Friday was an icky day. My spirits are down again. Interesting how a chain of events can snowball into a teary evening.
Nothing traumatic. Just icky.
It started with Brunch with my Folks. I love them dearly, but get so tense and nervous when around them. I never know what to expect. They live about an hour away so our get together's are not frequent. I have posted about some of our issues, so I wont go there. If you are new to my blog, either go back to the beginning of my postings or just know that there are some.. situations.
I feel so guilty around them. I want to do more for them but it is difficult for many reasons. Mainly, Mom is bi-polar, drama magnet, and controlling. She has to have a crisis to be in the middle of.
One of her upcoming drama-crisis is their 50th Wedding Anniversary that is in August. She wants a BIG PARTY CELEBRATION. I know what you are thinking, 50 years, how wonderful, every right to celebrate. However, they have had several big party celebrations to mark their anniversaries. They have Renewed their vows at 4 of these celebrations and intend on doing it yet again in August.
My folks live an hour away from most of their family and friends. The travel is difficult on many (hence many of their friends are advancing in age). Also, my cousin is getting married on their anniversary, therefore that date is reserved for much of the family for her. The following weekend my sister will be out of town, as well as my family getting the girls up to Muncie. I will be so stress about the baby going to COLLEGE!
My folks live in a tiny Senior Living place. They have about 500sf. She said they can get the clubhouse, but she also wants to reserve the Church for her Vow Ceremony. Oh my gosh! This will be over the top. Mom will invite everyone from the grocery cashier to the little lady down the street. As well as the 50 or so friends and family that came to the last anniversary party. Just thinking about this is stressing me out.
I also had some issues at work. I wont go into them. I am just frustrated. As everywhere, hours are getting cut and I too am feeling the crunch. It is difficult to work evenings as I have become a morning person not a night owl over the years.
Then I had some other stuff that is draining me and making me crazy. I just want to go to sleep and wake up from this dream. I want to have belly laughs, comfort and joy. I do have it from Sergio & the girls, but somehow it just isn't enough for me. I want the happiness, health and prosperity. I want it all!
another day pretty much like the previous days
44 minutes ago