Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Speaking of Tattoos

First let me say, this is NOT my daughter!

Emily asked me the other day if I would "hate her if she got another tattoo". I said, Yes! This from a Mom that always chose my battles carefully. Why does it bother me so much? She is almost 20 years old. Quite capable of making good decisions. Or is she?

She has made a few mistakes. She is a very good girl and I am proud of her. But, she asked. Of course I won't hate her. How could I? I love her unconditionally. But I feel pretty strong about this.

The first tattoo, was thought out carefully. She researched it for months. Picked a respectable Tattoo Shop. And she can cover it up. (It is on her foot). Also, she chose the word "Faith" rather than a guy's name or some stupid cartoon or trendy symbol.

I have heard that tattoos are addicting. That's odd. Why would someone need to continue to mark their body? If they are addicting, will she want another, then another, then another till she does look like this girl in the picture?

When she approached us about getting the first, she was very mature and self confidant about why she wanted this. I could have sworn she promised just the one. Or maybe that was her Dad, saying don't come tell us you are going to get another.

If Emily reads this, I want her to know that I hope she will think hard about getting another. What is cool today will not look so hot at 40. I have friends that would be happy to back this up and show you what you don't want to see. My friend that got a Rose on her hip at 19 is now in her 40's. She told me that after two pregnancies, and 20 some years, "it's not so pretty anymore". An invitation to see the future.

I love her no matter what. Removing them later will be costly and painful.

Please don't do it!


Linda said...

"An invitation to see the future".. I love that, Jan. And I couldn't agree with you more, as a Mom and a woman who is simply not fond of tattoos. Still, we love unconditionally. :-) There are some things that my nearly 13-year-old asks me for from time to time and the answer is always a simple no. There will come a day when I no longer have that option, since she will be making her own choices. Still, it's always good to speak from experience and hope that they might see the truth in it. I really enjoy your blog! Great writing!

kim said...

Hi Jan, I had to add that my sister got a tattoo at a young age ..a rose on her ankle..now she hates it! Also, my 29 year old niece has a fairly small one on her back, hates it and had to buy special makeup to cover it for her wedding! Sure is a big decision!!
Love Kim

janis said...

Emily does love her Faith tattoo. it is pretty, I guess, as tattoos go, but it is bigger than I had expected it to be. To see hers go back to last spring I think I titled it "The Tattoo". Also, she had always loved the name Faith and I am thinking she will not be naming her Child that now. It would seem as though she named her daughter after the tat.

kim said...

I didn't mean to imply that either Felecia or Brooke hated their Tattoos when they got them or anytime soon afterwards, they now hate them years later. We all know how very much we change as we grow older. We learn,change from it and sometimes wish we could go back..thats life...I guess?

Anonymous said...

Funny timing; I just extended my first tattoo yesterday < yes I said the first one> here is some advice from the other side of the fence to share with your daughter.

I love tattoos the girl’s art in your picture is beautiful; Kat on LA Ink is gorgeous. I would be covered head to toe if not for my wife she is not a fan of them and I listen to that lady. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Emily did well to do her tattoo a little larger, small letters do not hold up well with time.

Yes mom they are addictive and that is the only reason she asked you about another so soon. The answer should be no. I have three kids 21, 16, and 13 the older two ask questions the answer is no. < For now>
Live life and then ask me.

Things to tell her:

1. A tattoo if done for the right reason becomes a part of you mine are family reasons. I used to ride with a lot of bikers theirs are earned. To go out and get another quickly after the first one is for the love of the attention and not the art. Not a good reason.

2. If done with full thought you will enjoy your tattoo. The one I extended yesterday was almost twenty years old. I still love mine because it means as much at 47 as it did at 27.

3. Never get one because you can always remove it!

4.I hire people for high paid positions on two occasions I have talked to qualified ladies and caught a glimpse of their tattoo and did not grant them a second interview for that reason alone. This coming from someone that loves ink. My thought here is simple; if you do not have a tattoo you will not offend anyone. But if you have one you may offend one of my customers with out knowing and they will leave. AT twenty years of age do not limit your opportunities now.


Anonymous said...

Wow-- this brought your biggest responses to date!

I worked with a former colleague who was quite the biker chick in her younger days. She ended up becoming a nurse and joined our sales team many years after several arm and calf tatoos. Although easily covered up-- she was tired of being constantly conscious of this in the professional world and made the decision to have them removed.

This was back in 1997 and technology has come a long way-- but the areas that were removed I thought looked worse than if she just left well enough alone. They looked like chemical burns. Her tatoos were pretty tame--nothing gaudy or vulgar.

I guess the moral of the story is "Be Careful What you Wish For"

She did go on to become quite the executive for a large insurance company-- so a good ending.


Anonymous said...

im glad you wont hate me... at least im not covered in tattoos like that girl or a druggie. there could be qorst things than me getting another one. xoxo

Lisha said...

My daughter Kelsey was bound and determined that she was going to get a tattoo. She had just turned 19 and no amount of rationalizing with her would do. While we were at the beach last summer, she went to a tattoo parlor that was across the street from our condo and got her tattoo. She got three small chinese symbols on the inside of her wrist. They mean "peace, love, happiness". I wasn't happy but if she had to get one, I'm glad she chose something that is mild and easily hidden. She's an adult..what can you do? Just give them the best advice you can, hope they make the right decision and love them unconditionally.