I admit. I have had a few.
Maybe too many.
Would I have arrived where I am without them?
I do wish I could twitch my nose, and POOF! that didn't happen!
But... I can't.
And that's okay.
I have learned a lot over the past few years. Particularly the past couple.
What has happened, has happened.
As Betsy has taught me... "you can't changed that chair into a couch no matter how much you want it done!" With that being said, I am ready to move on.
From writing, and reviling some scars I have thought much about some of the things I have endured. I am not looking for pity here... I just wonder how things were overlooked and I was not rescued.
...from the abusive teacher
...from the abusive uncle
...from the abusive friend of a parent
...from the abusive boyfriend
...from the neglectful friend
was it really hard to step up and protect the child? the teen? the woman?
Then, I think of the mistakes I have made on my own. Sure, blame it on someone or something, but when you get down to it, I made my paths myself.
What was I thinking?
Why wasn't I thinking?
sigh times two.
Today is a new day.
From here on, I am not going to allow myself to be a victim.
I am going to continue to be me... moving forward with a generous heart full of love. I am going to be giving and helpful. I am gonna keep smiling and laughing.
I feel a sense of relief. Like a heavy burden has been lifted.
dare i say it?
I CAN BREATHE
All the 'feels' ....
5 hours ago