting better and although they are baby steps, I am going to be fine.

Sometimes, my counselor, makes me see things I don't want to confront. But, she has also helped me to learn to like myself as well as find myself.

I think that the important thing that I hope my daughters, husband, and anyone that may know me or have someone in their life that is struggling with depression will learn is this. It is okay to feel hopeless and overwhelmed, but you also need to know when it is okay to ask for help and not feel ashamed to receive it.

Depression is what it is. It's an extreme feeling of melancholy. Simply things can cause it and it can overcome you fast. It isn't anyone's fault. I just fell into it.

I am picking myself up, brushing myself off and starting all over again.


lakeviewer said...

You are the lucky one, who can face what you feel. Most people just get morose and carry the weight of their feelings without opening up and asking for relief and insight. You were smart and pro-active,went to a counselor, someone who deals with this situation all the time.

Most of us will be severely depressed many times in a life span. Expectations and shame can trap up forever.

sroman said...

A little help is on the way. This weekend will not cure what ails you but you will have some laughter and girlfriend support. Hang in there.

Natalie said...

Lakeviewer is right, Janis.

Good for you, and good on you! There should be more like you. :D xx

Fire Byrd said...

It never ceases to amaze me as a therapist how many ofmy clients are the carers of other peoples stress.
Good for you to be finally putting yourself and your needs first.

Hope you have a wonderful time with yor girlfriends this weekend.