With the recent death of my Mom, dealing with the Holidays is an emotional ride I can't explain. Thanksgiving was not only difficult, it was a teary blur. I hear I hosted a wonderful meal but it was like I wasn't there at all. I was a huge fake. Everyone worried (except my Dad). My family could not only see but feel my sadness. It runs deep and different than other those I know that have loss a parent. Everyone deals with grief differently, but also, I had this dysfunctional relationship baggage that I am trying to sort out. A lot of guilt and misunderstanding to my grief. I am still trying to fix everything through my Dad... which is a whole different post...
Christmas is upon us.
This year even without the dealing the grief, our plans are a bit different. We are not planning to drag all of the Christmas stuff out. I am not even planning to put the tree up. I am only pulling a few things out. Along with my Christmas containers, I have found a couple of bags of my Mom's Christmas decorations that I salvaged when we moved Dad and condensed their belongings. I barely remember putting them in with mine. But I started going through them today. Among them was this...
My Sis and I would spend hours playing with this. Re-enacting the story of Baby Jesus born in the Manger. The Three Kings, the Shepperd's coming with their gifts. As we grew up we would constantly change the setting stage. I think I preferred them all looking onto Baby Jesus, and my Sis would switch them to look out to us as if it were a play.
Through the years, through the chaos... somehow this Nativity Set was not destroyed or lost. It survived. Much like my Sister Julie, and I.
resolution of the blues and other matters
19 hours ago