Saturday, February 21, 2009

Icky Friday

Friday was an icky day. My spirits are down again. Interesting how a chain of events can snowball into a teary evening.

Nothing traumatic. Just icky.

It started with Brunch with my Folks. I love them dearly, but get so tense and nervous when around them. I never know what to expect. They live about an hour away so our get together's are not frequent. I have posted about some of our issues, so I wont go there. If you are new to my blog, either go back to the beginning of my postings or just know that there are some.. situations.

I feel so guilty around them. I want to do more for them but it is difficult for many reasons. Mainly, Mom is bi-polar, drama magnet, and controlling. She has to have a crisis to be in the middle of.

One of her upcoming drama-crisis is their 50th Wedding Anniversary that is in August. She wants a BIG PARTY CELEBRATION. I know what you are thinking, 50 years, how wonderful, every right to celebrate. However, they have had several big party celebrations to mark their anniversaries. They have Renewed their vows at 4 of these celebrations and intend on doing it yet again in August.

My folks live an hour away from most of their family and friends. The travel is difficult on many (hence many of their friends are advancing in age). Also, my cousin is getting married on their anniversary, therefore that date is reserved for much of the family for her. The following weekend my sister will be out of town, as well as my family getting the girls up to Muncie. I will be so stress about the baby going to COLLEGE!

My folks live in a tiny Senior Living place. They have about 500sf. She said they can get the clubhouse, but she also wants to reserve the Church for her Vow Ceremony. Oh my gosh! This will be over the top. Mom will invite everyone from the grocery cashier to the little lady down the street. As well as the 50 or so friends and family that came to the last anniversary party. Just thinking about this is stressing me out.

I also had some issues at work. I wont go into them. I am just frustrated. As everywhere, hours are getting cut and I too am feeling the crunch. It is difficult to work evenings as I have become a morning person not a night owl over the years.

Then I had some other stuff that is draining me and making me crazy. I just want to go to sleep and wake up from this dream. I want to have belly laughs, comfort and joy. I do have it from Sergio & the girls, but somehow it just isn't enough for me. I want the happiness, health and prosperity. I want it all!


lakeviewer said...

Janis, you need help to deal with it all. Who can be put in charge of Mom and Anniversary besides yourself? As far as cost and all that jazz, look at churches, and how they manage with big crowds; they throw parties for hundreds, call them potluck, and each group brings one type of dish. The only thing you have to do is ORGANIZE. I know, bad timing is probably the worst part. Tell your Mom you want her to have the best, at the best time, in the summer, when you can just have a picnic........

Vevay Anderson said...

Family drama is fabulous! I seem to always have some, myself. I love your blog title, BTW. People in my life are constantly telling me to BREATHE! It's a novel idea...

janis said...

Thank you Rosaria & VeVay.

I will take your advice to heart Rosaria~ Mom doesn't listen well though. If you suggest one thing she will bolt to the opposite!

VeVay~ Fabulous? Really? I don't agree. At least not my family drama! Maybe we could trade? I have lived enough in 46 years to last several lifetimes. I would be quite content never having another drama in our family! Too much melancholy.

sroman said...

Please please try to let it go. You have never been able to stop your mom from ANY celebration. Wish her well and then do what works best for you -- with no apology.