Thursday, December 27, 2012

exhale

The soothing satisfaction of being able to exhale. 
I was uptight, nervous, and short of breath. As Christmas was looming I was fretting.  Would this Holiday be as disastrous as Thanksgiving?  Was I going to be a tearful emotional mess again? Or was I going to be okay this Holiday?


With prayer, I woke with a gentle warmth in my heart and a strength in my soul. I was okay with this Holiday.

The day flowed with funny mishaps but no pain.

I burnt the ham... I burnt the corn.... I burnt the rolls. Seriously? Who does that?  I NEVER burn things. But my sweet Family laughed with me and ate it.

Dad had a spike in his blood sugar.  A very high spike... But with insulin we got him back to normal.


jan annie sheri 12.25.12
Later in the evening Annie & I talked Sheri into going to a movie. Parental Guidance. Sweet little funny movie.  I spilled two not just one over sized Diet Cokes on myself at two different times.  Before giving myself a hard time over this... I will say that three other folks in the theater did also so I totally blame the flimsy over sized cups not the user. Hanging with Annie & Sheri was such a wonderful thing.  We laughed. A lot.  Annie's snort laugh.  Sheri's squeal with tears. And my gasping guffaw.

The weather held back. Giving us a warm day perfect for transporting Dad to my house. Waiting to bring us the beautiful snow the next morning. We got a beautiful display of white blanket, along with wicked winds.  The snow photograph at the top of the post, is of a snow overhang from our roof.  So pretty.

My Mom was all around me this Christmas. 

sis mom me...a few years back
It was not sad.  It was not manic. It was her sweetness. Her softer side.  The fun... the love. 

I was able to enjoy this Christmas.. and that is huge.

I miss my Mom.  I miss the good times, not the manic. 

But, it's all good.  I'm able to breathe, I'm able to exhale.



3 comments:

B. WHITTINGTON said...

Enjoyed the post. Holidays can be hard. I've had some tough ones. This one pretty nice, balanced, enjoyable.
Hang in.
Loved the photo of you mom and sister.
Blessings. Thanks for sharing. Barb

janis said...

from Pam @ Scotty's Place...
{unfortunately I am an idiot and my chubby fingers have no business trying to do anything on the internet via iphone! so I had to cut & paste it since I manage to delete instead of publish! }

Pammy Sue has left a new comment on your post "exhale":

Thank you so much for all your sweet words! They meant a lot to me. I am so glad you were able to enjoy your Christmas after all. Here's to us both having a much better and happier 2013! I know you know this already, but your family is beautiful! I'm sure it has a lot to do with their wonderful mother and wife. You're a gem, girlie. XOXOXO

bj said...

Darlin' Janis with the handsome husband....:)
Bless your sweet heart. So sorry you've had a hard time thru Thanksgiving and so glad you made it thru the hard times of Christmas.
I know, oh so well,how our hearts can just fill up with missing our moms. Here I am, Janis...an olden lady of 75 (in just a few more hours) and I miss my mama almost every day. That's our job...we're daughters.
hugs to you my sister friend,
bj