Tuesday, June 10, 2008

melancholy

I like this word. My dictionary gives it a rather long definition, or actually a list of words that describe it:
melancholy~ pensive sadness; depression; depressing; expressing sadness; sorrow; misery; gloom; unhappiness; the blues; moroseness; melancholia; dejection; dejectedness; despondence; despondency; morose; unhappy; gloomy; woeful; woebegone; lugubrious; disconsolate; downcast; downhearted & saddening.

Part of what I like about this word is the way it sounds, and the other part is that I get it. I understand exactly what this word is about.

Before I get a phone call from a certain friend, RELAX, I am fine. Talking to you today was just what I needed, however, I still felt the need to blog "carefully" about this.

I think that depression is very misunderstood. People assume that depression comes from situations or lack of control of feelings when things go wrong. They think that if you have a "good life" a loving family, home, financially alright, that there is no excuse for it. That it is somehow understandable for someone that is going through a crisis.

Depression is extreme melancholy, often with physical symptoms.

Depression is a hereditary disease. I have seen several grandparents, both my parents, and a cousin suffer from it as well. I think my whole life I was terrified that one day I would let my guard down and it would catch up to me. As a child growing up, it was difficult to understand. It seemed selfish. As an adult, I would be angered attending a funeral of someone I loved that had committed suicide. So many people fight daily to live and I know a coward that threw his life away.

I do not feel that way anymore.I understand it. The melancholy. The anxiousness.

I also am a huge supported of drugs to get that chemical imbalance proportioned back to normal. I agree that too often people lean on Xanax, Zolam, and other anxiety medications. But, when it comes to drugs like Lexpro and other antidepressants to control suicidal thoughts and attempts I know that it is important to be supportive to loved ones that are in need of these medications.

I don't have any answers why some of us get depressed or even anxious. I know that I have the opportunity to make the best of what I have been dealt and to live my life to it's fulliest. When I get too down, yes, I will see a Doctor, take a pill, or when I am lucky just get some puppy kisses and some friend and family magical hugs.

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