Friday, September 19, 2008

Simple Rules

Okay. I try not to be anal. I try not to be controlling. BUT there are some simple RULES OF LIFE everybody should just get. Can we give out instruction manuals? Here is what I am complaining about:

IN PUBLIC:
1. You are not allowed to touch yourself inappropriately. I don't care if you have an "itch". Go to the restroom in do it in private.
2. Stay out of my personal space. Especially if you are a stranger. ARMS LENGTH. Get the hell back!
3. Get off my Ass. That personal space goes for driving too. Don't tailgate me. I am liable to slam on my brakes just because you are pissing me off.
4. You are not ever ever ever allowed to clip your nails in public. To me that is like picking your nose. I don't want to see your clippings flick ever where.
5. Cashiers, please don't flip through my magazine I am purchasing. That isn't for your pleasure. And frankly I am not interested in your opinion about who is on the cover.
6. Parents, take your whining, crying child out of the restaurant. I didn't come out to dinner to hear this. If I could teach manners to my children, you can too. Going to eat is a treat, lets keep it that way for ALL of us.
7. Co-workers, neighbors, & acquaintances. stop gossiping. I don't care nor need to know this information about others. It just makes me wonder what you talk about me to others.

AT HOME:
1. Pick up YOUR stuff. If you put there, you pick it up. We do not have maid service here.
2. Please close the toilet lid. The pets think they can drink from it & there is a cleaner that can make them sick in there.
3. DON'T use my towel.
4. If you can rinse a dish off and set it on the counter, why can't you set it "in" the dishwasher?
5. Empty water bottles go in the trash can, not where ever you finished drinking it.
6. Wipe down the sink when you finish using it.
7. The pets would love for you to feed them & clean the liter box. They think Mom shouldn't always do it.
8. Make your bed!
9. Turn things off when you are done.
10. STAY OFF MY COMPUTER

These are just a few simple rules that Everyone should live by. Got any to add?

3 comments:

Kim said...

Now I know why I'm crazy!! LOL!!
At least 7 to 10 rules are broken everyday in my house full of men!
I love you!!

sroman said...

Great lists. Your best post so far.

I would add on the public list: Unless I've asked your opinion, don't comment on what I'm eating or how salt is the devil's spice.

On the home list:
We don't have a laundry fairy. Maybe someone else could do a load here and there (including folding and putting it away.) Maybe someone else could go to the dry cleaners.

emily said...

arms length... haha you always freak out about that. i like how at home 2,4,5, & 6 are all for dad. ps ellie uses my towels. SICK. she doesn't have any for herself. gross, i don't know how to not let her use them. i think sheri's slat rule should go on there. and what about at home: 11. there are more shows on than CSI, can i please have a turn? love you