Tuesday, September 20, 2011

No Regrets.... from now on

I admit. I have had a few.
Maybe too many.
But...
Would I have arrived where I am without them?

I do wish I could twitch my nose, and POOF! that didn't happen!

But... I can't.

And that's okay.

I have learned a lot over the past few years. Particularly the past couple.

What has happened, has happened. 

As Betsy has taught me... "you can't changed that chair into a couch no matter how much you want it done!" With that being said, I am ready to move on.

From writing, and reviling some scars I have thought much about some of the things I have endured. I am not looking for pity here... I just wonder how things were overlooked and I was not rescued.
...from the abusive teacher
...from the abusive uncle
...from the abusive friend of a parent
...from the abusive boyfriend
...from the neglectful friend

was it really hard to step up and protect the child? the teen? the woman?

sigh

Then, I think of the mistakes I have made on my own. Sure, blame it on someone or something, but when you get down to it, I made my paths myself.
What was I thinking?
Why wasn't I thinking?

sigh times two.

Today is a new day. 
From here on, I am not going to allow myself to be a victim. 
I am going to continue to be me... moving forward with a generous heart full of love. I am going to be giving and helpful. I am gonna keep smiling and laughing.

I feel a sense of relief.  Like a heavy burden has been lifted.

dare i say it?

I CAN BREATHE

3 comments:

Mark Pressley said...

"In with the good air, out with the bad!"

ellen abbott said...

The first step to not being a victim is to stop feeling like one. Predators are attracted to the victim mentality. Project strength and capability and they will not approach.

Reality Jayne said...

The strong have to rescue themselves....God knows it. Thats what i always try to think of when I wonder why things were or are.