Monday, December 20, 2010

Let's Chat about Marriage

Today marks our 24th Wedding Anniversary.
December 20th, 1986, Sergio & I exchanged our vows.
I was 24 and Sergio 28.
When we started dating, neither of us were looking for a future spouse.  We were both happy about dating without that... false pretense. Do you know what I mean?  We weren't trying to impress each other or catch each other. Quite frankly, Sergio had a bit of a Casanova reputation. I knew he wasn't looking for a wife. He loved being a bachelor.  Me? I had just stepped out of an uhm.. difficult relationship. Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind, so to date a man that appeared to be a "Lifer as a Bachelor" was a great sense of relief.
No pressure.
He had to convince  me to go out.  I was planning on taking a year off dating. He finally got me to agree to a cookout with several friends. Just hanging out and enjoying our mutual friends.
That was June 9th, 1985.
We have been together since.

The way we meet is a grand story... but I am going to make you wait till next year to hear it. This post is more about marriage.

Once I was at a friend's wedding shower. There was some concern about these two marrying. I said, "If you have any doubts, please don't do this.  It's a life commitment." She smiled and said, "Not hardly Jan. I can always get divorced if it doesn't work out."  Which they did.

I know other friends that married because of timing, or because they dated so long, or because...what if no one better comes along?

I know friends that have been in abusive or controlling marriages. I know friends that have cheated and thought nothing of it.

I know friends that can't stand or have no respect for their spouses.

I can't imagine.

Please don't misunderstand. My marriage has been far from perfect. There have been moments of doubt, moments of tears, and a lot of prayers. (I have always prayed daily for my spouse and my marriage).

My marriage takes a lot of work and I am proud that we do, both of us, work hard every day at it. It takes 150% not just 50%.  It takes patience, understanding, and sacrifices. It takes a lot of prayer.

I believe in divorce. I believe in separation. I do not believe anyone should stay in a loveless or cruel marriage...
But, I also believe in commitment. In love. And God's plan. I wish everyone would think very hard about their decision to marry, and the seriousness of the commitment they are about to make. Especially a Christian marriage... think about the promise you are making not only to each, but to God.

I believe the mountains are not appreciated as much without the valleys. And that some valleys can not be crossed, some mountains can not be accomplished.

I do know that, for me, it is worth every valley, every bit of energy, every tear and every single prayer.

God has given me this man to share my life and to love me. To walk beside and enjoy every day of our lives together.
For that, I am truly Blessed♥


Mark Pressley said...

Congrats to you both

Mary said...

wonderful post - Happy Anniversary

Ziongirl said...

Congratulations sweet Janis and Sergio! A mile mark for sure!