tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56179073691066309622024-03-14T00:23:57.906-04:00just breathe janis (chapter 60)janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.comBlogger864125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-47999451915441863912023-02-26T10:00:00.002-05:002023-02-26T10:01:02.805-05:00Chapter 60 (plus 252 days)<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhx2DmRr1DIzFV_uvvsPQnd9whgxNxpdXpJSV1MIPjQFazcI3OT7sL0_h_CaV2sZCRHwIB6ixJb27QSXLjwzxLvwv58FhpnKuUbb9zOU-C8_zwW2T7XhaVWISsKYRY24rXqimNttHATD1r-CBJHO30tpiXiXjp-uD0jXLzVKKw93Uqgv9uGKz4M3iQ/s640/IMG_0876.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="618" data-original-width="640" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhx2DmRr1DIzFV_uvvsPQnd9whgxNxpdXpJSV1MIPjQFazcI3OT7sL0_h_CaV2sZCRHwIB6ixJb27QSXLjwzxLvwv58FhpnKuUbb9zOU-C8_zwW2T7XhaVWISsKYRY24rXqimNttHATD1r-CBJHO30tpiXiXjp-uD0jXLzVKKw93Uqgv9uGKz4M3iQ/s320/IMG_0876.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><br />It’s been so long since I was a devoted Blog writer. I miss writing. I feel a piece of me has been missing since I stopped. But things happen, and well, I needed to stop when I did. Starting back up has been more difficult than I intended. I thought I could & would just start typing my thoughts back out as I once did. Do I play catch up? Or do I start from present? Do I go to Just Breathe Janis, & just go? I stumble. I fall. I fail.<p></p><p>So today, I decided to start over. A second time. Same intention but a new format. A new beginning. A fresh start. So here we are. Just Breathe Janis Chapter 60. Seems to be fitting since I’ve turned 60 this year. So much has changed since Just Breathe Janis. And I’ll catch up slowly. I’m hoping some of my old followers will find me. And we can rekindle connections.</p><p>Life. What a roller coaster. Highs and lows. Twist and turns. We never really know what is to come. We have ideas, we have dreams, and we have hope. For me, I have all the above. But, it took me to learn to trust my journey and not fret so much when it goes differently than planned. I’ve had some beautiful blessings hidden amongst the sadness. </p><p>I’m in a good place. It is well with my soul. I’m happy. I’m healthy. I’m fortunate. I’m blessed. My life is far from perfect. It’s very scattered. But I’m more confident and at peace with this life handed to me. </p><p>I’ve discovered balance is certainly in place in my life. Life use to be unbalanced. But I now understand how to see more. I’ve opened up & realize there is this center. And I will look for the good that comes from something not so wonderful.</p><p>xoxo</p>janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-84196209013241643262019-01-02T11:30:00.002-05:002019-01-02T11:33:32.577-05:00Advice for 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My teeny tiny advice for 2019...</div>
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~be kind</div>
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~be brave</div>
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~be good</div>
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~be noble</div>
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~be humble</div>
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~be smart</div>
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~be honest</div>
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~be helpful </div>
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~be yourself</div>
janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-49209837397463762802018-12-31T15:18:00.000-05:002018-12-31T15:19:15.749-05:00The Candy Dish<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I was in High School, my best friend lived around the corner. I loved going to her house. She was an only child, and that itself was fascinating to me. She didn't have to share a room, clothes, stuff... She had privacy, but yet she also always had her parents watching over her. Her parents were wonderful.<br />
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Our neighborhood, kind of had this unwritten rule, where all of the parents helped raising us... and discipline us. We were just as scared of them catching us be naughty as our own parents. I feel that I was very blessed in that we did have that kind of a neighborhood. I always felt that every one of the adults looked out for us, contributed to our growth and gave us an extra bit of love. I felt that if I needed something, rather it be a glass of water, or a bit of advice I got it from a number of these dear neighbors.<br />
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I guess, in a lot of ways, my parents were the cool parents. They were always the delightful parents. From being headquarters of the neighborhood water fight, to just a fun place to hang out. They also allowed kids to smoke at there house (my sister smoked & my parents rather her do it at home than in the streets sneaking..)so that also contributed to some hanging out there. My parents always had food to share with the neighborhood kids. And always welcomed everyone. My parents were there to listen and lend a helping hand.<br />
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Some of the neighbor kids, had the parents that were never home, and that was often a "fun" place to hand out. Some always had something to teach us. And some were there to give us their valued opinions and advice. Some were just there for us, and we felt safe.<br />
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When I think back, my best friend, she had the strict parents. Few were allowed to be there when a parent wasn't home (I did earn that trust with them). Her parents, always had to know who, when, where, and why. It always annoyed my friend. Especially, because I was chatty and often told too much to the parents. Her Dad was about the kindest and most handsome of the parents. While her Mom, I always thought she was Liz Taylor beauty mixed with just the smartest of all our parents... but also not here to be our friend rather than a parent. In which I later found myself following suit as I raised my daughters. Her Mom... definitely gets the blue ribbon in being a great Mom!<br />
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One of my favorite memories about going over to my best friends house, is that they had a candy dish. Her Mom ALWAYS had a little something in it. ALWAYS. Not once do I remember it being empty. Also... I was always welcomed to have a piece or two. There was something about that Candy Dish and it always having a little something for sharing that stuck to me. I carried the memories into my own home and have always had a Candy Dish available for anyone to have a piece of heaven to devour. My girls grew up not necessarily craving candy as it was something always available.<br />
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Candy Dishes. They say WELCOME! ENJOY! & FEEL COMFORT. I rarely see them anymore. Except at my house... and my dear best friends Mom's house♥<br />
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I hope to carry this tradition as long as I have a home and a Candy Dish to fill.janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-86067959427044472282018-12-27T16:15:00.000-05:002018-12-27T16:15:07.558-05:00Navigating New Chapters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
My journey as Dad's Caregiver has been an emotional one. This man, my Father, has had my heart all my life. He has been handicapped since I was nine months old, so I don't remember him "before the accident". Too me, growing up with a Father that walked stiff, lost his balance often, and had depression issues, was my normal. He still was kind, funny and enjoyed life. Mostly thanks to my Mom, who kept everything together & gave her all so we were a happy family.</div>
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<span style="text-align: right;">His diagnosis of Dementia came back in 2010. Mom was concerned as we were noticing some struggles. Both Dad's Mom and Sister had Alzheimer and it made sense to have some testing so we could prepare and learn how to best approach it and make things better for Dad's quality of life. </span><br />
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<span style="text-align: right;">Dad managed very well. He surprised us with his independent living skills following Mom's death in 2012, and managed to be productive in a semi-assisted living facility for a couple years. Eventually, he needed more care and we moved him into an Assisted Living that had nurses to handle his medical needs as well as a more careful eye on him as he continued to have independent living in a nice efficiency apartment. We started to see more and more trouble and confusion in 2017. Then in the early morning of December 29th, 2017, with temperatures below zero, he was found wearing only a pair of shorts, t-shirt and his tennis shoes, wheeling his wheelchair through the parking lot frantically searching for a green Ford he said he needed to get moved. It is thought he had been outside for approximately an hour. He remained in the hospital for two weeks treating pneumonia, then was transferred to a Rehabilitation facility before his landing in a current Memory Care Home. It was determined the exposure to the extreme temperatures accelerated his memory loss as well. Once the brain cells "die" there isn't any recovery for them. There are different levels of dementia and Alzheimers. Dad is in the most functioning unit at Harrison Terrace. He is in what is called The Augusta Cottages of American Senior Communities.They offer programs specializing in the different needs of residents that are going through memory loss. Depending on how fast this disease takes over him, will determine which plan is best for him. He currently is living in a co-ed floor. He has a dear roommate (actually Roommate number 5 in just a years time).. this place can be a revolving door and unfortunately many people with memory loss stop "thriving" and move to another unit where they pretty much keep them as comfortable as possible as death is inevitable. Some will become aggressive, agitated or violent. Some will be forgetful but </span>functioning. My Dad is this way. He has good days and bad. He can no longer remember many simple things yet he can tell you in great detail something mechanical or something that happened once upon a time. The worst is the days seeing him forget that Mom has died. He will ask where is she, or why did she "leave" him. He doesn't always remember what city we are in, where he is or lives, will worry he is "homeless" and frets about having bus fare to get home after work. He also mixes up facts with things that didn't happen. Or will grasp onto a memory thinking that time is now. For instance, the green Ford he wanted to have moved the night they found him outside... we connected that with his memories from the 80's working for a company that had car rentals. He often gets "stuck" in his memories from the past mixing with current time.<span style="text-align: right;">Seeing someone you love, struggling with simple things we take for granted is heart-breaking. He will grasp onto something familiar, and while the details are incorrect.. to him it is correct. I notice with Dad, his biggest hurdles are dates, time, anything involving numbers. I wasn't sure he could read any more, but sometimes... it's still there, and he will read something, anything in front of him. But his love of "reading", his interest in magazines, history, fun facts... it's gone. </span><br />
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<span style="text-align: right;">His storytelling... well, Dad was always a kidder and exaggerated facts. But it's a whole new level as he tells elaborated stories about residents and staff. In his mind, he doesn't live in a "nursing home" but works there... And I am lucky that the wonderful staff there goes along with it. He believes he has been promoted to a position that gives comfort & calms others. He talks to them and assures them. He also will get assistance for residents when they need something. And when he has time, he will help the staff pass out napkins and silverware.</span><br />
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<span style="text-align: right;">He loves for me to bring Mocha when I visit. (He never was a coffee drinker previously, but I just go with it.) We will chat, I listen to his newest stories about his "co-workers". Usually ready for me to go as he will say he needs to get back to work. There have been a few times that it wasn't so easy to leave. One time he wouldn't let go of me. That is when it breaks your heart the most. He carries a "stack" of cards that have my name and number. He claims they are his work papers. It is a bit of a security I guess for him and the staff knows he is allowed to call me whenever he wants. </span><br />
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<span style="text-align: right;">His prognosis isn't great. He continues to choke on food and even saliva. He is not swallowing properly, and is on a mechanical soft diet. We are told eventually, he will forget how to swallow </span><span style="text-align: right;"> as his body continues to forget to function. It is frightening, but seeing him have his good days, feeling successful with his "job", and making friends... brings joy to my heart. They guy is a charmer. Everyone at Harrison Terrace loves him. Staff and residents. </span><span style="text-align: right;">I just want him to be happy and safe. He deserves to be happy. Sometimes I will see that happiness, but usually it is more contentment. I will take what I can get. </span>janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-28616048145778149512018-12-24T10:52:00.000-05:002018-12-24T10:52:08.057-05:00Just PRAY Janis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So much has happened since I last wrote. I will try to review things as I get back to writing here in my Blog.<br />
<br />
Over time.<br />
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It's hard to jump back in... you think of where do I begin? How do I catch up?<br />
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Last night I could not sleep, for the umpteen time. My brain was on fire. I had so many things I was trying to comprehend. I lay there having quite the conversation with God. My prayers became just that... a conversation. I was so very consumed with troubling things. Particularly where and why God was becoming vague within so many I loved. Somehow, over the course of world issues, especially here in the United States, people have become so callus. Not only looking the other way, but accepting the horrible things that have become tolerated and even encouraged by our embarrassing president.<br />
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{<i>Yeah... I'm going there. I am not only a Democrat but I am a human that believes we should all be equal regardless to race, religion, gender, marital status, or identity.</i>}<br />
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As I laid in my bed, tears slowly falling... I asked God to help me to understand. To help me to know what I need to do? How can I help? I also did my share of begging to help some loved ones find there way back to His loving arms. I can't wrap my head around the thought of not having God lead me & help me to trust His plan for me. My walk hasn't been horrible, but I certainly had my share of stumbles and a few valleys to cross. While I had believe at the time, perhaps my path, or rather how I accept & trust my path, would be an example to others that are watching, and maybe inspire them to have better relationships with God. But then I realized how vain that was & remembered it is not about me. So here I am.<br />
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Where do I go from here? My personal life is really very Blessed. I am in a good place. My Hubby and I are better than ever, after 32 years of marriage. My oldest Daughter is living Happily Ever After with her darling Husband, not far from us. My youngest is living her dream in sunny California with her Fiance and we are planning a wedding for the coming year. My Dad is safe and continent living nearby in the most wonderful Memory Care Residence. Hubby is retired & I get to continue a great job working from home. We are healthy (for the most part).<br />
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So why am I distraught? Why the anxiety? Oh Honey... if the News doesn't scare you... you are one of the reasons I am so troubled. I need to figure this out. Once upon a time, when I struggled with depression, self worth and anxiety, I was introduced to this little (at the time) world of Blogs. It is a different animal these days... the Blogworld I was so affectionate over seems to be hidden under many layers of Blogs today. However, I know what this outlet can do for me. And maybe it is really about me... here anyway. A porthole to finding some relief, some comfort or even some resolution and answers to what I am looking for.<br />
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I am coming home to my Blogworld. Like a long lost friend welcoming me back. I am the same person I was when I started Just Breathe Janis so many years ago.... but I have grown, I have gotten stronger, wiser and mindful.<br />
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Just Pray Janis... and then you can Breathe again.<br />
<br />janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-3003614160102110462017-01-26T11:31:00.000-05:002019-01-02T11:37:42.417-05:00dear friends...dear friends...<br />
Allow me to explain my heavy heart.<br />
On a day we bid farewell to the best president we have ever been graced with.<br />
My confusion.. my disappointment... my wtf moments...<br />
My plan was to stay away from social media, television, print, and radio for the most part & try to wrap my head around what just happened. But to my dismay, I am witnessing some changes already that are fucking terrifying me.<br />
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Let me step back for a few minutes and set my stage.<br />
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My Maternal Great Grandmother... I remember growing up & her tell me stories of women's suffrage. She grew up understanding it.. IT actually started in 1848 but not until 1920 was it ratified. 1920! My Great Grandmother had incredible stories to tell me. I felt so blessed to have her throughout my childhood into young adult.<br />
My Fraternal Great Grandmother... got pregnant as a teen and had a shot gun wedding. So did her daughter, her son, and her granddaughter... these women were not whores.. they were young women that did not have contraception....It wasn't available. Some of these weddings lasted, some did not...<br />
The women in our lives went through many hard pregnancies and miscarriages. They did not have options. <br />
My Father... has been handicap since I was nine months old. I grew up witnessing how the world evolved in prejudice of those that are not as "capable" as a regular Joe. I now am his caregiver and he resides in Assisted Living. Where might I add... even though he worked his entire life.. and never took disability... he now uses a small supplement from medicaid<br />
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My Mother... had to grow up fast, from having a mentally unstable parent being bounced from home to home, molested as a teen, and having a marriage to a "crippled" husband & two daughters under the age of three by time she was 22 yrs AND deal with a woman's place in the 60's. She passed away four years ago at the age of 71.<br />
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My childhood... slightly dysfunctional (see above), throw in a mentally unstable Grandmother that lives with your household, being too thin, too tall & having a speech impediment, being bullied (from being called Daughter of Frankenstein, to getting beat up daily for 2 years from a neighbor boy while not one single other kid/friend stepped in and stopped it (better her than I), to being molested by adults you are suppose to be able to trust, suicidal parents, and financial dismay. I have a couple of years of college under my belt.<br />
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My family... my husband of 30 years is Hispanic. Born in Mexico. He has been both a laborer as well as white collar professional.. in fact a highly respected leader. He has worked harder than anyone I have ever met. Recently retired, but still never stops working. Our daughters, both adults, are college graduates. One an amazing teacher that is ready to leave the field because of our broken Indiana system... The other has spread her winds across the country putting her roots into a new territory, find her place in the marketing world as a Designer for a Marketing company. I remember as they grew up having to check their race on forms....chose to select their race depending on their mood. White. Hispanic. Mixed or bi-racial. Depends on the day. Although... did you know Hispanic isn't even a category now? My husband & I did a wonderful job raising strong women. They are open minded. They are kind. They are smart and they are sensitive. They are not judgmental.<br />
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For more recently I have survived being kicked down a bit too, but I have a strong support system. <br />
I understand being a Christian /Catholic<br />
I understand being a Wife & marriage<br />
I understand being a Parent<br />
I understand Teaching & a Youth Counselor<br />
I understand being a Friend<br />
I understand being a Care Giver & supportive staff<br />
I understand depression & mental health better than many.<br />
I understand what it's like being a minority and what it is like to be married to a minority<br />
I understand how to be respectfully different yet equal.<br />
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For many years I have worked with people that have disabilities, differences and or situations that may not be thought as the norm.<br />
I currently work in an industry that health care dictates who what & when a patient can get their medical supplies. Many depend on Obama Care & had nothing prior.<br />
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For the past few months since the election.. I am so appalled at what I have witnessed. It seems some people generally feel they now have a free pass to being a bully. Well, why not? The American people have elected a bully to be our leader.<br />
Wow.<br />
Seriously... wow.<br />
Obviously not everyone feels the same as I.<br />
Give him a chance! We didn't react the way you democrats did when we had to accept Obama. Ohhh. My apologies. I never remember Barack Obama using bully tactics or speaking ill of those less fortunate. Never disrespectful or rude.<br />
Say what you will. I know what I know. I know how I feel. Over the past few months I've felt pretty beat up & even betrayed.<br />
Not just from those who feel they can justify being rude & bullies. But much to May dismay... the lack of others standing up against it.<br />
The fact that some of my FB friends choose to not like a post I put out there I can certainly live with. The fact that my friends want to like a negative comment toward my beliefs and even worse... like someone's derogatory post "because.. oh come on... it's funny!" The lack of respect... the pure meanest...<br />
It pulls me right back...<br />
To the 60's as I attempted to get a drink from a fountain & told I can't because it's for "colors"... I have to drink from the other one...<br />
also in the 60's having an Aunt that was forced by her parents to get a back alley abortion because they were not legal... this was not her choice but her parents. she was underage, just a puppy-love teenager that didn't realize she could get pregnant the first time having sex... but her parents were not going to allow her to be a pregnant teen...<br />
To the 70's getting beat up every day for two years by a bully... a boy mind you... telling a terrified slinky girl it's time for my daily beating... and not one school-bus friend stopping it.<br />
To being molested and not being protected..<br />
To having a boyfriend that occasionally hit me... but only when drunk...<br />
In the 80's when I was 18, I went to Planned Parenthood to get educated more about birth control, safe sex, and be smart PRIOR to becoming sexually active. They provided me with birth control because I was a poor college girl with a boyfriend...<br />
When I married a<br />
This election... it was personal.<br />
<br />janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-58105262901773254242017-01-12T12:42:00.000-05:002017-01-12T14:48:30.789-05:00catching my breathSometimes finding my voice is so complex. What once was channeled into words has become silent, censored, and even failed. I was so comfortable with my blog, and expressing myself, until I found some loved ones hurt, confused or embarrassed by what came so easily flowing across the keyboard. Rest assure, my intentions were never to hurt anyone. I merely felt an outlet of expression and well, validation. I have this heavy filter weighing itself on everything I type now. <br />
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So, carefully I am going to attempt to re-find my voice, and pray that others allow me to speak. Perhaps even cheer me on. I am still a work in progress. Even at 54... I still have many of the same self esteem issues I did at 12, and then some! The blog was a tool for coping. A way to help me breathe and know that my life is really not so different from others. So regardless to what we are fighting, what we are challenged with and even what we are Blessed with, while different from each other are also the same. Some of the best support I found were from women I may have never "really" met, but I feel understand me and love me nonetheless. I could openly express feelings and be honest. Something I am not always so comfortable with my loved ones. <br />
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So with that... I take a deep breath... and start to JUST BREATHE JANIS<br />
<br />
It has been a while since I have really written. I mean <em>really </em>written from my heart. Life has been a whirlwind. Sometimes a fucking tornado. But I am a survivor. Since my daily writings, a few years ago, so bare with me as I come back.<br />
<br />
I am starting with several of my drafts that lingered unfinished. This is actually one of them. I started this draft 3 years ago, but didn't complete, didn't find the strength to post. It's like I fell off the horse and frightened to jump back on. The longer I wait, the harder it will be. I will find my voice again. I will find my cheerleaders & friends in this wonderful Blog World that truly saved me when I most needed it...<br />
<br />
So with that, Hello Blog World. I think I have caught my breathe & ready to jump back on.<br />
Xoxojanishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-17733367115815690792015-12-03T20:56:00.000-05:002015-12-03T20:57:39.560-05:00stifleI have been quite for some time. Slowly my writing was suffocating as I was told to repress... I needed to stop embarrassing others with my thoughts. I needed to suck it up, constraint myself from expression, and shut the fuck up.<br />
<br />
I was merely writing what was in my heart and going through my brain, however... some people took it personal... feeling exposed, or worried I would make myself look ridiculously stupid. If I "feel the need to write", then why couldn't I keep it private? Why did I feel I needed to blog? <br />
<br />
Because... it allowed me to breathe.<br />
<br />
I wasn't attempting to expose. I was simply giving my outlook, my two cents, my point of view of how life was for who I am and how I came to be. In the process, I did on occasion feel validated. I felt proud, and I felt myself growing and flourishing. <br />
<br />
Just Breathe Janis, was never intended to call people out, show off or even to gain pity. For me, years ago, my Aunt Linda, Grandma Kitty, and sister Julie use to tell me WRITE your story! They were the recipients of many letters.... Some of my pre-historical blog entries. I had friends that loved my stories as well. A friend use to beg me to enter them into Readers Digest. My sister still encourages me to write... she never gave up on me. I have a Bestie, Sheri, who had started her Blog, Living with the Oldies, just a year prior to my launch. Watching her write was so therapeutic for her as well as lessons for all to learn to laugh rather than cry. When my therapist, Betsy, heard it was an outlet for me, she insisted I let it flow.<br />
<br />
And so I did.<br />
I wrote....<br />
and I wrote.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I could make others laugh, and sometimes cry. Sometimes I would endorse things I found to enjoy. While other times I just had to put things out there. My life was far from perfect and blogging made me realize I was not alone.<br />
<br />
Three events took place that made me pull the plug a few years ago. <br />
Three important relationships were struggling severely...<br />
I had a job change that was very intense about having anything personal easily accessible...<br />
And my depression was evolving into something different.<br />
<br />
I began to <strong>Just Stifle Janis</strong>.<br />
<br />
I have DOZENS of un-published post, lingering like a thought in the back of your brain. Something always stopped me from finishing them and most certainly publishing them. I just couldn't unleash them anymore... Too afraid of the consequences. I lost my voice.<br />
<br />
I started reading less (<em>I know! that alone is a disaster</em>!).<br />
I felt myself, <em>forgive</em> <em>me friends that this will bother</em>... dumb down. When I had to change my primary language... using my secondary language, I often found myself losing the power of words. <em><span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>Like when I wanted to say how beautiful, attractive, exquisitive, gorgeous, alluring,.... it's all the same word as pretty. Which wasn't as powerful as I may have wanted to say. </strong></span> </em><br />
<em></em><br />
Recently, I felt the need to write submerge. The words forming in my brain.... as I lie in bed, the stories unraveled. Tonight, I have decided to face my challenges, and let myself BREATHE again.<br />
<br />
So... bear with me, and my grammar stumbling as I jump back on this computer journal. Feel free to comment.... I can even take the negative. I am writing for myself. If I help anyone else along the way, as so many have helped me... then please pay it forward. Maybe, we can make each others lives a little better with truthful words and raw emotions.janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-63295290831950037412015-02-24T20:11:00.001-05:002015-02-24T20:11:55.688-05:00♪♪Day One♪♪<span class="clearBoth" id="ctl00_ctl00_cphMain_cphMiddleColumn_DropZone1_columnDisplay_ctl00_controlcolumn_ctl00_WidgetHost_WidgetHost_widget_lblLyrics" style="display: inline-block; width: 100%;"></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OQjj2CTunLs/VO0feG0L-DI/AAAAAAAAC9I/1nR201v5lho/s1600/day%2Bone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OQjj2CTunLs/VO0feG0L-DI/AAAAAAAAC9I/1nR201v5lho/s1600/day%2Bone.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
♪Well, I wish I had a short term memory<br />Wish the only thing my eyes could see<br />Was the future burning bright right in front of me<br />But I can't stop looking back<br /><br />Yeah, I wish I was a perfect picture of<br />Somebody who's never not good enough<br />I try to measure up but I mess it up<br />And I wish I wasn't like that<br /><br />I wish I wasn't wishing anymore<br />Wish I could remember that nobody's keeping score<br />I'm tired of throwing pennies in a well<br />I gotta do something<br />Here goes nothin'<br /><br />♫It's day one of the rest of my life<br />It's day one of the best of my life<br />I'm marching on to the beat of a brand new drum<br />Yeah, here I come <br />The future has begun<br />Day one♫<br /><br />Well, every single day Your grace reminds me<br />That my best days are not behind me<br />Wherever my yesterday may find me<br />Well, I don't have to stay there<br /><br />See my hourglass is upside down<br />My someday soon is here and now<br />The clock is tickin'<br />And I'm so sick and tired of missing out<br /><br />It's day one<br />And here comes the sun<br /><br />Every morning, every morning<br />Every morning, mercy's new<br />Every morning, every morning<br />Every morning, I will fix my eyes on You<br />Every morning, every morning<br />Every morning, mercy's new<br />Every morning, every morning<br />Sun's coming up, the beginning has begun<br /><br />Starting over, I'm starting over<br />Starting over, I'm starting over, starting now<br />I'm starting over<br />Starting over, I'm starting over<br />Starting over<br />Starting over, starting now<br />I'm starting over<br />
♫♪♪♫<br />
<br />
...and that is what is stuck in my head.<br />
maybe a sign,<br />
maybe I can get started again with writing.<br />
life is good, and here comes the sun!<br />
<br />janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-1439351521246162082014-07-05T22:18:00.001-04:002014-07-05T22:18:32.272-04:00perspectivePerspective ~ "<span>a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view."</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9LVYoQtv9Pw/U7irCo6l7CI/AAAAAAAAC7A/ZDXXKm4YTjg/s1600/stella+on+table.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9LVYoQtv9Pw/U7irCo6l7CI/AAAAAAAAC7A/ZDXXKm4YTjg/s1600/stella+on+table.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">~sometimes you need to change your perspective to see things differently~</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span></span><br />
<span>I need to write. I miss it desperately. It gives me clarity. I have decided that because of perspective... not everyone is going to get me. That's okay. I hope that those I love, and love me, can look past things they see differently and perhaps can allow me to write my heart & mind. Not worry about someone misunderstanding me. Frankly, if those that love me understand me, then why should I worry? </span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>Anyway... I want to start up again. For me.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>Life is good lately.</span><br />
<span>Far from perfect, but I don't think perfect exist. </span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>Things are interesting.</span><br />
<span>Changing, evolving, and thought provoking.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>A year ago, five years ago, or ten years ago... I thought things would be very different today. </span><br />
<span>Life at 52. Not quite what I envisioned. A few surprises along the way. I don't mean in a negative way, or even a positive way. Just not what I had imagined.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>I'm happy. But I am also sad. I have learned over the past few years that is okay. As long as there is a balance. </span><br />
<span>Menopause, aging, working and living... I am learning to have a new perspective on my life.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>I feel this is right. Accepting some changes. Standing up against some that are not alright with me.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>My clock is ticking. Time is slipping away. Where did yesterday go? And why have the years flown so quickly? I am starting realize that some dreams are not going to be met. And some new wonders have filled in their places. It is okay. Sometimes scary, and sometimes exciting.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>My life.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>It's not over yet.</span><br />
<span></span><br />
<span>I have time to make a difference.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4IIBJ8eT_jE/U7ixzv1UMjI/AAAAAAAAC7Q/x_OD9hWQMv4/s1600/deep+breathe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4IIBJ8eT_jE/U7ixzv1UMjI/AAAAAAAAC7Q/x_OD9hWQMv4/s1600/deep+breathe.jpg" height="271" width="320" /></a></div>
<span></span>janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-50278471058746148252014-02-11T19:36:00.002-05:002014-02-11T19:36:25.337-05:00on second thought...My last post upset some Folks and for that I am profoundly sorry. This is not the first time I have needed to pull my post, re-evaluating how it is proceived.
Hurting feelings was truly not my intent. To anyone.
I merely was pointing out how I see things.
It is why I feel I can't write. I have too many readers that can't see that I am expressing my feelings not making statements. I am not looking for pity parties. I am not trying to upset others.
I just have so many thoughts that are over crowding my head that sometimes I feel like I am going to burst!
So I am sorry...
I really am sorry...
It wasn't about you... it was about me.
That's all.
just me trying to breathe.janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-13177166040883718802014-01-06T12:25:00.000-05:002014-01-06T12:25:19.802-05:00♪♪ Oh... The Weather Outside is Frightful♪♪<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2rQi4TI2TCc/UsrFrMiQHtI/AAAAAAAAC1g/c0L2uggKJYg/s1600/photo.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2rQi4TI2TCc/UsrFrMiQHtI/AAAAAAAAC1g/c0L2uggKJYg/s1600/photo.PNG" height="320" width="204" /></a></div>
I live in Indiana. We got a bit of snow...<br />
Actually a lot of snow. 11 inches within 24 hours. We had some before this storm, and we have had some strong winds which have caused beautiful yet treacherous snow drifts.<br />
While this winter wonderland scenery is amazing to view, it came with a deadly temperature as well. Once the snow stopped, the cold came with a vengeous. It is currently -14* with a wind chill of -40 degrees.. That is some serious cold! Killer cold.<br />
This storm ripped across the country and many folks just did not understand the seriousness of it. While others remember too well the Blizzard of '78 we had in Indiana. At that time I may have only been 15, and really most of what I remember was fun, but I did understand the seriousness. For more on that story go <a href="http://justbreathejanis.blogspot.com/2011/01/bye-bye-january-bring-it-on-february.html">HERE</a>. <br />
<br />
Friday, many of us started preparing for this storm to hit us. I went to the store. Choose Meijer because even though it's not my favorite grocery store, it had the best potential of having everything I was needing. Here is my view from the line to check out....<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1xZ27sdsz5A/UsrLcvv7cAI/AAAAAAAAC2E/5FjB6-Zu2UY/s1600/1.05.14+073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1xZ27sdsz5A/UsrLcvv7cAI/AAAAAAAAC2E/5FjB6-Zu2UY/s1600/1.05.14+073.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
and yes, every check out was open. It was CRAZY. I was please that people were polite and even helpful to each other. People were ready to help each other get ready for this pending storm.<br />
<br />
On Saturday, it started. We got an inch every hour over the course of a 12 hour span. Hubby and I shoveled snow, every 2-3 hours.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PPjPyKcypzo/UsrMpzhGAvI/AAAAAAAAC2Q/QWYzgp-RLjg/s1600/1.6.14+008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PPjPyKcypzo/UsrMpzhGAvI/AAAAAAAAC2Q/QWYzgp-RLjg/s1600/1.6.14+008.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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We did a good job keeping up... although I fell down the deck steps once, </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wPwMv9C04qk/UsrlfjojuGI/AAAAAAAAC4U/rjbhWyaXIOo/s1600/1.05.14+070.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wPwMv9C04qk/UsrlfjojuGI/AAAAAAAAC4U/rjbhWyaXIOo/s1600/1.05.14+070.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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there is only a few, thank goodness! I am fine.</div>
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The dogs had a blast...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eqCYwyOuVQk/UsrNVK1mXhI/AAAAAAAAC2g/Kwofg4HXLw4/s1600/1.6.14+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eqCYwyOuVQk/UsrNVK1mXhI/AAAAAAAAC2g/Kwofg4HXLw4/s1600/1.6.14+005.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dakota</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zc3LZUtuA6o/UsrNDtbGugI/AAAAAAAAC2Y/0ggLhjUER2k/s1600/1.6.14+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zc3LZUtuA6o/UsrNDtbGugI/AAAAAAAAC2Y/0ggLhjUER2k/s1600/1.6.14+002.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bandit<br />
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And especially the Girls...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2jD5Rv52NLU/UsrOKpKTFDI/AAAAAAAAC20/aOV35CqaJX4/s1600/1.6.14+017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2jD5Rv52NLU/UsrOKpKTFDI/AAAAAAAAC20/aOV35CqaJX4/s1600/1.6.14+017.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zoe & Stella<br />
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It was really amazing to see. We enjoyed while we could, as we knew soon we would be stuck inside once the temperatures dropped. The tress were so very pretty.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-viPLX-z0KLg/UsrP0Itn7TI/AAAAAAAAC3M/lOJT49oNbpc/s1600/1.05.14+120.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-viPLX-z0KLg/UsrP0Itn7TI/AAAAAAAAC3M/lOJT49oNbpc/s1600/1.05.14+120.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-szDQPDP88aA/UsrPcrRaQrI/AAAAAAAAC3E/pfR2njiiznM/s1600/1.05.14+134.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-szDQPDP88aA/UsrPcrRaQrI/AAAAAAAAC3E/pfR2njiiznM/s1600/1.05.14+134.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
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</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FG1DaLnsJDg/UsrQTkw5H0I/AAAAAAAAC3U/aNQ5ywj3HS8/s1600/1.05.14+137.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FG1DaLnsJDg/UsrQTkw5H0I/AAAAAAAAC3U/aNQ5ywj3HS8/s1600/1.05.14+137.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a>what's that Stella?</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hhIJRaaKDpM/UsrQ1Y0U3fI/AAAAAAAAC3c/8sFmeVLiXXc/s1600/1.05.14+140.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hhIJRaaKDpM/UsrQ1Y0U3fI/AAAAAAAAC3c/8sFmeVLiXXc/s1600/1.05.14+140.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a>ohh...</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c4GJTyjzE-M/UsrRQOnS6YI/AAAAAAAAC3k/GaMaSIfKLdw/s1600/1.05.14+135.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c4GJTyjzE-M/UsrRQOnS6YI/AAAAAAAAC3k/GaMaSIfKLdw/s1600/1.05.14+135.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a>you're right! I see the squirrel!</div>
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I took this last night as my Hubby and I walked through the neighborhood. I think our house looks warm and inviting, even though we are snowed in and no one can get thru our road...</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hUMnEYYjM6s/UsrS_uHlJnI/AAAAAAAAC4A/wVcmy1VkBVM/s1600/1.6.14+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hUMnEYYjM6s/UsrS_uHlJnI/AAAAAAAAC4A/wVcmy1VkBVM/s1600/1.6.14+015.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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My daughters are also snowed in. Emily, is safely tucked into her apartment with Roomies. Annie got stuck at a friends, but is safe and sound... They are probably having a blast. I am just grateful that they are in... there was some discussion about work. We were trying to explain what a City-wide snow emergency is and that regardless to what they think, they are not allowed to go out... The Teacher daughter was fine with her school closing but the younger ambitious daughter trying to advance up a ladder of success was waiting to see what her boss would say... Luckily, the parental units were correct and her employment will remain closed all day.</div>
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I worry about all the homeless and the stay animals... Our shelters are overflowing and some places are even taking pets. Last night, over 30,000 Hoosier residents were without power... remind you the temperature has dropped way below zero. People are actually freezing to death. It's so quiet outside too. Except for occasional pops and crashes of limbs breaking and such. Yesterday, I mentioned to the Hubby someone is really got a fire going in their fireplace, it was so strong. Then a few hours, while on our walk, we saw the fire trucks a block over, finishing putting a fire out of a home!</div>
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It's really dangerous. We have to keep our faucets dripping so the pipes do not freeze, push the snow off decks, out of the satellite dishes, and even try to relive some tree branches so they don't snap.</div>
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I am reminded how fortunate I am. I sit here typing away in my warm house with a great cup of coffee. Hubby and I have the day together. I will attempt to get some things done that were not completed during my two week Winter Break. Later I want to watch some old VHS videos of years gone by.</div>
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But for now, I will enjoy this peace. And thank God for keeping us safe.</div>
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janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-46311287968830835222014-01-01T14:26:00.000-05:002014-01-01T14:26:35.824-05:00Auld Lang Syne<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jwj-h18PHCg/UsRqdL0ErZI/AAAAAAAAC0o/k5PZn2KDTHc/s1600/zoe+and+snow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jwj-h18PHCg/UsRqdL0ErZI/AAAAAAAAC0o/k5PZn2KDTHc/s320/zoe+and+snow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Life is interesting.</div>
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As 2013 has come and gone, I, like many, </div>
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reflect on what the year brought me. </div>
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Pleasure and pain. </div>
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Sadness and joy. </div>
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Prosperity and destitute.</div>
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</div>
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I am 51 years old and have had my share of a good life. </div>
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I have been Blessed. I have been dilapidated.</div>
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I had to learn to really appreciate my life. </div>
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To accept the life God has given me as well as the plan </div>
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He has for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Life IS good. Very Good indeed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I see my life differently than previously. Finally learning to control the depression and to focus on the way I handle things that come my way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I expect change for 2014. Good change. So much opportunity in this year and I am going to embrace it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In order for me to see more positive and less negative, I must start within myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am trying to think of the many things I can do every day to make a more positive impact within myself and perhaps outside the walls of me. Who knows? Maybe it can be contagious and others can enjoy more happiness and contentment as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Janis' euphoria list for 2014 in no particular order, what I intend to begin, increase, and continue for this Blessed year, every day or at least more often...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
smile, laugh, kiss, hug, dance, compliment, listen, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
walk, exercise, therapy, meditate, healthier eating, drink more water, more soaking in the tub & sharing the shower, manicures & pedicures (even just a do it myself), </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
read, sing, write & photograph more, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
less social media more live social interaction,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
gardening, de-cluttering the home, simplify housework, master knitting and/crocheting, sewing,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
make more time for loved ones less for those that do not need me</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
prioritize my work... do what I should, not what I settle for.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
love my husband more, for he is my rock, that gets me through (and he is still such a hottie!)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
get to know my adult daughters, as our roles have changed and I continue to be in awe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The list continues. I could go on and on. But, rather than write about it, maybe I should start living it. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Life is too short not to live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
xoxo</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-21733842010526429512013-11-05T09:46:00.001-05:002013-11-05T09:46:58.170-05:00Once Upon a Not so Long Ago Time...I use to be a writer.<br />
Not a grand one. Not a professional one. But I was nonetheless a writer. My heart & soul was spoken through the words spilling onto pages. I spoke of my journey, my deepest thoughts came to life and I was able to express myself through writing.<br />
<br />
Interesting how easy it is to become stifled. <br />
First it was misunderstandings... feelings hurt through not really reading what was written. <br />
Later it was fear... feeling others may misinterpret and get the wrong idea.<em> (hence the experiences of misunderstandings some got)</em><br />
And finally it was blank. Just not having the flow of my words able to make it to print. I would frantically see the sentences in my mind, but when I was able to actually write... I had nothing to say.<br />
<br />
But.. I do have something to say.<br />
<br />
I am not finished writing.<br />
<br />
A part of me has withered by my stopping my blog.<br />
<br />
This magical place that allows me to say what I want, and how I want... I <em><strong>NEED</strong></em> it.<br />
<br />
SO I am back. Hopefully, to stay. <br />
<br />
So with that in mind, let me state this disclosure.<br />
<br />
This is not about you.<br />
It's about me.<br />
It's okay to disagree.<br />
It's just stuff that is in my head. In my heart. It doesn't mean I am talking about you... or you or you.<br />
It's just me.<br />
Just Janis trying to Breathe again.<br />
<br />
So please feel free to comment. But don't over analyze. Just allow me to ponder... allow me to make mistakes. allow me to find my voice again.janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-4937408104803882972013-04-09T10:35:00.000-04:002013-04-09T10:38:10.094-04:00sweepI take the interstate everyday to work. I drive by interesting places. Noticing the detail on my route. There are homes along the way, with their backyards butting up to the highway. A cat that often can be spotted close to these backyards, looking for field mice to prey upon.<br />
<br />
Among the many business' new and old, there is the Marion County Jails. Within the tiny windows, I often wonder about the inmates inside. I am one of those that have mixed feelings about the "system". Inside these walls, we care for those that have broken the law. From petty crimes to severe crimes and being held here temporary till moved to a State Prison. These folks are clothed, fed, and given a bleak but warm place to sleep. Our taxes pay heavily for their mistakes. <br />
<br />
I also pass an area close by that truly touches the heart.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1cyPiev-xPw/UWQia3RHUVI/AAAAAAAACxg/TfRorgRPNcs/s1600/3.25.13+178.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1cyPiev-xPw/UWQia3RHUVI/AAAAAAAACxg/TfRorgRPNcs/s320/3.25.13+178.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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You have to look closely to see what I am talking about.</div>
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In fact, I didn't even notice for some time.</div>
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But it's there.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xdVB6R_ADs8/UWQjBvP-kfI/AAAAAAAACxo/7AqMdy6Pfzg/s1600/4.9.13+015.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xdVB6R_ADs8/UWQjBvP-kfI/AAAAAAAACxo/7AqMdy6Pfzg/s320/4.9.13+015.PNG" width="213" /></a></div>
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This is how many homeless live.</div>
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The tents sometimes change... new ones come, old ones go. Some nights with the cold rain and snow... I am overwhelmed with guilt that I have a warm bed waiting for me at the end of my drive. I have food, I have so much.</div>
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</div>
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The most upsetting thing about seeing these tent towns.... is when the Sweep comes through. Law officials come through and make them pack up, and move along.</div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
One of the jails I mentioned is just a few blocks from this area the homeless camp. While these homeless people suffer through the cold, hunger, and often illness'... we are busy making sure the criminals down the street are fed, warm and comfy.</div>
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</div>
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Just doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?</div>
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<br />janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-30804000863352223472013-04-06T11:53:00.000-04:002013-04-06T11:53:25.432-04:0050 years ago... my world changedHalf a century ago, an event took place that changed my family's life forever.<br />
<br />
My young parents, had dreams of prosper and visions of a great life. My sister not yet 3 years old and I at 10 months, completed our family. They had recently decided they would soon move us from Indiana to Texas. My Mom was from San Antonio, and with jobs declining, and the threat of my Dad's job on the line, they had hopes of moving our family south so we could prosper and my Mom would be closer to her family.<br />
<br />
My Dad had a friend named Bud, that often talked of his Harley Davidson, offering to Dad to take it for a spin any time. One beautiful day, April 6th, 1963...my Dad took him up on the offer, wanting to show my Mom how safe motorcycles were and wanted my Mom to see that it would be a good investment for them. My Dad felt with the warmer climate of Texas, and the small amount of fuel they took, this would be idea transportation for him once they moved to Texas.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3F1zAoiYLQI/UWAoAz-47OI/AAAAAAAACwk/Ac9-AgNkbkA/s1600/1948+harley+davidson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3F1zAoiYLQI/UWAoAz-47OI/AAAAAAAACwk/Ac9-AgNkbkA/s320/1948+harley+davidson.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
My parents left my Sister and I in our Godparents care, and went for a spring ride on a 1948 Harley Davidson. I can assure you, my Dad was driving careful. He was an experienced rider, his lovely wife was on the Bike with him, and he was trying to prove how safe they were, so she would be in agreement that he would buy one.<br />
<br />
While driving along 42nd Street, in Indianapolis, they hit a rather large chuckhole, throwing them from the Harley. My Mom, skinned, broken arm and a good 50 feet from my Dad, couldn't get over to my Dad. He was badly injured with a massive head injury, among other things.<br />
<br />
My Dad's vitals were slight. He was brought into the hospital as DOA... Dead On Arrival. A Resident was performing a check for all vitals and told his training Doctor he was certain he was hearing some gurgling in the heart... My Father, was indeed alive. Barely, but alive.<br />
<br />
Across the city, his younger cousin, Pam, sat with her family watching television. The phone rang. Her Mom, (whom not only very close to my Dad, but was a nurse as well), answered....Pam remembers her Mom saying over and ever again "Oh My God! Oh My God!.....<br />
<div>
After that she left to go to the hospital. Pam will never forget the utter fear and helplessness in her voice.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Meanwhile, my Dad is hanging onto a thread of life. My Mom at 22 years, is watching a priest give last rights to husband, a shell of a 27 year old man... His discolored head cracked open, his body badly broken and torn apart from the pavement and impact. When her friend brings my Sister to see her, Julie is frightened of my mothers appearance, and does not recognize her. My scared Mom feels so alone. She looks at her husband...his head is as round and large as a basketball. It is purple. He is not recognizable at all. The rest of his body is wrapped in cast and bandages. He does not look human.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
My Dad survives the night. </div>
<div>
In fact, although in a coma for 13 days, he is considered a miracle and many Doctors are amazed that he not only survied, but starts to show improvement. After a lengthy stay in the hospital and several months in rehabilitation, he leaves them... capable of walking out, speaking, and functioning... He has re-learned the most simple task that are extremely difficult to him. He has to learn to feed himself, master coordination skills, thought process, using his young yet damaged body the best he can. My Dad becomes a study case, and enjos the opportunity to assist the many Doctors and medical students in clinicals and interviews. My Dad received an award from Crossroads Rehabilitation Center for his acheivements. </div>
<div>
Over the course of a year, my Dad is back to work and trying to get his life back.</div>
<div>
My Mom... she is thrilled to have him back....Alive... and having much of his functions back. However they are not back to normal, and never will be. My Dad's handicaps have put a huge unspoken burden on my Mom, who now has two small daughters as well as a handicap husband to care for. </div>
<div>
Think for just a moment.</div>
<div>
Look around and see all we have that is handicap accessable today. Now imagine 1963. We have none of it. Nothing.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
My Mom, kicks into gear, taking care of us all, never second guessing or complaining. She just jumps in and gets it done. The dream to go back to Texas is gone. She does not get the pleasure of her family to help her, although Dad's family steps in.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Over the years, one thing after another, from the impact of "The Accident" as this has been named, has come upon them. One day, my Dad's boss, (he was working in a manufacturing plant) approached him and told him that he is too slow now. His producting is not near what they need and they "don't want a retard working here". My devastated Dad can't find a job. We do not have laws in place to protect the Handicapped Employee back then. No Americans with Disabilities Act.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
My parents go through a lengthy lawsuit against the City of Indianapolis, due to the road condition that caused the accident. My sister and I are placed in separate homes. I am placed with friends, but I am far from my family. Day after day I sit at the window crying for my Mom. I miss her. I am scared and confused. I am around 4 years old. My sister stayed with a neighbor as she had school to attend. I don't understand why I am not with her. Or my Grandparents...Or cousins... I want my Mommy. My parents win. Which all I understand is I get to live with my family again, so I am happy. We move and I think all is going to be okay.</div>
<div>
It's not.</div>
<div>
Over the next 40 years... my depressed Dad tries to take his life several times. My Mom as well suffers much depression. My Sis & I survive a dysfunctional childhood and learn to take life for what it is. We learn coping skills, yet we also suffer the consequences of things that happened throughout our childhood.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: small;">You know, I often wonder what might have been had that event had not taken place. What kind of life would my parents have had. Who would Julie & I become if situations were different? Even though I wonder, and I certainly wish things were somewhat better for my parents all these years, I do believe that things happen in life and it's what we do with what we are given that matters. I don't think it was God's will that they were hurt in that accident, but I do think it was His will that they survived. What would have happened if they had died then? Who would have taken Sis & I? And would we have been able to stay together? I am so grateful that we did have our parents to raise us and I am grateful for the person I have become. Far from perfect... and still learning... even at 50, but I am who I am because of what I have been through, who has been a part of me, and for what I have learned through Faith.</span></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
It has been an eventful life. A very eventful year. </div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Yet we continue to move forward.</div>
<div>
<strong></strong> </div>
<div>
<strong>My Dad is a survivor.</strong></div>
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<div>
And so am I.</div>
</div>
janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-30464216914261861702013-04-05T18:42:00.001-04:002013-04-05T18:42:53.639-04:00Scary Roommate SearchI know I have been MIA for a while but I am just going to jump in with post rather than explain it all...<br />
I'm fine.<br />
More than anything, dealing with LIFE and not feeling I can express openly in my Blog it all.<br />
<br />
Anyway...<br />
<br />
So one of the things going on in my neck of the woods is the Baby is getting ready to graduate from Ball State University with her Graphic Design Journalism degree. She is more than cool... she is pretty amazing.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AYpidhlBU-U/UV9GW9ofEvI/AAAAAAAACwM/44fTuj7gx7s/s1600/4.5.13+044.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AYpidhlBU-U/UV9GW9ofEvI/AAAAAAAACwM/44fTuj7gx7s/s320/4.5.13+044.PNG" width="213" /></a></div>
Not only is she graduating on time, she is doing so with something she is passionate about. Instead of sticking her toes in the water deciding what to do, she has decided to say the heck with it and dive straight in... into a town far away, where she knows not a soul, with an internship that has no promises of a future with them after this 10 week of working her tushie off for pennies.<br />
She is heading to an upscale area that has no student housing... no cheap rents. This is a cream of the crop area where the richy rich go to their summer homes and enjoy the gander of a beautiful seaside town that rarely does one find someone "on a budget".<br />
So... how does one go about finding housing in an area where the going rate for a week is more than her 10 week pay? <br />
Good question.<br />
I think the answer is all about resources.<br />
<ul>
<li>First we look through google.... nope. can't afford anything for rent and most do not want to rent for 10 weeks anyway.</li>
<li>Second we reach out to peeps we know that may know somebody... my old colleague that worked with me @ Roman Ink has a couple of beautiful homes there... maybe she would know someone or even be interested in hosting an intern? nope. she doesn't but will let me know if she finds out of anyone. My daughter checks with a friend that happened to intern there before... their might be a hint of hope here... we will see.</li>
<li>Third, I lean on Realtors out there. Most are not interested, but a couple show some support and give some advice to my daughter & start making some calls to some possibilities... </li>
<li>Fourth, we check with the employer. They have several interns coming.. Maybe they can pool together & find a place? Maybe the employer (especially since they are a newspaper and are in the know..) can give some advice? nope. they will get back with her on that, however, time is ticking away...</li>
<li>Fifth, we start looking at the possibility of renting a room... not an apartment but just a room of someones private home.</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">hello Craigslist</span></strong>.</div>
... let's see, there is the single mom with a teenage son... interesting photo with the uhm Phoenix? on the ceiling...<br />
... cat lady is looking for someone to rent a room. she talks about her cats and it is a must that you love cats. well... Annie likes cats. Grew up with them. Has Asthma though so we need to watch the cat dander. How many cats is cat lady talking about? & will they be in Annie's room? Do we have cat smell at this place?<br />
... and then there is this little dandy...<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sMxGZL8Deh4/UV9L20lMX9I/AAAAAAAACwU/JIICX7cmcbo/s1600/4.5.13+040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sMxGZL8Deh4/UV9L20lMX9I/AAAAAAAACwU/JIICX7cmcbo/s320/4.5.13+040.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
here... let me help you see what this says...<br />
<h2 class="postingtitle">
<span style="background-color: white; color: purple;"><em>$400 Need an awesome roommate? I do (Dennis)</em></span></h2>
<section class="userbody"><section id="postingbody"><span style="background-color: white; color: purple;"><em> Iv had a lot of responses, But I have yet to nail it down. So here goes another.<br />I found a great little two bedroom beach house in Dennis.<br /> But I need a roommate to cover the rent.<br /> Let me tell you a little about myself.<br /> -Definitely not a rapist.<br /> I'm an amazing roommate. I can fight fires and regularly help the elderly. One time I saved a pregnant lady from drowning and her husband rewarded me with an 18pack of bud heavy, we're now best friends and I go to classy dinners at their house on the reg. Ally Raisman asked me for my phone number, I gave her a fake. Iv sailed across the Atlantic ocean 6 times. I took Spanish for 3 years and cant speak a word. When I play Jamanji no one gets sucked into the forest. I volunteer at meals of wheels, the soup kitchen, the food pantry, the red cross, all the churches, and the peace corps. Children love me. I make babies smile and stop crying. Everything I cook smells and tastes delicious. I bathe regularly. I always know when there's an open bar somewhere. I tip well, always more then 20%.<br /> Roommate qualifications.<br /> Must be 21-29 m/f<br /> No socks with sandals.<br /> No fat annoying chicks. <br /> Gotta drink.<br /> No junkies.<br /> Cant watch survivor or American idol.<br /> 420 friendly.<br /> -Eddie M.</em></span> </section><section><br />
Oh my Gosh... This is serious. WTH? And thank God my Annie wears socks with sandals! lol... seriously... is that about the scariest ad you've ever read? For a parent anyway. Thankfully my daughter is smart and not the least bit interested in "Eddie's advertisement". yeah... good luck Eddie.<br />
<br />
As of today, looks like my daughter's friend's host family has gotten back with Annie and thankfully they seem to be a good fit (and thankfully this is not some wacko family and at least I know that Annie's friend survived living with this family!)<br />
<br />
Annie & I have tentative plans to road trip out east to this coastal town, get her settled and I will fly home, leaving my Baby, her car & few possessions with strangers.<br />
<br />
...and I could not be more proud♥</section></section>janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-15480569426244237392013-02-10T15:17:00.000-05:002013-02-10T15:17:05.641-05:00Blogger Blues!GRRR!<br />
I am having so much trouble with Blogger.com.<br />
Much to tell but also much difficulty with my blog. Don't give up... I am going to try to get these posted. ASAP.<br />
I am still reading everyone. So Thank you all for the wonderful stories, post and updates.janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-73473031868241635792013-01-17T11:26:00.001-05:002013-01-17T12:43:44.331-05:00Baby Mommy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DjYbWrIcCwI/UPegTOu01hI/AAAAAAAACuQ/G4qTNizYp4E/s1600/youngest%2Bmom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DjYbWrIcCwI/UPegTOu01hI/AAAAAAAACuQ/G4qTNizYp4E/s200/youngest%2Bmom.jpg" width="79" /></a></div>
Remember hearing of the horrible true story of little Lina? She is recorded as the worlds youngest mother... Ever. She was 5. Yes I typed that correctly. 5 years old. This young child had abnormalities causing her tiny body to "mature" quicker than the norm. Her menstruation is thought to have began before the age of four. Lina Medina had her child, a boy, by cesarean, 1939 in a Peru hospital.
The Father was never exposed.
<br />
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There are so many others. Not quite that young but not quite a teenager themselves.
While many cultures expect or even embrace young Moms. Some believing that when a girl starts menstruating that they are ready for motherhood. Some are victims of abuse and neglect.
And yet some are just stupid.
Hence the Glamorizing in it with shows like The Secret Life of The American Teenager and Teen Mom. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I realize this is debatable. Some say that seeing what it is like makes girls NOT want to get pregnant. I work with High School Girls. Some watch Teen Mom. And they don't all see it the same way.
I am bringing this up because a teenager recently shared with me what is happening in her own family. Her 12 year old cousin is scheduled to deliver triplets today. This child is having babies. Her Mommy told her she can keep them (like they were kittens or puppies). She was allowed to quit school (mind you she hasn't even started high school). The Baby Daddy? Ohhh yes. Her little 12 year old boyfriend is in Juvenile. Way to show maturity. Yeah... Can't stop thinking about this family. The how this could happen. And the what is going to happen to these precious babies, including the children that are now parents.
<br />
<br />
A friend of mine, Labor Delivery & Recovery Nurse, once delivered a baby from a 13 year old. Six months later that baby was on the news as a missing child alert. My friend never heard what the outcome was.<br />
<br />
I have an Aunt who's Mother had her first at just 14. And she turned out to be one of the Best Momma's I ever knew. <br />
<br />
My own Mother was 19. I just couldn't imagine that. I certainly wasn't ready to become a Mom at 19! (I was 26). <br />
<br />
I have heard of many stories that turn out beautifully with young Moms. I am not trying to pass judgement. I am just trying to wrap my head around this child that will become a Mother of three at the age of 12.<br />
<br />
I think about how we must have a license or degree to do so many things. How we have age requirements and laws about them for so many things. Yet there is nothing... no guidelines rules or anything when it comes to reproducing. If you have the equipment... that is enough.<br />
<br />
How sad is this?janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-82974896537161004472012-12-31T14:06:00.001-05:002012-12-31T14:06:55.961-05:00And So it Goes...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">2012</span></div>
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It has been an eventful year for many. Especially me.</div>
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2012 has been rather life changing for me. <br />
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I lost my Mom, </div>
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became my Dad's care-giver. </div>
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I turned 50. </div>
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Almost lost my marriage, but instead strengthened it. </div>
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Had one Daughter not only graduate from college, but land her dream job.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b9sFH_ZsHzE/UOHRsyMqhUI/AAAAAAAACqU/_n_Ac3NxfS4/s1600/annie+abroad+%2528cruise%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b9sFH_ZsHzE/UOHRsyMqhUI/AAAAAAAACqU/_n_Ac3NxfS4/s200/annie+abroad+%2528cruise%2529.jpg" width="149" /></a></div>
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While the other got the chance of a lifetime, studying abroad and catching dreams.</div>
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Strengthened some friendships and family ties as well.<br />
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We have had some health scares. And we have had financial hic-cups.<br />
The weather has been strange, down right crazy.<br />
The World's current events have been terrifying with our own USA crime unbelievable. <br />
The lack of respect and responsibility has been embarrassing.<br />
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Made some pretty major decisions. And started seeing things differently.<br />
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Through all this year, one thing is certain. I have become a much stronger woman. I have found my voice. I think I have come to understand that regardless to what happens in my life, I have the power to stand... to take what God has put before me and to figure it out. <br />
I use to think that everything that happened was a part of God's plan... I don't so much anymore. I do believe that He has planned my life and given me the opportunity to live life to its fullest. However... I do not find Him responsible for the evil and bad things that happen in our lives. He helps us through the storms, and helps us from sinking. He puts things in our paths to help us find the solid ground or even sometimes a floatation to get us to that solid ground. <br />
This I know. God Loves Me.<br />
As I pray I am doing what I should and it is good enough.<br />
I have come to realize...I am enough.<br />
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I have caught my breath and I am ready for what 2013 has in store. There are so many exciting things looming around the corner. I am thrilled to take on this year. I am sure there will continue to be mountains to climb and valleys to cross, but, I'm good.<br />
I got this.<br />
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janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-12441858763204288852012-12-31T11:54:00.000-05:002012-12-31T11:54:26.215-05:00Highlander's Cottage Give Away<a href="http://highlanderscottage.com/?p=1679#comment-6983" target="_blank">Chalkboard Give-Away</a><br />
Click on the link for a wonderful give-away from <a href="http://highlanderscottage.com/?p=1679#comment-6983">Highlander's Cottage.</a> They always have the most fabulous signs and I love them. One day... I am going to buy one of their signs or address plates. But until then... I am trying to win this lovely chalkboard.<br />
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janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-26687240044200308292012-12-27T14:38:00.000-05:002012-12-27T14:38:09.616-05:00exhale<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nyTWecXuWS0/UNxl9xrwLpI/AAAAAAAACnQ/jZkJZOc81P4/s1600/snow+overhang.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nyTWecXuWS0/UNxl9xrwLpI/AAAAAAAACnQ/jZkJZOc81P4/s320/snow+overhang.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The soothing satisfaction of being able to exhale. <br />
I was uptight, nervous, and short of breath. As Christmas was looming I was fretting. Would this Holiday be as disastrous as Thanksgiving? Was I going to be a tearful emotional mess again? Or was I going to be okay this Holiday?<br />
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<br />
With prayer, I woke with a gentle warmth in my heart and a strength in my soul. I was okay with this Holiday.<br />
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The day flowed with funny mishaps but no pain. <br />
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I burnt the ham... I burnt the corn.... I burnt the rolls. Seriously? Who does that? I NEVER burn things. But my sweet Family laughed with me and ate it.<br />
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Dad had a spike in his blood sugar. A very high spike... But with insulin we got him back to normal.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7yVLzB3y6fU/UNyg90zEeGI/AAAAAAAACno/m8-xVbjj3Pg/s1600/12.27+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7yVLzB3y6fU/UNyg90zEeGI/AAAAAAAACno/m8-xVbjj3Pg/s200/12.27+002.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jan annie sheri 12.25.12</td></tr>
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Later in the evening Annie & I talked Sheri into going to a movie. Parental Guidance. Sweet little funny movie. I spilled two not just one over sized Diet Cokes on myself at two different times. Before giving myself a hard time over this... I will say that three other folks in the theater did also so I totally blame the flimsy over sized cups not the user. Hanging with Annie & Sheri was such a wonderful thing. We laughed. A lot. Annie's snort laugh. Sheri's squeal with tears. And my gasping guffaw.<br />
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The weather held back. Giving us a warm day perfect for transporting Dad to my house. Waiting to bring us the beautiful snow the next morning. We got a beautiful display of white blanket, along with wicked winds. The snow photograph at the top of the post, is of a snow overhang from our roof. So pretty.<br />
<br />
My Mom was all around me this Christmas. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sis mom me...a few years back</td></tr>
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It was not sad. It was not manic. It was her sweetness. Her softer side. The fun... the love. <br />
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I was able to enjoy this Christmas.. and that is huge.<br />
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I miss my Mom. I miss the good times, not the manic. <br />
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But, it's all good. I'm able to breathe, I'm able to exhale.<br />
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janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-11868939813679622542012-12-23T19:10:00.000-05:002012-12-23T19:10:24.816-05:00Jingle Bells<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KOOICIaFmEU/UNcy-kw-huI/AAAAAAAACm4/sUtO2-jHF44/s1600/grumpy+cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KOOICIaFmEU/UNcy-kw-huI/AAAAAAAACm4/sUtO2-jHF44/s320/grumpy+cat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="userContent"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="userContent">♪dashing through the snow... </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">in a last miute panic effort.... </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">to get those last few gifts... </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">that I have yet to buy... </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">trying not to freak...</span></div>
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<span class="userContent"> remembering to breathe... </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">Oh what fun it is to buy and get through this holiday!</span></div>
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<span class="userContent">♪ Jingle Bells♪ Jingle Bells♪ </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">oh where is my White Zinf? </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">I only need a few more days squeezed into the next two! </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">Oh Jingle Bells♪ Jingle Bells♪ </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">Forget the White Zinf... </span></div>
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<span class="userContent">I really need to pop a few of my precious little Xans!♪ </span></div>
janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-39815808764822182892012-11-28T12:31:00.001-05:002012-11-28T12:31:26.403-05:00...away in a mangerWith the recent death of my Mom, dealing with the Holidays is an emotional ride I can't explain. Thanksgiving was not only difficult, it was a teary blur. I hear I hosted a wonderful meal but it was like I wasn't there at all. I was a huge fake. Everyone worried (except my Dad). My family could not only see but feel my sadness. It runs deep and different than other those I know that have loss a parent. Everyone deals with grief differently, but also, I had this dysfunctional relationship baggage that I am trying to sort out. A lot of guilt and misunderstanding to my grief. I am still trying to fix everything through my Dad... which is a whole different post...<br />
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Christmas is upon us.<br />
<br />
This year even without the dealing the grief, our plans are a bit different. We are not planning to drag all of the Christmas stuff out. I am not even planning to put the tree up. I am only pulling a few things out. Along with my Christmas containers, I have found a couple of bags of my Mom's Christmas decorations that I salvaged when we moved Dad and condensed their belongings. I barely remember putting them in with mine. But I started going through them today. Among them was this...<br />
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It is my Sister Julie & my Childhood Nativity Set. It has several chipped and broken figurines. The manger is barely standing with it's weakened cardboard frame torn and caved in. But other than a couple of the original sheep... I believe it is all here.<br />
My Sis and I would spend hours playing with this. Re-enacting the story of Baby Jesus born in the Manger. The Three Kings, the Shepperd's coming with their gifts. As we grew up we would constantly change the setting stage. I think I preferred them all looking onto Baby Jesus, and my Sis would switch them to look out to us as if it were a play.<br />
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I remember getting new Kings and Shepperds. We would get them at Ben Franklin or Murphy's. It was exciting looking them over in the store all lined up waiting to join a Nativity set. The price sticker still remains on this one.<br />
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Through the years, through the chaos... somehow this Nativity Set was not destroyed or lost. It survived. Much like my Sister Julie, and I.<br />
<br />janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617907369106630962.post-53654817306801841162012-11-28T10:29:00.000-05:002012-11-28T10:29:45.203-05:00Cat Brat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dxsiyRXhUpY/ULYeuVeV7kI/AAAAAAAACls/FJVVgygeWF4/s1600/iphone+pictures+184.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dxsiyRXhUpY/ULYeuVeV7kI/AAAAAAAACls/FJVVgygeWF4/s320/iphone+pictures+184.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
This is Mischa. I have blogged about her before. She is probably one of the most annoying Cats I have ever had. Don't get me wrong... I love this stinker to pieces. But she is most definently a BRAT.<br />
The day she came to live with us,(eight years ago) my Annie & I came out to sit on the porch waiting for Annie to get picked up by friends. We heard a very distinct cry.. We went over to our open garage where we found this skinny cat meowing and meowing. Hubby stepped out into the garage about the same time, also hearing her cry. We fed her (she was straving), and we gave her a warm bed to rest. We had no luck finding who she belonged to (our neighborhood was not one that pets ran amuck... no stray animals around here. We finally decided, someone who knew how I am stuck her in our garage knowing we would find her a home. <br />
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We did. Ours. <br />
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At first we found her constant meowing charmng. She reminded us so much of our Chatty Tanda (best cat ever... died 14 years prior). But Mischa doesn't have a sweet meow. For a small cat, it's not a petite soft meow. More like Janice, Chanlor's old girlfriend on Friends... Or Fran from The Nanny. (She must be a Jersey Cat). Anyway... she never ever ever shuts up. She drives everyone crazy. Especially Sergio & Riley. She just walks around meowing non stop. Some mornings she gets sent to the other end of the house so we can sleep. She is at her worse in the morning. She wants everyone up when she is up.<br />
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She is destructive. She shreds the furniture, the wood tirm... She is naughty.<br />
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She is a clumsy cat too. She knocks things over... she slips or misjudges something she attempts to jump to... she runs into things... (her vision is perfect she is jsut not graceful).<br />
This morning I let the dogs out and returned to bed to get another half hour of dreamland. Mischa was walking all over me, trying to get me up. I ignored her. She started eating my plant (which drives me crazy! it's from Mom's services and it is whittering, besides, Mischa will just throw up if she eats some of it). I hollered at her to stop her... She leaped to my table next to bed, sliding into things. I heard something slip, but assumed it was water that the cap wasn't secured. But then I started to smell something. Overwhelmingly smell something. That Darn Cat knocked over an Aroma oils and Reeds vase! Oil is everywhere, table, book, wall, carpet... And my room is in over-abundance of the scent fresh lines (which doesn' smell like that at all). Chocked me & THE DOGS right out of the room!<br />
<br />
So now, here I sit... listening to her meow.... choking from a cheap imatition of "Fresh Linens" and loving this ridiculous Bratty Cat.janishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18424946398926069813noreply@blogger.com1